http://www.citizenlink.org/CLtopstories/A000010249.cfm
I do not agree with killing anything that can grow which includes fetuses. If you think about it, you can compare the fetus to two things. Flies and flowers. I hate flies. I kill flies all the time because they are annoying and dirty. Flowers, I love growing flowers, and I always urge my kids not to go into those flower beds so the flowers don't get trampled and die. To me, the fetus is a flower not a fly. I don't agree with abortion. Now in America, there are certain rights for certain people. Apparently if the majority of people agree that a certain type of murder is not murder anymore, then it's okay to murder. So, I'll give you that, and agree that it is okay to have free will and do whatever you want to do. The problem is, these people who like to kill also are encouraging others to kill and taking parents out of the picture.
Our parental rights are actively being threatened. The Universal court has an international law that gives children rights. If the US decides to go under this court, we are in trouble. If my child cries in public, the CPS can take my child away without answers or questions. So, apparently, if our kids want to have sex and have abortions, we don't have a right as parents to say no, especially if we had some mumbo jumbo religious reason. And of course, who is telling all these kids that it's okay to have "safe sex", the Comprehensive Sex Education program! It is a monopoly for activist organizations like Planned Parenthood.
There is one reason why I do not support govt schools. Activists. Gay activists, religious activists, anti life activists... you name it. They get to our next generation, they get the vote, and they know it.
I have blogged many times on tolerance. As Christians, we are the intolerant these days. Truth has become impressionistic. Oh, if it's true to you, then it's obviously true to you. What a bunch of bull. I remember watching a commercial on KERA where a bunch of blind folded kids stuck their hands into a huge bowl of spaghetti. Well, each kid had a uniquely ridiculous answer. Snakes, slimy worms, dragon hair,... I was truly disappointed that they never announced that there was only one true answer! SPAGHETTI! Those kids can think they are worms all they want, but the truth is that it was not worms! This society encourages its people to be blinded to the truth. So apparently, because of this, those who stand up for what is right and what is true (absolute truth) are wrong and intolerant. How sad and backwards.
Anyway, we know this is all about one thing. Warfare for the next generation's souls. God, You are sovereign. We love because You have first loved us. But those who don't love You will never know love. Forgive us as we fall short every day. Help us to persevere through trials, persecution, ridicule, and hatred. We need You more than ever and I ask You to set our children apart for You. Help us. Help us raise our kids to love You and Your word more than anything in this world. Help them to see You in us. Help us to live our lives through You and love them. We need You in our home. Continue to transform us so that we will become who You want us to be. Continue to use us and stretch our faith. Show us Your glory. AMEN.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Reporting live from Fort Worth Texas
Love our life here. Love our church here. Love what God's doing in our family. Love the people God has brought into our lives.
People have come up to me, teachers, friends, family, telling me that God has given Abigail, wisdom beyond her years. I never gave it much thought and thought people are just being nice until.... Yesterday, Phill was just doing a usual round to the homeless on Hemphill. Abigail asked if she could go. We told her she could and I reminded her to be friendly but be careful. When she heard that her friends were coming over, she asked if she could stay home. So I pulled her aside and I asked her one question, "Has God put the homeless in your heart?" She looked at me and nodded. I was taken by surprised. But I told her if God has put them in her heart, then she has to first obey God. That when she comes home, her friends will be here. But what God has put in her heart is important for her to do. Her friends came over, everyone got ready, and she left with her daddy. I was so proud of her. I almost cried when I told Phill afterwards about the conversation I had with her. I praise God for her and for giving her such wisdom. Lord, thank you for using Abigail and giving her the opportunity to love your people. Continue to teach her, mold her, and speak to her. Open her heart and eyes to You. Help us to guide her in her strengths and weaknesses. We pray that we will be equipped to bring her closer to You. Keep the devil away from her and keep her set apart for You. You know her heart and our hearts. Continue to work in us. AMEN.
Quote Benjamin Nockels.........
http://www.glocal.net/blog/comments/mission-community-fellowship/
"If we pursue friendship we can miss out on discipleship.
But if we pursue discipleship we will end up with the best kind of friendship.
If we pursue community we can miss out on a cause.
But if we pursue a cause we will end up with the best kind of community (cause-driven community).
If we pursue church we can miss out on Jesus.
But if we pursue Jesus we will end up with the best kind of church."
People have come up to me, teachers, friends, family, telling me that God has given Abigail, wisdom beyond her years. I never gave it much thought and thought people are just being nice until.... Yesterday, Phill was just doing a usual round to the homeless on Hemphill. Abigail asked if she could go. We told her she could and I reminded her to be friendly but be careful. When she heard that her friends were coming over, she asked if she could stay home. So I pulled her aside and I asked her one question, "Has God put the homeless in your heart?" She looked at me and nodded. I was taken by surprised. But I told her if God has put them in her heart, then she has to first obey God. That when she comes home, her friends will be here. But what God has put in her heart is important for her to do. Her friends came over, everyone got ready, and she left with her daddy. I was so proud of her. I almost cried when I told Phill afterwards about the conversation I had with her. I praise God for her and for giving her such wisdom. Lord, thank you for using Abigail and giving her the opportunity to love your people. Continue to teach her, mold her, and speak to her. Open her heart and eyes to You. Help us to guide her in her strengths and weaknesses. We pray that we will be equipped to bring her closer to You. Keep the devil away from her and keep her set apart for You. You know her heart and our hearts. Continue to work in us. AMEN.
Quote Benjamin Nockels.........
http://www.glocal.net/blog/comments/mission-community-fellowship/
"If we pursue friendship we can miss out on discipleship.
But if we pursue discipleship we will end up with the best kind of friendship.
If we pursue community we can miss out on a cause.
But if we pursue a cause we will end up with the best kind of community (cause-driven community).
If we pursue church we can miss out on Jesus.
But if we pursue Jesus we will end up with the best kind of church."
Friday, April 10, 2009
Finally, 15 days overdue baby #3
Esther Eden Koo
born Mar24 2pm 9lb7oz
We all expected this third baby to arrive in the end of February, and she kept us waiting and waiting!
Esther, literally means "star" (Esther, a young Hebrew girl formerly known as Hadassa, was chosen to be queen of Persia. She was a courageous young woman who confronted a wicked plan that was going to persecute her people even when she faced death); Eden is Hebrew for "delight" (Eden is mentioned once again in the last book of the Bible, Revelation chapter 2, as a place of where the tree of life still resides). We dedicated the Book of Phillipians to her. She is to live out a life described in Phillipians 2:14-16 as a star and be the place where others can find the "tree of Life" at.
Our first born, Abigail (the wise woman who became a wife of King David) is Hebrew and means "joy of her Abba Father"; Elizabeth (Mary's cousin, Jesus' Aunt once removed) is Greek for Hebrew name Elisheva "my God is my oath". We dedicated the book of Proverbs to her. She is to bring joy and glory to God in her life through wisdom, passion, and servanthood.
Our second born, Isaac (son of Abraham who calls God "his Fear") is Hebrew for "he will laugh"; James (half brother of Jesus) is English for Hebrew name Jacob "supplanter". We pray he will rejoice and bring glory to God's kingdom as he learns to become a leader. And of course we dedicated the book of James to him.
born Mar24 2pm 9lb7oz
We all expected this third baby to arrive in the end of February, and she kept us waiting and waiting!
Esther, literally means "star" (Esther, a young Hebrew girl formerly known as Hadassa, was chosen to be queen of Persia. She was a courageous young woman who confronted a wicked plan that was going to persecute her people even when she faced death); Eden is Hebrew for "delight" (Eden is mentioned once again in the last book of the Bible, Revelation chapter 2, as a place of where the tree of life still resides). We dedicated the Book of Phillipians to her. She is to live out a life described in Phillipians 2:14-16 as a star and be the place where others can find the "tree of Life" at.
Our first born, Abigail (the wise woman who became a wife of King David) is Hebrew and means "joy of her Abba Father"; Elizabeth (Mary's cousin, Jesus' Aunt once removed) is Greek for Hebrew name Elisheva "my God is my oath". We dedicated the book of Proverbs to her. She is to bring joy and glory to God in her life through wisdom, passion, and servanthood.
