Another case

We are going through another case of codependent victim mindset manipulative controller backlash. No, I am not name calling. It is an actual psycho diagnosis and label. It is never fun to cross someone like that. But we have learned to give it to God. I hope we have. We have to end our kinship foster placement because of that. This will help the children's caseworkers help the family and the children in the long run because codependency is more than just depending on one another. It is a debilitating cycle that does not end. It passes on from generation to generation as one generation victimizes the next. It's better to get backlash than to allow that to go on. We were feeling all sorts of bad sending the kids on visitations, so why not feel bad while we help them and their families get professional help at the same time? We did this placement without anything in return, and we still do not expect anything in return. We just know that total surrender to God means letting the children go this time. Because if God brought them to us so we can help them, God will still be with them as our job ends here. Keeping them will be disobedience. That is all I know. Do I feel guilty? Yes. Do I feel horrible? Yes. Do I feel pain for the kids? Yes. It's terrible. It is a disgusting feeling to have to send children away. No child will ever suffer again when Jesus comes back. That's what I keep remembering. Children suffer mostly not because of their doing, but because of the sins of the adults around them. It is so sad. There is nothing I can do but to obey God. If we disobey, we jeopardize everything. We jeopardize our relationships with God, with each other, with our kids, and jeopardize our future, our ministries, and our health, mental, physical, and emotional. The unhealthiness was bleeding into our family life and it was not good. I am really glad and thankful God allowed me to experience the other case years ago so we know how to deal with this healthily. Our priority is still to God and to our family. I am sorry the foster kids have to suffer. All kids and adults suffer because this is a sinful world. We all are damaged goods that need Jesus. We are just damaged in different ways. Sin is our common enemy. Not one another.

All to Jesus I surrender, I surrender All

Isaac asked why Jesus gives us circumstances He knows we don't want to be in and work He knows we don't want to do. I cheated and sang "I surrender all" to him. Over a year ago, I asked our Father to show me what "surrender all" actually means. What this "All" is... It's been over a year and He has only shown me the tip of the iceberg. I certainly didn't expect it to bleed into my children's lives either. 

Surrendering is a coin. It has two sides. 

One side is like flying a white flag during battle. Hey I am surrendering cuz you overpower me. I'm ok with it because I am choosing to surrender. Hope you don't kill me after I surrender or take me prisoner.

The other side is like Elijah. Hey I am a fleeing prophet cuz you are my King and you chose me to do this job. If I were to choose, I'd live in the palace with food and drink. I would have been so happy. But you got to choose and I didn't get to choose. You chose me and now I choose to surrender everything I am to do what you chose for me to do and what life you chose for me to live. I don't like being chased by these evil people but I must continue to run from them. I don't like having to be isolated from the other prophets and live in the desert even though you are feeding me and providing a stream of water during a famine and drought. I don't like having to keep reaching out and helping people who reject you. I don't like being depressed and hurting even though You comfort me and sustain me. It is really cool to see You beat the prophets of Baal at Mount Carmel. And it's really awesome to know rain was coming while no one else did. We do really cool stuff together. You are a good God and I hate having to go through this hard stuff but You shall choose for me what I should do. You shall choose for me where I live. You shall choose for me whom I serve. You shall choose for me. I surrender my right to choose for myself.

God is not my enemy. I am not flying a white flag. I guess I am Elijah then. Learning this lesson has not been fun but it has been adventurous. It has been the most emotional, spiritually exhausting, frustrating, and difficult growing pain ever.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to an Unbelievable Daddy and Husband.

You are the head and heart of this family. We just wanted to make you laugh. Hope you enjoyed it. We love you so much.

Yes you should be enraged

Babies are humans. There is never a reason good enough to kill an innocent defenseless human being. 

I couldn't run, couldn't run from His presence

More of you, Less of me, Make me who I'm meant to be

Where will you go, child? To where will you run?

WOW

Cow milk and Hormones

This article is interesting. Research done at Harvard. It's very preliminary.