Our second born, Isaac (son of Abraham who calls God "his Fear") is Hebrew for "he will laugh"; James (half brother of Jesus) is English for Hebrew name Jacob "supplanter". We pray he will rejoice and bring glory to God's kingdom as he learns to become a leader. And of course we dedicated the book of James to him.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
I will not forget
I have been so frustrated and annoyed. The baby is supposed to come out earlier because it's our third one! I haven't been able to walk, sit, or sleep well for so long. I need to clean the house but can't. I need to spend quality time with my two toddlers but I feel like I haven't. I need to cook but I don't want to. I need to eat but I don't feel like it. I need the baby out, but it's not coming! I find myself getting mad. Getting mad at myself. My body. My baby. My God. We have been in prayer about this VBAC thing and this baby. What's going on??
But I keep reminding myself not to forget. I cannot forget. I will accept God's will in everything. I finished reading this ridiculously long book by Beth Moore yesterday, "To live is Christ". Paul met Jesus on the road to Damascus and I met Jesus on the road to death in my car 5 years ago. I remember the moment when I gave up. Jesus sat in the passenger seat right next to me in my white Ford Taurus. I was hurting, heart broken, purposeless in life, and I remember a supernatural peace came rushing when I cried out for Jesus. It drenched me, my body, physically in something that felt like grace and comfort. He was right across from me. I met Him in my car. I met Jesus face to face. He talked to me and He confronted me. I will never forget. My moment of salvation will always bring tears to my eyes.
Grace like rain. He became my Lord, my Savior, my everything. There's none other from then on. So Lord, I trust in You. Whatever it is You have planned, that's the way it will be. Just give me Your strength, courage, and mercy. God help me. God reveal in me my iniquities. Help me to overcome. You are all powerful and I know You are able to do all things. Bless my children and be with them. Help us to be parents who will always fall on their knees for Your help and mercy. Speak to us and we will listen. We pray Your sovereignty over all things in our lives. AMEN.
Grace Like Rain
Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EU2h9dXPat0&feature=related
But I keep reminding myself not to forget. I cannot forget. I will accept God's will in everything. I finished reading this ridiculously long book by Beth Moore yesterday, "To live is Christ". Paul met Jesus on the road to Damascus and I met Jesus on the road to death in my car 5 years ago. I remember the moment when I gave up. Jesus sat in the passenger seat right next to me in my white Ford Taurus. I was hurting, heart broken, purposeless in life, and I remember a supernatural peace came rushing when I cried out for Jesus. It drenched me, my body, physically in something that felt like grace and comfort. He was right across from me. I met Him in my car. I met Jesus face to face. He talked to me and He confronted me. I will never forget. My moment of salvation will always bring tears to my eyes.
Grace like rain. He became my Lord, my Savior, my everything. There's none other from then on. So Lord, I trust in You. Whatever it is You have planned, that's the way it will be. Just give me Your strength, courage, and mercy. God help me. God reveal in me my iniquities. Help me to overcome. You are all powerful and I know You are able to do all things. Bless my children and be with them. Help us to be parents who will always fall on their knees for Your help and mercy. Speak to us and we will listen. We pray Your sovereignty over all things in our lives. AMEN.
Grace Like Rain
Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EU2h9dXPat0&feature=related
On the matter on killing babies
http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=53913504270&h=BAJAw&u=BsgRu
I strongly oppose abortion. I think someone who is an advocate of abortion should just strongly consider staying out of the matter.
I strongly oppose abortion. I think someone who is an advocate of abortion should just strongly consider staying out of the matter.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Funny Abigail quotes
I hope to be better at documenting the funny stuff my kids say soon....
"Mommy, I don't feel blue... I feel red"
"I know my shapes, but Isaac is not a shape. He's like a silly monkey."
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your armpit!"
"I don't have socks... but I've got toes!"
"I am a pink dinosaur with red legs, and blue face, and I have green toes, and pink arms."
"Mommy, you look like a walrus"
Phill said "oh good job, your poop looks healthy and strong..." Abigail responded, "do my poopies have muscles?"
Abigail colors a picture with a dog in it. She comes to show it off, and I asked, "Does your dog have a name?" "Yeah, Dog Koo!!!" 8/2009
"Mommy, I don't feel blue... I feel red"
"I know my shapes, but Isaac is not a shape. He's like a silly monkey."
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your armpit!"
"I don't have socks... but I've got toes!"
"I am a pink dinosaur with red legs, and blue face, and I have green toes, and pink arms."
"Mommy, you look like a walrus"
Phill said "oh good job, your poop looks healthy and strong..." Abigail responded, "do my poopies have muscles?"
Abigail colors a picture with a dog in it. She comes to show it off, and I asked, "Does your dog have a name?" "Yeah, Dog Koo!!!" 8/2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Strengths and weaknesses
It has been so difficult to see specific spiritual gifts in Abigail and Isaac. It is so easy to "approve" or "like" or "favor" what one kids does, so we figured we must be liking spiritual gifts we can recognize.
So, Isaac at age 16mth has developed amazing physical skills. He can jump, run, climb up and down anything. He also has amazing communication skills. Isaac has a loving heart too. But what we have been so warmed in our hearts by, is his God given ability to share. He is sinfully still selfish of course, but he loves to be generous. Isaac loves music. I think he would love to learn the drums. He is also in love with books. He cannot survive half a day without reading.
Abigail on the other hand has to be taught a lot more to be generous. Sharing does not make her joyful. But she has amazing coloring skills, attention span, and is already learning to read ( I still can't believe she knows all the phonetic sounds of the alphabets). She loves to organize. She is some kind of a perfectionist. Her spiritual gift is more administrative and hidden. She is very compassionate and knows how to feel for others even though others might not always come first. Abigail loves music too. I think she would love to lead worship one day like me. Abigail loves to talk about God, she asks lots of questions and knows many bible stories. But her understanding and ability to remember details are incredible. She understands that Jesus is the only One that can take her to heaven! She is currently, as of today, inquiring where death takes you. But she knows so much, I am astounded. She knows tons of bible verses, not because we systematically make her memorize it, I don't know if I agree to that, but because we use bible verses throughout the day! I will intentionally get a new verse once a month, but she is able to apply the bible verses to life and not just to her amazing sponge memory.
Recognizing their strengths and weaknesses is essential. We had to sit and think hard of these strengths and weaknesses. Phill and I both have shared how our parents looked down upon what we knew were strengths and nagged us crazy about our weaknesses. They also favored other siblings because their strengths were more "useful". By acknowledging the gifts that God has bestowed on our children, we will encourage their strengths and build their weaknesses in God's timing. Parenting has been so much work because we both have some horrible, deeply rooted, and twisted "skills" from the way we grew up. Only through God's grace and wisdom have we discovered these truths about ourselves and have been transforming ever since. Transformation will never cease since our children have different phases and are in different ages. We will never be able to do it on our own. I pray God will continue to raise us as a family who will glorify His name and Kingdom. His grace and wisdom be with us. Amen.
So, Isaac at age 16mth has developed amazing physical skills. He can jump, run, climb up and down anything. He also has amazing communication skills. Isaac has a loving heart too. But what we have been so warmed in our hearts by, is his God given ability to share. He is sinfully still selfish of course, but he loves to be generous. Isaac loves music. I think he would love to learn the drums. He is also in love with books. He cannot survive half a day without reading.
Abigail on the other hand has to be taught a lot more to be generous. Sharing does not make her joyful. But she has amazing coloring skills, attention span, and is already learning to read ( I still can't believe she knows all the phonetic sounds of the alphabets). She loves to organize. She is some kind of a perfectionist. Her spiritual gift is more administrative and hidden. She is very compassionate and knows how to feel for others even though others might not always come first. Abigail loves music too. I think she would love to lead worship one day like me. Abigail loves to talk about God, she asks lots of questions and knows many bible stories. But her understanding and ability to remember details are incredible. She understands that Jesus is the only One that can take her to heaven! She is currently, as of today, inquiring where death takes you. But she knows so much, I am astounded. She knows tons of bible verses, not because we systematically make her memorize it, I don't know if I agree to that, but because we use bible verses throughout the day! I will intentionally get a new verse once a month, but she is able to apply the bible verses to life and not just to her amazing sponge memory.