The Cross has made me flawless

Persevere, Christian Soldiers

Philippians Chapter1

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.

30 days to overturn

“If… I ever joined an opinion for the Court that began, ‘The Constitution promises liberty to all within its reach, a liberty that includes certain specific rights that allow persons, within a lawful realm, to define and express their identity,’ I would hide my head in a bag. The Supreme Court of the United States has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning of John Marshall and Joseph Story to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie.”

— Justice Antonin Scalia, in his dissent of the marriage ruling

for King and Country Shoulders

Before today, we had the freedom to disagree with the world and believe what God said of sexual immorality. Today, that changed. We no longer have the freedom to.

No matter what, God is our country, our peace, and our King. He is for us, for our sanctification, for our good just as we are for Him, for His statutes, and in His service. LORD God, please have mercy on us.

Historic moment for America? Over flags..............

I don't understand why everyone is making a huge deal about THE flag. Granted, I am from Asia but if the media and general public started to do the same with the Christian flag, or the LGBT flag, or the Jewish flag, or the Islamic flag, how would you respond? It is not about flags, it is about the freedom to fly any flag... Here is another moment in history to redefine tolerance for America and we are bowing down to opinions instead of upholding liberty. America is becoming more and more like my communist home.

Welcome home Daddy!

It's been 2 weeks and today is the slowest day of forever because we are waiting for you to come home! Here's what we did while we were waiting....







Practice video

MIA again......

SO much has been happening. I have sorta returned to a hand written journal, and waking at 6a. I am currently reading Elise Fitzpatrick's Overcoming fears, worries, and anxiety. I am about half way. The book has been very helpful. I am right now listening to Tchaikovsky again and I found an interesting and unique interpretation. I think I like it LOL. I admire how passionate Pogorelich is and find his fortissimo to be invigorating. He is his own musician, a modern Beethoven. Anyway, back to life. I'll be back.

Missing in Action

Wow I cannot believe how long I have been M.I.A! My computer keeled over and we just didn't fix it for almost a year. Ha! I guess I didn't really need it that much. Lots have happened since 2013. I sort of listed what has happened where I posted my new songs. The Lord gave me 3 songs in India and I have just finished recording all of them. I had a hard time recording 2 of those because I wanted them perfect. I put them down for 3 months when I got frustrated. I only uploaded 2 tonight. I will upload my 3rd tomorrow.

"I know I have been M.I.A. for almost a year. The computer keeled over one night a year ago and we didn't get it fixed till the beginning for this summer. It was a good time. The Lord called me on a trip, Abigail was baptized in November, adopted a dog, God spoke to my husband about adopting while I was in India, He used me to tell the gospel at my job, Esther accepted Christ one night in April, Isaac learned how to glorify God in his gymnastics meets, Phil took an interim pastor position, got promoted at the seminary, etc etc etc... No, the Lord has not stopped teaching me and I have not stopped learning! ..."

Anyway, check them out right here:

http://www.akouwtheos-singloud.blogspot.com/

I wanna hold your hand

Did you know that otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't float away from one another?

I did not either! My sweet husband sent me this today because we sometimes hold hands to fall asleep at night.

This also reminded me how much I should want to hold on to Christ, that even as I put my head down on a pillow, I should grab onto Him and say "I don't want to drift apart from You." Every day, as I go about my business and my busyness, I still want Him to hold onto me and not let me drift apart from Him. This is how sweet my Savior is.

LORD, I wanna hold Your hand. I want to be close to You and follow You. AMEN.

Lessons of surrender

As a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, there is one difficult thing (out of many) I have committed myself to grow in and apply in my life continuously. When I was saved a decade ago, I surrendered myself unto Christ in my car, in a parking lot. I did not know I was surrendering, but, I remember raising a white flag, screaming "This is it! I want this to be over! Take over, Jesus, I am at the end of myself!" When I think of that moment in my life, words like depressing, heart wrenching, hopeless, come in mind.

And yet, that moment was followed immediately by the words, Overwhelming Awe, Inexpressible Joy, Unfathomable Grace, and Unconditional Love. A life of healing and new hope had finally begun for me... miraculously... supernaturally.

Do you have a story, a testimony similar to mine? A moment where Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, swept you off your feet and claim you as His own when you were collapsing into a sea of deeper sorrow? Are you still walking close to the Lord today?

For those who believe this is some stage or phase people like us go through....

10 years later, He has not forsaken me. 10 years after that awful and awesome moment, I can testify the Bible is filled with the promises and love letters from God. He is the one true and living God who has been personally ministering to me, providing for me, teaching me, challenging me, testing me, walking with me, encouraging me, disciplining me, and empowering me. 

Through endless life experiences of joy, miracles, fulfillment, harvest, grief, disappointment, rejection, mockery, etc, the true art of surrendering is learned, relearned, applied, and reapplied, till I am again, close to Him as He tells me, "That's it. You got it. Keep coming." 

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Without the understanding of true surrender, I would never have understood the direct connection between suffering and healing, struggles and victory, slavery and freedom. In the dictionary, the word "surrender" simply means to yield yourself over  In Christian terms, we forgo the desires, control, and ownership of ourselves to a living and loving God. So many of us forget, that as we forgo all these things, the Holy Spirit is meant to take over completely, and therefore, conforming us to the image of Christ, the epitome of suffering and healing!  

When we think of the word "suffering", the adjective "bad" always pops up in our mind. It is only normal. I, on the other hand, would like to prove and persuade anyone who is willing to seek this matter with me, that the word "suffering" needs to be understood and perceived as "good". Not as in enjoyable, but as in a character of God.


Jump to Romans 5:1-5 where in verse 3, the word "suffering" was used twice. In Greek, it was actually the word Thlipsis, which means tribulation and persecution. This sounds much more physical than Harmozo. The author stated that the Christians glory, kauchaomai, boasted, in their "suffering" and that this "suffering" produced perseverance. Sounds again like "suffering" is good! Why would "suffering" be producing a fruit of the Spirit, and why else would they boast in it?


Romans 8:13-39 is another great passage. It speaks of a "suffering" that joins Christ and us in verse 17, and a "suffering" that is endured in verse 18. Sumpaschó in verse 17, simply means suffer together. If we suffer together with Christ, we prove we are actually in His legacy, and when we do so, we also share in His glory. Umm, again, good! This next word in verse 18, pathéma, is a strong term. This suffering is a passion, a zeal, an agony that comes from within. This suffering comes from knowing Christ and wanting to be purged of sin. This kind of "suffering", as stated by the author, leads to a glory that has no comparison, and that glory would be revealed in us because of this "suffering". GOOD!

Now, read Acts 5:25-42 and pay special attention to verse 41.  The Greek word, Harmozo, was used in verse 41 as the verb "to suffer".  "Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name." Harmozo means betrothed, to fit in, to join oneself in.  These apostles rejoiced  and were counted worthy because now that they had been persecuted, they were now dishonored with Christ! And, it was good. Why else were they rejoicing and counted as worthy?

There are so many more evidence in the rest of the Bible, that "suffering" indeed is good because it brings us closer to the Goal, the Perfecter of our faith, our Savior. Apart from our desire to be like Him, our suffering would be met with hostility and anger, perceived as pointless, and wasted! Let us surrender every day fully unto Jesus, the one who suffered for us and reconciled us with His Father. Learn to fall apart spiritually instead of physically! Put your hands up and put down the things you are holding on to. Get on your knees and beg for His Spirit to turn your heart into flesh. Grieve, be in agony, mourn until He shows you how to heal. 

1. Read James 1:5-27 Seek to be humble and ask Him to open your eyes to displeasing impurities you are holding onto

2. Read James 2:1-13 Examine your thoughts and motives for everything you do. Get rid of things in your schedule you know are taking your focus from the Lord.