Recognizing their strengths and weaknesses is essential. We had to sit and think hard of these strengths and weaknesses. Phill and I both have shared how our parents looked down upon what we knew were strengths and nagged us crazy about our weaknesses. They also favored other siblings because their strengths were more "useful". By acknowledging the gifts that God has bestowed on our children, we will encourage their strengths and build their weaknesses in God's timing. Parenting has been so much work because we both have some horrible, deeply rooted, and twisted "skills" from the way we grew up. Only through God's grace and wisdom have we discovered these truths about ourselves and have been transforming ever since. Transformation will never cease since our children have different phases and are in different ages. We will never be able to do it on our own. I pray God will continue to raise us as a family who will glorify His name and Kingdom. His grace and wisdom be with us. Amen.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Warning on a book - FWD
"Subject: Beware of this book....Oprah is pushing it...
To:
Date: Sunday, February 8, 2009, 8:59 PM
BEWARE!!
If you have children or grandchildren, work with children at church, or you have neighborhood children whose parents you know, please take note of the information below and pass it along to others. Schools are distributing this
book to children through the Scholastic Book Club.
The name of the book is Conversations with God.. James Dobson talked about this book twice this week. It is devastating. Parents, churches and Christian schools need to be aware of it. Please pass this information on to
church/e-mail addresses, Parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, friends.
Please pay special attention not only to what your kids watch on TV, in
movie theaters, on the Internet, and the music they listen to, but also be alert regarding the books they read.
Two particular books are, Conversations with God and Conversations with God for Teens,
written by Neale D. Walsch. They sound harmless enough by their titles alone. The books have been on the New York Times best sellers list for a number of weeks, and they make truth of the statement, "Don't judge a book by its cover or title."
The author purports to answer various questions asked by kids using the "voice of God". However, the "answers" that he gives are not Bible-based and go against the very infallible word of God. For instance (and I paraphrase),
when a girl asks the question "Why am I a lesbian?" His answer is that she was 'born that way' because of genetics (just as you were born right-handed, with brown eyes, etc.). Then he tells her to go out and "celebrate" her differences.
Another girls poses
the question "I am living with my boyfriend. My parents say that I should marry him because I am living in sin. Should I marry him?"
His reply is, "Who are you sinning against? Not me, because you have done nothing wrong."
Another question asks about God's forgiveness of sin. His reply "I do not forgive anyone because there is nothing to forgive. There is no such thing as right or wrong and that is what I have been trying to tell everyone, do not ju
dge people. People have chosen to judge one another and this is wrong, because the rule is "'judge not lest ye be judged."
Not only are these books the false doctrine of the devil, but in some instances quote (in error) the Word of God.
And the list goes on. These books (and others like it) are being sold to schoolchildren through (The Scholastic Book Club), and we need to be aware of what is being fed to our children.
The children of our nation are under attack. So I pray that you be sober and vigilant about teaching your children the Word of God, and guarding their exposure to worldly mediums, because our adversary, the devil, roams about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8). We know that lions usually hunt for the slowest, weakest and YOUNGEST of its prey.
Pass this on to every Believer you know. And, if you are in doubt, check out the
books yourself."
To:
Date: Sunday, February 8, 2009, 8:59 PM
BEWARE!!
If you have children or grandchildren, work with children at church, or you have neighborhood children whose parents you know, please take note of the information below and pass it along to others. Schools are distributing this
book to children through the Scholastic Book Club.
The name of the book is Conversations with God.. James Dobson talked about this book twice this week. It is devastating. Parents, churches and Christian schools need to be aware of it. Please pass this information on to
church/e-mail addresses, Parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, friends.
Please pay special attention not only to what your kids watch on TV, in
movie theaters, on the Internet, and the music they listen to, but also be alert regarding the books they read.
Two particular books are, Conversations with God and Conversations with God for Teens,
written by Neale D. Walsch. They sound harmless enough by their titles alone. The books have been on the New York Times best sellers list for a number of weeks, and they make truth of the statement, "Don't judge a book by its cover or title."
The author purports to answer various questions asked by kids using the "voice of God". However, the "answers" that he gives are not Bible-based and go against the very infallible word of God. For instance (and I paraphrase),
when a girl asks the question "Why am I a lesbian?" His answer is that she was 'born that way' because of genetics (just as you were born right-handed, with brown eyes, etc.). Then he tells her to go out and "celebrate" her differences.
Another girls poses
the question "I am living with my boyfriend. My parents say that I should marry him because I am living in sin. Should I marry him?"
His reply is, "Who are you sinning against? Not me, because you have done nothing wrong."
Another question asks about God's forgiveness of sin. His reply "I do not forgive anyone because there is nothing to forgive. There is no such thing as right or wrong and that is what I have been trying to tell everyone, do not ju
dge people. People have chosen to judge one another and this is wrong, because the rule is "'judge not lest ye be judged."
Not only are these books the false doctrine of the devil, but in some instances quote (in error) the Word of God.
And the list goes on. These books (and others like it) are being sold to schoolchildren through (The Scholastic Book Club), and we need to be aware of what is being fed to our children.
The children of our nation are under attack. So I pray that you be sober and vigilant about teaching your children the Word of God, and guarding their exposure to worldly mediums, because our adversary, the devil, roams about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8). We know that lions usually hunt for the slowest, weakest and YOUNGEST of its prey.
Pass this on to every Believer you know. And, if you are in doubt, check out the
books yourself."
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Renewed patience
After my appt with one of my midwives (I have 4) I have a renewed patience for my 3rd baby's pregnancy! I was totally wanting it to come out and now I am okay. My midwife was very encouraging and answered all my questions about our VBAC after 2 Ceasareans. I think God has also increased my courage and given me complete peace for this decision.
I know VBACs sound dangerous and I know people who think we are crazy even for trying to have babies naturally. Oh it stretches you and your husband will never love you again. Not true. Oh Csections are better(that's like saying formula is better for your babies). Not true. Oh a woman recovers from Csections faster and better. So not true. Oh you will have ruptures doing VBAC. Not really true either. I have read statistics after statistics, testimonies after testimonies, talked to doctors and midwives, and Phill and I are convinced VBACs are safe.
I wanted to have Abigail naturally and went through labor for more than 20 hours without drugs until emergency surgery was unavoidable. I was so mad at Abigail for having a huge head and upset at the Lord. He made us and a woman's body a certain way to have babies. Did He make my birthing organs differently??? I was just plain mad because I wanted to have a testimony and was going to give Him all glory. Through that experience, He taught me that I just really wanted to be in control. He taught me that His ways and thoughts are always higher than mine. My pride was in the way. It just wasn't time. Abigail was BIG.
Isaac was another case, he just never wanted to come out at all. He wasn't big at all. Skinny little kid. Still is. He just didn't want out. Even during the CSection when the doctor tried to grab him, he wiggled up higher and higher to avoid coming into the world. We wanted a VBAC but no one in Miami was willing to do one. My midwife was. But the hospital wasn't. This time I was only mad at Isaac cuz he didn't sleep, eat, or poop well. His poop was always everywhere.
So, this time around, my midwives and even doctors in the hospital are on the same page. Wait for the baby to come. Be patient. That's it. I feel so encouraged and excited. Phill and I also printed out this maternity acupressure booklet online that will help with everything during labor. We are packing a suitcase, and we are ready to go for days in labor if need be. We are going to start a prayer chain and we are going to ask for intercessory prayers. We are so excited. When this baby comes out, we are going to hold it, cry, and give thanks to God. And I have learned, if VBAC is not successful, I will still give thanks because He is sovereign.
Isaiah 55
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."
I know VBACs sound dangerous and I know people who think we are crazy even for trying to have babies naturally. Oh it stretches you and your husband will never love you again. Not true. Oh Csections are better(that's like saying formula is better for your babies). Not true. Oh a woman recovers from Csections faster and better. So not true. Oh you will have ruptures doing VBAC. Not really true either. I have read statistics after statistics, testimonies after testimonies, talked to doctors and midwives, and Phill and I are convinced VBACs are safe.
I wanted to have Abigail naturally and went through labor for more than 20 hours without drugs until emergency surgery was unavoidable. I was so mad at Abigail for having a huge head and upset at the Lord. He made us and a woman's body a certain way to have babies. Did He make my birthing organs differently??? I was just plain mad because I wanted to have a testimony and was going to give Him all glory. Through that experience, He taught me that I just really wanted to be in control. He taught me that His ways and thoughts are always higher than mine. My pride was in the way. It just wasn't time. Abigail was BIG.