3. Read James 3 Are you a teacher? Reign your tongue! Do not allow human wisdom to take over your brain, but allow God's wisdom from the bible take over all of your body. Pursue righteousness.

4. Read James 4 Surrender! Grieve and mourn for yourself. Put down everything that is not godly today and run towards godliness. 

5. Read James 5 Surrender not just to God but to one another. Confess your sins and ask for healing. Healing cannot happen if there is no understanding or confession. 

LORD Jesus, allow me to gain in my suffering! Teach me to draw close to You as You continue to teach me to live more abundantly. May Your Spirit abide in me and stir up a thirst in zeal, passion, and understanding. Without You, I am nothing. AMEN.

Kings and Queens

Just say Jesus

A lengthy memo from the other side of the fence

So, what is this about?

It started with an intense fellowship (a godly euphemism for a productive fight) we had three weeks ago on our date night. What is the big deal? Well, this was my complaint.

Honey, you are helping too much around the house.

I understand some of you do not struggle with homemaking, chores, or asking for your husbands' help. If you are one of these people, you don't need to read this blog... (unless you are curious). If you are, you are welcome to read on. And, let this be on the record, that this has nothing to do with the training of our children. Our children have to do their share of dishes, laundry, floors, vacuum etc. It is not about becoming your children's slave.

Phill is a sweet man. He grew up a chef's son and literally lived in a restaurant growing up for a few years because there was no money for a house. Having grown up in Hong Kong, I had Philippino maids who practically raised me and I had no idea how to cook, do laundry, clean, or make my bed. For the first year, he gained so much weight from eating out often and my occasional baked chicken with spaghetti and veggies. We were both working because, honestly, living in Miami drowned us financially, and I never had the time or energy to read or learn or seek godly counsel about this area. The LORD knew this had to change. We knew our life had to change. We were miserable.

I will never forget that season of our lives. If you are a follower of Christ, you know what I am talking about. The seasons when God's hands are apparent in our lives. They are spectacular. This season was one of them. Moving to Texas was the best thing that happened to our marriage and family in every single way. The move challenged us to lay everything down to be sharpened by Him. Phill, throughout these years in seminary, has grown exceedingly out of my wildest dreams as a godly man. We knew since the beginning of our marriage we desire to homeschool our children, so when we moved, we agreed Phill would become the only source of income for the family. In the first few years in seminary, we lived in an apartment. I was determined to learn to cook, bake, sew, throw dinner parties, organize, clean the fridge, etc etc. you name it. I read many books on biblical womanhood and books based on "proverbs 31". How many books do you have on those topics? ;)

Then, to be honest, I became discouraged after a couple of years. I am a musician, a teacher,... I am not gifted in hospitality or housework. My efforts did not changed who I am, it only made me do these things in spurts because I felt bad not being the housekeeper I needed to be for my family. When we moved to an actual house, I thought, now, I could throw more parties. Maybe, now, I will cook more often with this full size gas stove. The opposite happened, I gave up. Phill is so much better at cooking and doing dishes, I just let him do it all when we have company over. If I were not at the stove when he comes home, he just fires up the stove and cooks dinner. I loved it. I was happy about it for a couple of years. He never complains because he loves to cook, and, he always tells me he loves to spoils me. How did he train for triathlons, preach itinerantly , spend time with our children, and graduate from his masters? I don't know. But, he did. So? what is the problem?

I am glad you asked. Here it is.

A memo from the other side of the fence

The more my husband helped me with my role, the less happy and fulfilled I was. 

I was convicted about giving up my opportunities to become the wife described in God's Word! Before this blog gets thrown out the window... Hear me out here, ladies. This was what our intense fellowship was about. In the two years that I had his help, I was not getting better at being a home manager. My goal as a woman was getting a bit fuzzy and my heart was wandering to busy myself with things I was not called to do. I was taking Phill for granted because of the way he grew up, he had no expectations for me as a wife. Obviously, we had to discuss this issue, understanding that he has to have some sort of expectation to the role of a godly wife, and not to be afraid to list them to me just because he does not want to be disappointed.