Isaac was another case, he just never wanted to come out at all. He wasn't big at all. Skinny little kid. Still is. He just didn't want out. Even during the CSection when the doctor tried to grab him, he wiggled up higher and higher to avoid coming into the world. We wanted a VBAC but no one in Miami was willing to do one. My midwife was. But the hospital wasn't. This time I was only mad at Isaac cuz he didn't sleep, eat, or poop well. His poop was always everywhere.
So, this time around, my midwives and even doctors in the hospital are on the same page. Wait for the baby to come. Be patient. That's it. I feel so encouraged and excited. Phill and I also printed out this maternity acupressure booklet online that will help with everything during labor. We are packing a suitcase, and we are ready to go for days in labor if need be. We are going to start a prayer chain and we are going to ask for intercessory prayers. We are so excited. When this baby comes out, we are going to hold it, cry, and give thanks to God. And I have learned, if VBAC is not successful, I will still give thanks because He is sovereign.
Isaiah 55
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sideways
So other than having to cook sideways, wash dishes sideways, carry the kids sideways, hugging my husband sideways, and sleep sideways, I am also having to lead worship sideways. I have done that before while I was pregnant with Abigail but I was never this big! I reached 9 months and my bass could still be just kinda sideways. Now the guitar neck is a bit shorter so it's easier to play sideways, but the bass back is quite a bit longer. It's also heavier because it's electric. Anyway, I am, I am truly thankful that God has allowed me to lead worship again and I know this is my calling. I am just praying that this baby will come out already so I can stop being sideways. (for a year and a half till we have our fourth, that is)
God help me. I feel so heavy and tired. Give me patience and wisdom with the children. Use me in my iniquities. Create in me a new and clean heart. Never stop transforming me. Help me to respect and love my husband. Help me to hold my tongue when my sinful nature wants me to tear down. Help me build others up with Your words. Provide the fruits of the Spirit for all my actions and words, that I may live in You and Your promises. AMEN.
God help me. I feel so heavy and tired. Give me patience and wisdom with the children. Use me in my iniquities. Create in me a new and clean heart. Never stop transforming me. Help me to respect and love my husband. Help me to hold my tongue when my sinful nature wants me to tear down. Help me build others up with Your words. Provide the fruits of the Spirit for all my actions and words, that I may live in You and Your promises. AMEN.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Bragging on Him
I wish I documented better how God has been providing for us all these years. On Christmas day, we spent lunch with the homeless on Hemphill rd. and since then, we've been eating with them every other Saturdays. The week right after Christmas, God provided this set of 1200 bucks worth of cast iron pots and pans from our neighbors for me to cook more and better! I didn't even really think about it till this morning when I cooked all 5 boxes of macaronis in one pot. I realized His provisions of details and non details. I gotta finish cooking the ground beef now.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Learning about myself
I've been reading so many books on how to be a better follower of Christ, wife, and mother since Abigail and Isaac started taking naps in the bunk bed. Don't get me wrong, I loved my naps with them. It's just, I needed personal time to grow and learn. I have discovered so many things about myself and why I am the way I am just from praying and reading these books. I thought I was just learning how to serve and love my kids and I ended up also learning how to be loved and love others. When I first surrendered to Christ, I had a love that overflowed my cup and I knew I was transformed and I was so close to Jesus because I was a baby spiritually. Love came so easy like how all children love. But as I matured and grew as a believer, went through valleys and mountains, it got harder and harder. I knew Jesus' power because I came to know His love when I surrendered. I will never stop seeking to love like He does.
"but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." 1 Cor 1:24-25
God help me learn more and mature more in You so I may serve more and love more for You. I pray that my children and children's children will be blessed because of Your faithfulness. Take away their foolishness and replace with wisdom. Guide us so we may help them mature emotionally and spiritually. Humble us and continue to reveal the truth to us about ourselves. Help us to be transparent to each other and love each other unconditionally. AMEN
"but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." 1 Cor 1:24-25
God help me learn more and mature more in You so I may serve more and love more for You. I pray that my children and children's children will be blessed because of Your faithfulness. Take away their foolishness and replace with wisdom. Guide us so we may help them mature emotionally and spiritually. Humble us and continue to reveal the truth to us about ourselves. Help us to be transparent to each other and love each other unconditionally. AMEN
Friday, January 9, 2009
BABY KOO #3 ?!?!?!
We have had such a tough time with deciding our third baby's name! We still want meaningful Hebrew old testament first names and new testament middle names.
For a boy, we found these names:
1. Othniel, brother of Caleb who was the first judge of Israel
2. Nehemiah, the politician and royal cupbearer who initiated the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem and stood tall with God's favor
3. Jaazaniah, meant one whom God hears, but was a leader of corrupted priests
4. Azariah, Abednego's old name, meant YHWH has helped
For a girl, we have so much trouble finding names, therefore these are actually guys in the old testament:
1. Ezra - a writer who helped with the fortification of the walls of Jerusalem and brought repentance and reformation to the nation of Israel
2. Asriel - a son of Manasseh, son of Joseph
We have yet to come up with good middle names so we're going to decide on a first name before we match them up!
What about our first two children??
Our first born, Abigail (the wise woman who became a wife of King David) is Hebrew and means "joy of her Abba Father"; Elizabeth (Mary's cousin, Jesus' Aunt once removed) is Greek for Hebrew name Elisheva "my God is my oath". We dedicated the book of Proverbs to her. She is to bring joy and glory to God in her life through wisdom, passion, and servanthood.
Our second born, Isaac (son of Abraham who calls God "his Fear") is Hebrew for "he will laugh"; James (half brother of Jesus) is English for Hebrew name Jacob "supplanter". We pray he will rejoice and bring glory to God's kingdom as he learns to become a leader. And of course we dedicated the book of James to him.
We are so excited about our third baby! Its official due date is on the 13th March and I really have no idea if it's a boy or a girl! It sometimes reminds me of how Abigail moved in my tummy, and sometimes reminds me of Isaac, but a lot of times it's just different! Pray that this baby will arrive preferably early and safely! =)
Love, the almost 5 Koo's
For a boy, we found these names:
1. Othniel, brother of Caleb who was the first judge of Israel
2. Nehemiah, the politician and royal cupbearer who initiated the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem and stood tall with God's favor
3. Jaazaniah, meant one whom God hears, but was a leader of corrupted priests
4. Azariah, Abednego's old name, meant YHWH has helped
For a girl, we have so much trouble finding names, therefore these are actually guys in the old testament:
1. Ezra - a writer who helped with the fortification of the walls of Jerusalem and brought repentance and reformation to the nation of Israel
2. Asriel - a son of Manasseh, son of Joseph
We have yet to come up with good middle names so we're going to decide on a first name before we match them up!
What about our first two children??
Our first born, Abigail (the wise woman who became a wife of King David) is Hebrew and means "joy of her Abba Father"; Elizabeth (Mary's cousin, Jesus' Aunt once removed) is Greek for Hebrew name Elisheva "my God is my oath". We dedicated the book of Proverbs to her. She is to bring joy and glory to God in her life through wisdom, passion, and servanthood.
Our second born, Isaac (son of Abraham who calls God "his Fear") is Hebrew for "he will laugh"; James (half brother of Jesus) is English for Hebrew name Jacob "supplanter". We pray he will rejoice and bring glory to God's kingdom as he learns to become a leader. And of course we dedicated the book of James to him.
We are so excited about our third baby! Its official due date is on the 13th March and I really have no idea if it's a boy or a girl! It sometimes reminds me of how Abigail moved in my tummy, and sometimes reminds me of Isaac, but a lot of times it's just different! Pray that this baby will arrive preferably early and safely! =)
Love, the almost 5 Koo's
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
How about that
God has been sending me not just one dream but a series of dreams this time. Usually dreams of the same issue would come and go in a course of a month if I needed more than one, but apparently I needed these dreams to be within a week.
We have been praying for God to reveal our family's generational sins and for Him to help us overcome them before we pass them on to our children. Our generational sins are overwhelming and shameful. We pray God will help us overcome them and He has been gracious to reveal them and help us deal with them.
Our problems with in laws, God has revealed is not a sin but a trigger to something bigger. Marital problems. In law problems have been a passed down trigger and insecurity by generations. Every time I deal with fear or insecurity triggered by in law problems, there's dissension, division, and distrust between my hubby and I. It is something that the enemy uses to cause our families to disintegrate. In other words, if I want a wholesome marriage, we need to resolve in-law conflicts. There are tons of other generational sins like lust, malice, dishonesty, alcoholism, greed and gluttony etc. With God in this I believe we will overcome.
So with FOCA coming up on the 21-22 Jan, I still don't get it. This law will FORCE ALL hospitals to perform abortion! People should get their choices, yes, but what about these people who chose to open Catholic, Methodist, Christian hospitals and work in them because that's what they believe in?!?!?!? Shouldn't they get to choose? There's so many other clinics, hospitals, doctors, who would perform abortions for blood money! Why go to a place and why force a place with religious convictions to perform the murder of babies?!?! That's just so wrong. AND, don't even get me started with the so called "fairness doctrine". This doctrine will again FORCE radio and TV stations with religious and conservative convictions to broadcast the equal amount of liberal political messages!!! So if we broadcast Focus on the family for one hour, we will have to hear Nancy Pelosi preach for another hour or something! This is just ridiculous. That's why we have over thousands of channels to choose from!! So we can hear and watch what we CHOOSE to hear and watch. That's like saying if we broadcast Veggietales in English for one hour, we'd have to broadcast Veggietales in Spanish for the next hour!!!!! ARGH!!!! Then, there's the ENDA. A cunning tool to get everyone who stands by their beliefs fired, sued, and jailed.
God I am so perplexed at the world. I am homesick! I'd rather be "absent in the body and present with the Lord." Let us see some light in the darkness. God, let Your will be done. No matter what happens, You are still sovereign and in control. Give us patience and perseverance. Help us raise up a generation who will overcome and be courageous. Let our children and our children's chidlren be set apart and give them Your passion for Your people. Guide me to become the wise woman that You want me to be. I continue to ask for mentors, other wise women, and accountability partners in my life that You will speak through and teach me. Humble me and strengthen me. Help me love through Your Son. Help me see through Your eyes. AMEN.
More Info:
FOCA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_of_Choice_Act
Fairness Doctrine
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairness_doctrine
ENDA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Employment_Non-Discrimination_Act
We have been praying for God to reveal our family's generational sins and for Him to help us overcome them before we pass them on to our children. Our generational sins are overwhelming and shameful. We pray God will help us overcome them and He has been gracious to reveal them and help us deal with them.
Our problems with in laws, God has revealed is not a sin but a trigger to something bigger. Marital problems. In law problems have been a passed down trigger and insecurity by generations. Every time I deal with fear or insecurity triggered by in law problems, there's dissension, division, and distrust between my hubby and I. It is something that the enemy uses to cause our families to disintegrate. In other words, if I want a wholesome marriage, we need to resolve in-law conflicts. There are tons of other generational sins like lust, malice, dishonesty, alcoholism, greed and gluttony etc. With God in this I believe we will overcome.
So with FOCA coming up on the 21-22 Jan, I still don't get it. This law will FORCE ALL hospitals to perform abortion! People should get their choices, yes, but what about these people who chose to open Catholic, Methodist, Christian hospitals and work in them because that's what they believe in?!?!?!? Shouldn't they get to choose? There's so many other clinics, hospitals, doctors, who would perform abortions for blood money! Why go to a place and why force a place with religious convictions to perform the murder of babies?!?! That's just so wrong. AND, don't even get me started with the so called "fairness doctrine". This doctrine will again FORCE radio and TV stations with religious and conservative convictions to broadcast the equal amount of liberal political messages!!! So if we broadcast Focus on the family for one hour, we will have to hear Nancy Pelosi preach for another hour or something! This is just ridiculous. That's why we have over thousands of channels to choose from!! So we can hear and watch what we CHOOSE to hear and watch. That's like saying if we broadcast Veggietales in English for one hour, we'd have to broadcast Veggietales in Spanish for the next hour!!!!! ARGH!!!! Then, there's the ENDA. A cunning tool to get everyone who stands by their beliefs fired, sued, and jailed.
God I am so perplexed at the world. I am homesick! I'd rather be "absent in the body and present with the Lord." Let us see some light in the darkness. God, let Your will be done. No matter what happens, You are still sovereign and in control. Give us patience and perseverance. Help us raise up a generation who will overcome and be courageous. Let our children and our children's chidlren be set apart and give them Your passion for Your people. Guide me to become the wise woman that You want me to be. I continue to ask for mentors, other wise women, and accountability partners in my life that You will speak through and teach me. Humble me and strengthen me. Help me love through Your Son. Help me see through Your eyes. AMEN.
More Info:
FOCA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_of_Choice_Act
Fairness Doctrine
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairness_doctrine
ENDA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Employment_Non-Discrimination_Act
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Thought I'd blog before 2009
So I've finally decided the reason behind my huge pregnancy belly is due to my already stretched out uterus. I am in my 3rd trimester and the baby is still moving like it has a lot of room! It is supposed to feel a bit constricted by now but it isn't. So either I am having a small baby, which I would really really appreciate but doubt we ever will, or my uterus is just extra large!
Anyway, it's been very nice having Phill around for 2 weeks. The kids love him and I have slept in so many days!!! My husband is the best and most godly man I have ever met. He is not perfect and has made many many mistakes but he is humble and willing to do anything to be in God's will. He is quite forgetful but sensitive and diligent. He tries hard and works hard. I know God has great plans for him and our family. Phill and I are both under transformation by God all the time and it's okay. We are in it together and that's what's keeps us so transparent and intimate with each other.
For Christmas, we bombarded our children with the birth of Christ. Books, programs, CDs, DVDs, .. you name it we did it. Abigail has so much excitement about Jesus and His birth. She loves to talk about the angel Gabriel, Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. She talks about the name Immanuel - God with us and loves how the shepherds and magis were excited about Jesus when they worshiped Him. Our hearts fill with passion and excitement to see how God is filling her with His love and His word. The Lord definitely has shown us that His words never return void when we are faithful to keep Him in our lives. We cooked and ate with some random homeless people down McCart Ave. on Christmas day. I have never done that before and even though I was compassionate and wanted to love them, I didn't really know how to do it. I just watched Phill do it and fed my children. They spoke mostly broken Spanglish and were drunk or drugged. They were extremely hungry and had lots of needs. I explained to Abigail that we needed to show them love because God showed us love and that we were to love them as Jesus has loved us because they don't have Jesus like us. Both Abigail and Isaac were very friendly with the homeless and gave them 5's and ate well. I am allergic to smoke so every time someone came up to talk I had to hold my breath as long as I could. I felt more comfortable with the homeless women. I never feel comfortable when any strange man, homeless or not, decide to talk to me. We feel that the Lord has provided a way for us to love and serve these homeless people. We heard so many street living rules, games and things you have to do to get money stories, they even have homeless gangs. We didn't want our family traditions to be about presents, big holiday meals, and meaningless prayers around the table. We wanted Jesus in all of it.
Lord, You are awesome. You have given us what we need and shown us great mercy. Continue to provide for us and for us to serve others. Help us give when we seemingly can't anymore. Guide us in Your ways and give us the love to love people who we can't love. Do miracles in our lives and let us shine before others for You. AMEN.
Anyway, it's been very nice having Phill around for 2 weeks. The kids love him and I have slept in so many days!!! My husband is the best and most godly man I have ever met. He is not perfect and has made many many mistakes but he is humble and willing to do anything to be in God's will. He is quite forgetful but sensitive and diligent. He tries hard and works hard. I know God has great plans for him and our family. Phill and I are both under transformation by God all the time and it's okay. We are in it together and that's what's keeps us so transparent and intimate with each other.
For Christmas, we bombarded our children with the birth of Christ. Books, programs, CDs, DVDs, .. you name it we did it. Abigail has so much excitement about Jesus and His birth. She loves to talk about the angel Gabriel, Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. She talks about the name Immanuel - God with us and loves how the shepherds and magis were excited about Jesus when they worshiped Him. Our hearts fill with passion and excitement to see how God is filling her with His love and His word. The Lord definitely has shown us that His words never return void when we are faithful to keep Him in our lives. We cooked and ate with some random homeless people down McCart Ave. on Christmas day. I have never done that before and even though I was compassionate and wanted to love them, I didn't really know how to do it. I just watched Phill do it and fed my children. They spoke mostly broken Spanglish and were drunk or drugged. They were extremely hungry and had lots of needs. I explained to Abigail that we needed to show them love because God showed us love and that we were to love them as Jesus has loved us because they don't have Jesus like us. Both Abigail and Isaac were very friendly with the homeless and gave them 5's and ate well. I am allergic to smoke so every time someone came up to talk I had to hold my breath as long as I could. I felt more comfortable with the homeless women. I never feel comfortable when any strange man, homeless or not, decide to talk to me. We feel that the Lord has provided a way for us to love and serve these homeless people. We heard so many street living rules, games and things you have to do to get money stories, they even have homeless gangs. We didn't want our family traditions to be about presents, big holiday meals, and meaningless prayers around the table. We wanted Jesus in all of it.