I desire with my whole heart to be the woman God calls me to be. Don't you all?

Titus 2 is clear. THIS is sound doctrine, (v.1) that we, as women, need to be "reverent in the way we live" (v.3). Reverent, according to Merriam-Webster dictionary, can be defined in two essence: reverent as in respectable; or, reverent as in worshipful. I believe we need to be both respectable and worshipful in the way we live. I want my life to be a song, written to glorify our LORD. How?

Verse 3b, we are "not to be slanderers or addicted to wine, but to teach what is good." Let's break this down. First, we are not to say anything we don't want to be held accountable for or judged for. Romans 2:16 You know when there is an ant hill near you when you see a trail of ants. You can always trace these ants back to their habitat. When people slander, they are like an ant hill, sending out ants, leaving trails everywhere for everyone to see, examine, poke at. What happens to these ants and the colony when they are found out? Let's just say they get into the defensive mode quickly and then get annihilated. 

Second, as believers, we live in a world where alcohol is not a big deal. What does God's Word say? Let me quote just this one, because this makes too much sense. "Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish! Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more." Prov 31:6,7 We, as believing, godly women who seek the LORD, do not need to drink. Our mind need to be sound and alert at all times because the Enemy is always around. 1 Pet. 5:8

Last one... This is always tricky. What is "good", exactly? I believe Phill, in his latest sermon nailed it. He demonstrated in Amos 5:14-15 that when we seek goodness, we find God. He is not just a good God but He encompasses goodness Himself. Goodness does not contain even a speck of evil in it: a Christ-seeking heart without evil intent, evil thought, evil eye, evil speech etc. And... "teach what is good", so that, as women, we can teach younger women, and be the younger women who are "urge[d] to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled, to be busy at home, to be kind, and be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the Word of God." (Titus 2:4,5) Lord Jesus, I don't want anyone to malign Your word and Your reputation because of me. Teach me to focus on You as You continue to mold me into the woman of Your Word. I want to live the role You have gifted me with so I can be a blessing to my family.

So, since our intense fellowship.... I started making a checklist of things I need him to do around the house on a dry erase board. Anything not on the list? My job. Do I always shine my sink before I sleep? No. Maybe 60% of the time. Do I cook every day? No. Maybe 80% of the time. But Phill leaves everything up to me to give me a chance to improve as a wife and I feel great! I can fail any expectation but the Lord does not see that. God sees me as a gal who is striving to be a woman of His Word.

From a living example who has been on the other side of the fence: 

Next time, when you get frustrated and start to gripe about needing your husband's help for household chores, remember this: it is okay. It is okay things do not look perfectly perfect. This is your training ground as a woman of God who does battle with the World, its Prince, and its dominions, a training ground for your children to see that the most important thing in your life is that you are striving to become the woman He desires for you to be. He does not see the messy rooms, the dirty sink, the disorganized pantry, or the muddy floors. Don't so easily give that up for any man's help. Our LORD your God sees a Proverbs 31 woman in the making. :-)

Glory to the One Who save my soul

This week has been just an explosion of JOY for me. The resurrection of Christ certainly is one of the most debated topics. I have been on both sides.

The most painful experience I had was realizing that I had been wrong. To read and understand that God's Word described me to the Tee as an unbeliever and admitting to Him that I was indeed that way was shameful. But this pain, this agony, brought me onto my knees to receive a gift called grace. Grace is a gift that I did not expect and deserve. My old life, now renewed by His grace, is a life I never imagined for myself.