Lord, You are awesome. You have given us what we need and shown us great mercy. Continue to provide for us and for us to serve others. Help us give when we seemingly can't anymore. Guide us in Your ways and give us the love to love people who we can't love. Do miracles in our lives and let us shine before others for You. AMEN.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Love is tough
So before I blog about love, I wanted to note down that my husband and I had "intensive fellowship" last night about political matters among other stuff that was brought up. I read a lot about politics, not as much as I want to and not as much as my hubby does, and I am a pro-life and pro traditional marriage right wing conservative. I know what I believe in and I know what God teaches and I will support only what is morally sound. I am intolerant in my beliefs and I will stand up for what is right in the sight of God. So will my husband.
Personally, I don't see it as a problem to "legalize" gay unions or abortions. Every human being has a right to make choices. Even if these things are not legalize, people will still choose to live in gay lifestyles or kill their babies. That's their own choice. Truth is, man is not sovereign, God is. A marriage covenant is only valid in the eyes of God and murder is sin. Anyway, reason why we will always vote conservative is not because we are intolerant but because there is a battle for where tax money goes. If we ever voted for someone who use tax money to kill babies, or affirm sexual immorality, or affirm homosexuality, we will be held accountable for who we let into office.
The issue that my husband did convince me of last night, was that it is fine that public schools will use tax money to advance gay agendas and safe sex and all this stuff because it is government school. That's a huge reason why he is in ministry, not paying that tax and why we will never send our kids to government schools. He had a point. Those are government schools.
The point is to get this political fight over with so we are not spending billions just for the fight. I get it.
Anyway, love is tough. I cannot love those I don't love. I realized that. I need God to transform that part of me. I am trying so hard. I am praying and getting help. Truth is, it's too hard for me. God is going to have to do a miracle in my soul and my heart. Growing up in an environment where I failed to bond with anyone had a huge part in my inability to know how to love and accept those who don't reach my "expectations". I have chosen to be a transparent person, and yet, a lot of people just don't love me either because I am weird, blunt, rude, assertive, and "intolerant". I have less than 5 people who truly love me for who I am. I don't know what's going on. I just know God has to reveal it to me. God, help me for I am nothing. You are the One who can transform me and help me because You are the only One who knows me since birth. I don't even know myself enough to help myself. I have no control over this. Please take over and cleanse me. Continue Your work in me. Make me holy and let my life glorify Your name. Help my children deal with our generational sins and give us hope to make our family line holy for You. We want a family with servants and ambassadors of Christ. We dedicate our family to You that You will do glorious things through us and our children and grandchildren. You are our God and our King. AMEN.
Deuteronomy 6:5-9
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Personally, I don't see it as a problem to "legalize" gay unions or abortions. Every human being has a right to make choices. Even if these things are not legalize, people will still choose to live in gay lifestyles or kill their babies. That's their own choice. Truth is, man is not sovereign, God is. A marriage covenant is only valid in the eyes of God and murder is sin. Anyway, reason why we will always vote conservative is not because we are intolerant but because there is a battle for where tax money goes. If we ever voted for someone who use tax money to kill babies, or affirm sexual immorality, or affirm homosexuality, we will be held accountable for who we let into office.
The issue that my husband did convince me of last night, was that it is fine that public schools will use tax money to advance gay agendas and safe sex and all this stuff because it is government school. That's a huge reason why he is in ministry, not paying that tax and why we will never send our kids to government schools. He had a point. Those are government schools.
The point is to get this political fight over with so we are not spending billions just for the fight. I get it.
Anyway, love is tough. I cannot love those I don't love. I realized that. I need God to transform that part of me. I am trying so hard. I am praying and getting help. Truth is, it's too hard for me. God is going to have to do a miracle in my soul and my heart. Growing up in an environment where I failed to bond with anyone had a huge part in my inability to know how to love and accept those who don't reach my "expectations". I have chosen to be a transparent person, and yet, a lot of people just don't love me either because I am weird, blunt, rude, assertive, and "intolerant". I have less than 5 people who truly love me for who I am. I don't know what's going on. I just know God has to reveal it to me. God, help me for I am nothing. You are the One who can transform me and help me because You are the only One who knows me since birth. I don't even know myself enough to help myself. I have no control over this. Please take over and cleanse me. Continue Your work in me. Make me holy and let my life glorify Your name. Help my children deal with our generational sins and give us hope to make our family line holy for You. We want a family with servants and ambassadors of Christ. We dedicate our family to You that You will do glorious things through us and our children and grandchildren. You are our God and our King. AMEN.
Deuteronomy 6:5-9
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
So I didn't blog in November
I know I am getting a cold. It's that achy feeling in the neck and oh yeah, the throat. I am 25 weeks pregnant according to the midwives but I still think I am 27 weeks. I have a strange feeling that this baby might come naturally. Let's see what happens. I was a little intimidated about VBAC after getting 2 babies out by knives but I have a renewed sense of courage and excitement about natural birth from God.
God thank You for Your provisions. Thank You for Your grace and mercy on this family. Thank You for Your plans. I pray for our children that You will bless them and keep them. Reveal to me my sins and shortcomings. I pray Your victory and Your control over my fears, sins, and incapabilities. Help us raise our children in Your word, Your eyes, Your guidance, Your wisdom, and Your character. We can't do it on our own. Teach them through us. Give them passion to love You and serve You. Dig deep into their hearts and cleanse them with Your righteousness. Keep them pure in their actions, thoughts, and intentions. Capture their hearts for us and through us. AMEN.
God thank You for Your provisions. Thank You for Your grace and mercy on this family. Thank You for Your plans. I pray for our children that You will bless them and keep them. Reveal to me my sins and shortcomings. I pray Your victory and Your control over my fears, sins, and incapabilities. Help us raise our children in Your word, Your eyes, Your guidance, Your wisdom, and Your character. We can't do it on our own. Teach them through us. Give them passion to love You and serve You. Dig deep into their hearts and cleanse them with Your righteousness. Keep them pure in their actions, thoughts, and intentions. Capture their hearts for us and through us. AMEN.
"On matters of style, swim with the current. On matters of principle, stand like a rock."
— President Thomas Jefferson
For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect [at peace with or loyal] toward him….
—II Chronicles 16:9 KJV
Monday, October 27, 2008
And WHAT occasion is THIS?
My husband came home from class and we came up with something that seriously made lots of sense. We hate halloween and will never capitalize it, celebrate it or let our kids give or get candies or dress up for it and we have tons of reasons for it..... But this new reason is awesome!
See, we were trying to figure out why we would disagree with others that "dressing up for halloween is harmless," and my husband asked this great question. "Why are we dressing up?" We dress up to worship God on Sundays to be respectful... we dress up to please our spouse or others to flatter them... we dress up to a graduation or party to congratulate and celebrate... we dress up to a conference or meeting to make an impression... we even dress ourselves in pyjamas for the occasion to sleep restfully. But what are we teaching our kids when we dress up on halloween? Just WHO are we honoring? Why are we dressing up?
When we dress up, decorate, do trick or treats, and go to "boo events", we are teaching our kids that SOMETHING important is going on or SOMEONE is special. Candies, decorations, and outfits, the facade of harmlessness, are just another MARKETING OF EVIL. Parenting is a spiritual battle.
Now WHY in my sane mind, would I ever open my kids and myself up to terror and fear at any "boo events"? I don't know. Growing up not being Christians, my parents let me see horror movies and I've been to the worst of all, halloween horror nights at Islands of Adventures. "Oh it's not real", "just pretend they're in underwear", "why are you such a wimp" ...... even since my childhood, I have known evil is real, and demonic forces are real. I screamed all the way through the Island of Adventures. I was 21 years old. I knew those ghosts and dead people were not real, but I felt demonic presences all around me. So, we would rather teach my kids and myself to stay away from and hate evil, than to teach them to harden their hearts to evil. We are taught by the word of God to guard our hearts and not associate with evil. And on top of it all, why would I go somewhere or do something on purpose to watch and hear my own children cry and scream in fear. That's just a bit sick to me.