How does a person go from being depressed and beaten to joyful and victorious even in suffering? One word. Hope. Not just hope in a president, or hope in a relationship, or hope in new life, etc... but hope beyond death. I used to curl up in my bed with no more tears to sob at the age of 8. I felt lonely, hollow, meaningless, purposeless.... everything I did was just going into the air, so why try to live well? I gave up. I had no accountability. No one could hold me down. I rebelled and no one could stop me. I suffered many bad consequences from my bad choices. These bad consequences led me right to the bottom and I couldn't do it any longer. But the LORD was so good to me that He reached down to me when I thought I was done for. He reached down to me and touched my soul. He healed me and gave me a taste of what it would be like to be with Him. He opened my eyes to His Word and Work. Since that day, I have lived my life knowing that He has got my back no matter what. Do I still struggle? Oh yes. But I struggle with Him and wrestle with Him as I deal with my sinful nature. Just as He had suffered, I will suffer. I am willing to bear His legacy and testimony of suffering till He makes me perfect. Without suffering and struggles, my spiritual would be stagnant. Who wants that?

For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task? Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God.2 Cor 2:15-17

" There is nothing left to fear, nothing Heaven knows. For He died for us to give us life and to give us hope, He rose." Easter Carol, Veggietales

If you don't know just how much God loves you, take it from an ex atheist/buddhist/new ager/... you need to find out. He loves you and He wants you to have peace.. peace with death, peace with life, peace with Him.

My Father, who am I that You pay attention to? I know Your hands are upon my family for I have seen Your faithfulness and Your marvelous work in us. You have been orchestrating everything around us these days and I am grateful to see Your favor. Hold me close to You. Awake my soul to sing praises to You. Blessed be Your name as You demonstrate great power and miracles in our lives. You are an awesome God. Thank You for filling me with such joy I haven't felt in months. Thank You for Your grace and assurance. Thank You that You have never forsaken me or left me during my struggles. Glory to You, my God, for You are the One who saved my soul from the depths. Continue to mature me in my walk with You oh LORD. Jesus You are the One, the Way, the Truth, the Life. You are alive and no one can keep You from accomplishing Your will. Bless this family with Your Spirit as we continue to give ourselves to You. Holy is Your name, AMEN.

The Lord says STAY PUT

God said to me this morning as I studied Nehemiah, "Do not be afraid, stay put! This is your husband's season of blessing after years of struggle and hard work, and the Enemy is here to steal, kill, and destroy." That stilled my heart today and gave me courage. I can't wait to count His blessings. He is true, He cannot lie, all will see and praise Him.

Do you know who Tobiah and Sanballat were? They were big bullies. They were not just inexperienced bullies who used force but high class bullies who employed manipulation and psychology. They would be classified in psychology books as manipulative controllers. They feasted on weak minds and watched for people they could control to enlarge their territory. Sounds sick, huh? If you haven't yet read the book of Nehemiah, start reading it and don't put it down till you have read it all. Fascinating book. When King Nebuchadnezzar came to take the Israelites captive according to God's prophecy, Israel was already split into two kingdoms due to taxation issues. Northern Kingdom, completely destroyed by the Assyrians was never to recover, and the Southern Kingdom, Judah, was taken captive for many years till... well... on and off till the United Nations voted in 1947 to split Palestine into two. The remnant now lives in modern day Israel, which many Islamic nations still deny its existence. (Maps you get in the Middle East says Palestine, not Israel. This is first hand information, I know because I have been to the Middle East.)

In 2 Chron 36:11-23, Ezra gave us a brief summary of what had gone down with Judah. This is imperative because the people of God had once again turned away and He allowed a gentile King to take His people captive for 70 years so prophecy can be fulfilled. About 200 years before Judah was taken captive, the beloved prophets Isaiah and Daniel both spoke of King Cyrus who God had promised to deliver His people from captive. Ezra continued his book from 2 Chron 36:22 because 70 years passed and Cyrus came into history. How amazing is this?

Ezra watched and recorded this piece of history as Persian Kings Cyrus, Xerxes (Queen Esther's husband), Darius (Daniel's Darius the Mede), and Artaxerxes (Queen Esther's stepson, Nehemiah's King),  assisted Israel in the rebuilding of its nation under the hand of our God. Ezra retold the restoring of the nation as Zerubabbel led a remnant (including  Nehemiah, Mordecai, and Zechariah  Ezra2:2, Nehemiah 7:7, Zechariah) back to Israel by Cyrus' decree to rebuild their homes and temple. In chapter 7:1-6, Ezra the priest, came into the story with a bang! as the LORD granted favor on him through King Artaxerxes. Ezra led the nation through a spiritual revival as he fasted, prayed, wept, admonished the people, opened the Book of the Law, read, and started a revolution.

Sounds like to me Nehemiah went to Judah and back a few times. He was named on the record with Zerubabbel (Ezra 2:2 and Nehemiah 7:7) in 538BC. Problem here I have is that this Nehemiah returned under King Artaxerxes in 445BC. That's almost 100 years in between. So, I think it is safe to say this Nehemiah is not the same Nehemiah in Zerubabbel's group. Unless he went as a child. Which is possible since his brothers were  in Judah. Who knows? Anyway, Nehemiah and Ezra were in Judah at the same time. While Ezra started a spiritual revival, Nehemiah led the people in rebuilding the wall and gates. 

No question, God orchestrated these godly men, families, and ungodly kingdoms to deliver His remnant. Amazing. They were appointed there "at a time such as this". All this came from studying Nehemiah. What can I say? I am always curious.

Ezra and Nehemiah faced lots of opposition but they were so confident because they knew the Lord's hand was upon them. As I studied Nehemiah, 6:11-13 really spoke to me. Tobiah and Sanballat had used every trick in their book, from intimidation, threats, ultimatums, outbursts of anger, sweet coercion, bribery, spying, you name it, to stop the work of God. Nehemiah saw through every single tactic to avoid sinning against his people and the Lord. His heart and motive was pure. All he wanted was for the Lord to finish His work through him. He stopped at nothing. I admired how his mind, soul, and strength were always focused on God at all times. 

Have you pulled out Nehemiah 6 yet? Are you curious? Nehemiah 6:11-13:

But I said, “Should a man like me run away? Or should someone like me go into the temple to save his life? I will not go!” I realized that God had not sent him, but that he had prophesied against me because Tobiah and Sanballat had hired him. He had been hired to intimidate me so that I would commit a sin by doing this, and then they would give me a bad name to discredit me. Remember Tobiah and Sanballat, my God, because of what they have done; remember also the prophet Noadiah and how she and the rest of the prophets have been trying to intimidate me. So the wall was completed on the twenty-fifth of Elul, in fifty-two days. When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God.

Before God taught me a lesson of boundaries, I had failed to put up and enforce boundaries that protected me and my family. The Lord has used this to teach me to set good boundaries, but I can say, I am still in the process of healing from one of my violated boundaries. In general, as boundaries are being set, there are only two reactions toward them. Acceptance or rejection. The last chapters of the book are really great at explaining why and what kinds of people accept and reject them. I recommend buying this book and reading it in detail. Long story short, every boundary I set was accepted except for one. My biblical counselor has advised me to stay away and heal but my situation is currently like Nehemiah's. Opposition will not end even after rebuilding is complete. But he put strict boundaries and knew how to face opposition with tact, truth, and strength. Lord, I don't feel like a Nehemiah. I am glad I wasn't put to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. I am here to rebuild my fence. I know, God, but my legs want to run away. Everything happens for my good. I will choose to trust You continually as my Shield, my Strength, my Defender. I know You love me and that I am hidden in You. Teach me what to do when malice is done and said about Your daughter. Be my refuge and let her face bury into Your hiding place. Instead of running away from tough situations, strengthen me so I may run toward You and keep myself pure from all evil. Take my thoughts and my heart captive as You bring me healing. I am sorry I didn't learn this lesson faster. Now I ask for Your blessing on my fence. Thank You for not letting me go. Thank You that You have been with me through all of this. You are a great God who never fails me. There is none other like You. I love being close to You, my Father. How lovely is this dwelling place. I do not want to be anywhere else. Thank You Jesus for making this happen for me. AMEN.

Finally

I finally finished February's book review on Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend.

!Here it is!