PSALM37
PROVERBS 4
EPHESIANS 4
Again, parenting is a spiritual battle and with God's help, we will not falter.
As a mom, I have thought about how they'd miss the fun of dressing up. But how about dressing up on Christmas as someone on the nativity scene and serving at shelters or other places? We hate walking around seeing santas everywhere when we do not celebrate him either. Yet people complain about nativity scenes and menorahs. Why do non Christians always want Christians to be "tolerant" yet they have no tolerance for us and our beliefs?
God you are sovereign. Help us to actively engage ourselves in spiritual battle. Help us to know the schemes of our Enemy. Help our future generations to discern with God's wisdom and love with Christ's love. Help me to be sensitive and discerning. Help us spread Your love one person at a time. God help us all. AMEN.
Empty Hands held high
Such Small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight
May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to you
Chorus:
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign your name
to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You
LORD, I give my life
A Living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be your hands and feet
So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You
See, we were trying to figure out why we would disagree with others that "dressing up for halloween is harmless," and my husband asked this great question. "Why are we dressing up?" We dress up to worship God on Sundays to be respectful... we dress up to please our spouse or others to flatter them... we dress up to a graduation or party to congratulate and celebrate... we dress up to a conference or meeting to make an impression... we even dress ourselves in pyjamas for the occasion to sleep restfully. But what are we teaching our kids when we dress up on halloween? Just WHO are we honoring? Why are we dressing up?
When we dress up, decorate, do trick or treats, and go to "boo events", we are teaching our kids that SOMETHING important is going on or SOMEONE is special. Candies, decorations, and outfits, the facade of harmlessness, are just another MARKETING OF EVIL. Parenting is a spiritual battle.
Now WHY in my sane mind, would I ever open my kids and myself up to terror and fear at any "boo events"? I don't know. Growing up not being Christians, my parents let me see horror movies and I've been to the worst of all, halloween horror nights at Islands of Adventures. "Oh it's not real", "just pretend they're in underwear", "why are you such a wimp" ...... even since my childhood, I have known evil is real, and demonic forces are real. I screamed all the way through the Island of Adventures. I was 21 years old. I knew those ghosts and dead people were not real, but I felt demonic presences all around me. So, we would rather teach my kids and myself to stay away from and hate evil, than to teach them to harden their hearts to evil. We are taught by the word of God to guard our hearts and not associate with evil. And on top of it all, why would I go somewhere or do something on purpose to watch and hear my own children cry and scream in fear. That's just a bit sick to me.
PSALM37
PROVERBS 4
EPHESIANS 4
Again, parenting is a spiritual battle and with God's help, we will not falter.
As a mom, I have thought about how they'd miss the fun of dressing up. But how about dressing up on Christmas as someone on the nativity scene and serving at shelters or other places? We hate walking around seeing santas everywhere when we do not celebrate him either. Yet people complain about nativity scenes and menorahs. Why do non Christians always want Christians to be "tolerant" yet they have no tolerance for us and our beliefs?
God you are sovereign. Help us to actively engage ourselves in spiritual battle. Help us to know the schemes of our Enemy. Help our future generations to discern with God's wisdom and love with Christ's love. Help me to be sensitive and discerning. Help us spread Your love one person at a time. God help us all. AMEN.
Lifesong - Casting Crowns
Empty Hands held high
Such Small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight
May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to you
Chorus:
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign your name
to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You
LORD, I give my life
A Living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be your hands and feet
So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You
Friday, October 24, 2008
Almost bald
Okay, I still have more than a head full of hair. It's just that for the past two days, the combination of horrible sleep and two sick but active toddlers (one with stomach virus and the other teething) and an apartment full of junk to clean is driving me insane! I am totally exhausted and ready to ship myself off to a deserted island for a day,... maybe just an hour. I feel bloated and huge and keep telling everyone that I am 20 months instead of 20 weeks pregnant (not on purpose), but just maybe, I really do feel that way. I have cried out to God while vacuuming and cooking, held back my anger while disciplining, forced myself to hug and kiss my children, and unhook my already extended bra to breathe. We pray for wisdom and patience Lord. Help us capture Abigail and Isaac's hearts for Your kingdom. Give us the love, kindness, and will to discipline them. God, we can't do it. We can't do any of this without Your wisdom and grace. Set them apart for Your glory Lord. AMEN.
Little boy on his knees - Cheri Keaggy
He see's me in the morning,
Lifting him out of bed.
The sun comes with little warning,
A brand new day's ahead.
To the kitchen for some breakfast,
A plate of toasted bread,
A cup of milk just as expected,
Close your eyes and bow your head.
You can thank him for anything you want to,
For the flower's and the trees
And pray,Lord Jesus, make me,
A little boy on my knees.
He's Mommy's little helper.
Learning to comb his hair.
And loves his baby sister,
Though he doesn't always share.
A quarter in the bucket,
A memory verse or two,
Although he may not know it,
He's beginning to follow you.
You can thank him for anything you want to,
For your Daddy and for me.
And pray, Lord Jesus, make me,
A little boy on my knees.
As we teach our Son to serve the Lord, in every way,
Lord the most important thing is this that we now pray,
Lord, we thank you everything you give us, but most importantly,
We pray Lord Jesus, make our Son a little boy on his knees.
Lord we thank you for everything you give us, but most importantly
We pray, Lord Jesus, make our Son,
A little boy on his knees.
We pray that someday he'll become,
A young man on his knees.
He see's me in the morning,
Lifting him out of bed.
The sun comes with little warning,
A brand new day's ahead.
To the kitchen for some breakfast,
A plate of toasted bread,
A cup of milk just as expected,
Close your eyes and bow your head.
You can thank him for anything you want to,
For the flower's and the trees
And pray,Lord Jesus, make me,
A little boy on my knees.
He's Mommy's little helper.
Learning to comb his hair.
And loves his baby sister,
Though he doesn't always share.
A quarter in the bucket,
A memory verse or two,
Although he may not know it,
He's beginning to follow you.
You can thank him for anything you want to,
For your Daddy and for me.
And pray, Lord Jesus, make me,
A little boy on my knees.
As we teach our Son to serve the Lord, in every way,
Lord the most important thing is this that we now pray,
Lord, we thank you everything you give us, but most importantly,
We pray Lord Jesus, make our Son a little boy on his knees.
Lord we thank you for everything you give us, but most importantly
We pray, Lord Jesus, make our Son,
A little boy on his knees.
We pray that someday he'll become,
A young man on his knees.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Special Guest blogger - my husband
How do you reconcile a loving God with one who punishes the sins of their fathers?
"You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments. - Exodus 20:4-6
We must understand that inherited sin brought more than generational sin. First it brought the potential to sin to the next generation, and second it brought a sense of guilt. The guilt, and potential to sin is hard to overcome. But instead of looking at the "punishment of their fathers" reconcile this to the "grace of our Father." You may think I am ignorant of the question therefore I'm changing directions, but I want to proceed and give an indirect approach.
Look at the context of Genesis 15, where God blesses Abraham by telling him he will have a child. Abraham them follows into a deep sleep, and God speaks:
"As the sun was setting, Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a thick and dreadful darkness came over him. Then the LORD said to him, "Know for certain that your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own, and they will be enslaved and mistreated four hundred years. But I will punish the nation they serve as slaves, and afterward they will come out with great possessions. You, however, will go to your fathers in peace and be buried at a good old age. In the fourth generation your descendants will come back here, for the sin of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure."
In this passage you see the sins of his generation building, but not yet reaching its full. When it is full God will punish these nations, and give Abraham's descendants the land. We will eventually see that Joshua takes the land which will be known as Canaan, a land of Promise. Recognize that this is first and foremost an example of God's grace. God's wrath and punishment is a response to a lack of repentance from the people. From this passage to the beginning of Joshua 200-400 years would have past (depending if you take the Early Date or Late Day theory of Exodus, this is another subject). God has given the people of the land 200-400 years to respond to God's call on them. He will use a patriarchal response through the likes of Isaac, Jacob, and Esau to reach all the lands stretching forth from their wanderings of Ur to the southern depths of Egypt. God in His merciful grace reached out, but ultimately as we all know the people were unresponsive, and we see godless generations that fail to see God's grace. But we do know someone responded. Her name is Rahab. She responded, and thus God used her and later fulfilled a promise through her; David her offspring, and Jesus, the son of God. This is grace (the whole world was saved!), not punishment. Now i'm not ignorant or unaware of God's wrath, but that comes to fruition in Deuteronomy 29:27-28, "Therefore the LORD's anger burned against this land, so that he brought on it all the curses written in this book. In furious anger and in great wrath the LORD uprooted them from their land and thrust them into another land, as it is now." But the people knew, and they had their opportunity to respond to His grace, but God's plan is greater than that of mans.
How do we reconcile the two? Like Erwin McManus asked us during his sermon I'll ask you the same, "Take a deep breath, now don't breathe out until you realize you need it." That's God's grace. And one day our flesh will die. This is the consequence of sin; death. God's grace is always greater than His wrath. We will have our time, and like the Israelites; are we going to respond, or be like the Canaanites who refused to breathe.
---------------------
So, how do we answer the mass killings mentioned in the Old Testament that Israel had done to many nations in the name of God. In the Hebrew text it is translated as 'chechem'. Understand this in context of what was previously written; God's grace was shown prior to God's wrath. Also understand that there was no redemption to sin. So the death of any persons in the Old Testament led to death (spiritually, and physically) until the death and resurrection of Christ. So when the sins of the nations reached their full, we see a response by God, but there was grace. But in this understand that this led to Christ's death and resurrection; his grace to man, but also God's greatest wrath towards the sinful. Where there is redemption to sin, now there lies judgment to those who do not believe. I cannot explain or understand in detail God's wrath, but He is consistent, and it's up to us in how we respond.
"You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments. - Exodus 20:4-6
We must understand that inherited sin brought more than generational sin. First it brought the potential to sin to the next generation, and second it brought a sense of guilt. The guilt, and potential to sin is hard to overcome. But instead of looking at the "punishment of their fathers" reconcile this to the "grace of our Father." You may think I am ignorant of the question therefore I'm changing directions, but I want to proceed and give an indirect approach.
Look at the context of Genesis 15, where God blesses Abraham by telling him he will have a child. Abraham them follows into a deep sleep, and God speaks:
"As the sun was setting, Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a thick and dreadful darkness came over him. Then the LORD said to him, "Know for certain that your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own, and they will be enslaved and mistreated four hundred years. But I will punish the nation they serve as slaves, and afterward they will come out with great possessions. You, however, will go to your fathers in peace and be buried at a good old age. In the fourth generation your descendants will come back here, for the sin of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure."
In this passage you see the sins of his generation building, but not yet reaching its full. When it is full God will punish these nations, and give Abraham's descendants the land. We will eventually see that Joshua takes the land which will be known as Canaan, a land of Promise. Recognize that this is first and foremost an example of God's grace. God's wrath and punishment is a response to a lack of repentance from the people. From this passage to the beginning of Joshua 200-400 years would have past (depending if you take the Early Date or Late Day theory of Exodus, this is another subject). God has given the people of the land 200-400 years to respond to God's call on them. He will use a patriarchal response through the likes of Isaac, Jacob, and Esau to reach all the lands stretching forth from their wanderings of Ur to the southern depths of Egypt. God in His merciful grace reached out, but ultimately as we all know the people were unresponsive, and we see godless generations that fail to see God's grace. But we do know someone responded. Her name is Rahab. She responded, and thus God used her and later fulfilled a promise through her; David her offspring, and Jesus, the son of God. This is grace (the whole world was saved!), not punishment. Now i'm not ignorant or unaware of God's wrath, but that comes to fruition in Deuteronomy 29:27-28, "Therefore the LORD's anger burned against this land, so that he brought on it all the curses written in this book. In furious anger and in great wrath the LORD uprooted them from their land and thrust them into another land, as it is now." But the people knew, and they had their opportunity to respond to His grace, but God's plan is greater than that of mans.
How do we reconcile the two? Like Erwin McManus asked us during his sermon I'll ask you the same, "Take a deep breath, now don't breathe out until you realize you need it." That's God's grace. And one day our flesh will die. This is the consequence of sin; death. God's grace is always greater than His wrath. We will have our time, and like the Israelites; are we going to respond, or be like the Canaanites who refused to breathe.
---------------------
So, how do we answer the mass killings mentioned in the Old Testament that Israel had done to many nations in the name of God. In the Hebrew text it is translated as 'chechem'. Understand this in context of what was previously written; God's grace was shown prior to God's wrath. Also understand that there was no redemption to sin. So the death of any persons in the Old Testament led to death (spiritually, and physically) until the death and resurrection of Christ. So when the sins of the nations reached their full, we see a response by God, but there was grace. But in this understand that this led to Christ's death and resurrection; his grace to man, but also God's greatest wrath towards the sinful. Where there is redemption to sin, now there lies judgment to those who do not believe. I cannot explain or understand in detail God's wrath, but He is consistent, and it's up to us in how we respond.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Marketing of Evil - David Kupelian
If Satan is good at anything, it's the marketing of evil. He makes sin look fine, even good. I know I have been really quiet about govt and politics since I've been pregnant, but I am still reading on everything. I have just been so exhausted to think and type what I think. God is sovereign and whatever happens, He is in control. Lord, I continue to pray that Your glory be shown in all of this mess in our world. Just like Noah, we are sealed in a convenant with You. Noah in the ark, us in Christ's blood, anyhow we are sealed. I just pray that You will continue to soften hearts and turn them to repentance. Let us not be deceived by Satan's marketing of the world and motivate us to find the truth and stand firm in it. Continue to guide our family as we walk with You. Humble my heart to allow others to teach me. Help me find women who will hold me accountable and mentor me with love. Show us each day how to win the hearts of our children to You. Your way not mine. AmEN.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Inadequate.... Left out?
Man, I feel inadequate. I have been feeling like that since Phill told me that God has finally revealed His plan to prepare his heart to pastor. Well, I feel left out from this plan!!! I mean, I have known that we have been called to full time ministry since before we were married. But what about me?! What about His plan to prepare my heart to become a wife of a pastor?!?!?! You can't just give me a title and expect I'd know what to do with it. What happened to that part?! I have so many relational problems! I am like a troubled kid with a troubled past and a troubled present... Different troubles. But still! I am inadequate. I am going to need lots and lots and lots of counseling, help, prayers, classes, healing, accountability, effort, heart, desire... lots and lots of all those things, to ever start working towards becoming a pastor's wife!!!
God, hear Your servant's desperate cry to You. Will you not show me what to do? What to pray for? Tell me how, when, where, why, who!!! Lord, I feel left out and I want in. Deal with me and mold me into someone I am not right now. Set a goal in front of me and let me see where I can run to. You are my true living God Who is able to do all things. I will rely upon You and keep asking You. Reveal Yourself to me and make it obvious to me what to do. AMEN.
God, hear Your servant's desperate cry to You. Will you not show me what to do? What to pray for? Tell me how, when, where, why, who!!! Lord, I feel left out and I want in. Deal with me and mold me into someone I am not right now. Set a goal in front of me and let me see where I can run to. You are my true living God Who is able to do all things. I will rely upon You and keep asking You. Reveal Yourself to me and make it obvious to me what to do. AMEN.
Friday, October 3, 2008
From horrendous to stupendous
God knows my every need. I was having such a bad day with my lymph node and ear, then Isaac woke up in the middle of our grocery shopping, and then even went poopy while we were getting back in the car. I had problems yesterday, and yet God showed His compassion and sovereignty through a trash can by the car and comfort by the Holy Spirit. I am learning to be a more God-centered wife, mother, and neighbor every day, and I am amazed by the ways He is transforming me each and every minute. I need Your grace God, to become the woman You want me to be. I definitely need a lot more than compassion and books to become a pastor's wife. Lord, I know this is one of the things I cannot learn on my own. Teach me, guide me, and place me with the people You know will be able to train me. God, have mercy on my family. You know our distress and our situation. Have compassion on Leo. Soften Teresa's heart. Continue to speak to Mimi and Anson. Save my parents. Help me love those who don't love me and help me want those who don't want me. Continue to convict me of my sins and demand a life of holiness in me. Set apart my children and my children's children for Your purpose. May we be used by Your will. AMEN.
Your Grace is enough Chris Tomlin
Great is Your faithfulness oh God
You wrestle with the sinner's heart
You lead us by still waters and to mercy
And nothing can keep us apart
So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise Oh God
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me
Great is Your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along
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