Riverbend retreat!

Spiritual Warfare

I know I haven't blogged in a couple of months. So much going on! But here's the plan for Sept.

week 1, 3: do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong. for like the grass they will wither away. trust in the Lord and do good.
week 2, 4: For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.
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Don't like it but engaged in it actively from the moment I believed that Jesus is Lord of my life. This is just one of my favorite books from the Bible that reminds me to be drastically different from the world and not buy in their evil schemes.

Ephesians 5

¹Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children ²and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

³But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. ⁴Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. ⁵For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.^a]">[a] ⁶Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. ⁷Therefore do not be partners with them.

⁸For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light ⁹(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) ¹⁰and find out what pleases the Lord. ¹¹Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. ¹²For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. ¹³But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, ¹⁴for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:
"Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."

¹⁵Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ¹⁷Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. ¹⁸Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. ¹⁹Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, ²⁰always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

²¹Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

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Lord, continue to give me discernment for the things You don't want me to meddle in. Continue to give me a heart of reconciliation. Continue to help me rear our children in the umbrella of Your grace. Help me stay away from the fruitless deeds of this world and give me a love for the lost continually. In Your Son's name. AMEN.

A day in Nacogdoches

Click on picture to enlarge: My kids, Donna Staten, GoTell - Rick Gage, Charlie Hall band

Dream come true

Since I've become a mommy, I have wanted to learn to sew. So last month, I sewed a little skirt for Abigail with the help of a good friend. And then I decided to hem Esther's onesie that I really liked. It was getting to tight on her. Here are the pics!









My goal in sewing is to be able to sew my children stuff for holidays and to teach my kids how to sew as they grow up.

My Father in Heaven, I thank You for the people you have put in my life. Thank You for my children and husband. Thank you for being a patient and loving God. Continue to teach my kids through teaching me and help me remember the Kingdom picture in their lives. In Jesus' name I ask this, AMEN.

month of june

wow i didn't even blog what we did in may. may was so busy. summer started and we've just been able to do so much more outdoors.

June
week 1 Titus 2:11-12 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,
week 2 same as week 1
week 3 Proverbs 1:8-9 Listen, my son, to your father's instruction, and do not forget your mother's teaching, for they will be a garland of grace on your head and a [gold] chain around your neck.
week 4 Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will navigate your path.
week 5 Provers 3:7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.

Someone recommended Dr. Leman to me two months ago, so I decided to check them out at the library. I am finishing "Have a new kid by Friday" and in the middle of "the new birth order book". I am gonna go check out the "making your kids mind without losing yours" after i finish FOTF's "guide to growing a healthy home" and "great stories remember 2". "have a new kid by Friday" is interesting. it's a well written, esay-to-read book with lots of stories and humor. Leman put into words a lot of what we have been doing in our home, which is a great affirmation for me. i have been trying to apply a couple of new things on my kids though. fun stuff. the birth order book is teaching me about why my kids r how they r and myself too since im a middle child. it helps me see pass their annoying side. hahaha.

we are going on vacation at the great wolf on the 14-17th. It will be GREAT! I can't wait!

Lord God, thank You for my family. The children You've given us are so precious and special. They are growing so fast. Help me to teach and model worship, godliness, purity, discernment, wisdom, maturity, the fruits of the Spirit, righteousness, justice, and grace for them. I pray that You will continue to reveal Yourself to each one of our children and bring them to You, oh God! Walk with them and draw them to You. Give them godly wisdom and discernment. Continue to work among this family and help us to glorify You in everything we do, eat, and drink. In Jesus' name I pray, AMEN.

I CONCUR!

Raising children = mentoring them = training them to do your job!

Parenting to raise parents

What’s your mission as a parent? Would it change if you could look back on 35 years of experience? Today on Home School Heartbeat, host Mike Farris talks about the goals of parenting—and how his understanding of them has changed over time.

Mike Farris:
My wife Vickie and I became parents in June, 1975. Our 10th child turned 13 this year. So, if you adopt the bar mitzvah view of passing from childhood to being a young man at 13, we’re finally done being parents of a “child.”

If you earned “credit” for parenting the way you calculate academic teaching credit, we would have 230 years of parenting experience. I’ve learned a lot in these years. The first lesson is this: the goal of parenting is to raise good parents.

In 1975, I thought that my goal was to raise good children. I wasn’t wrong, but it was a very incomplete description of the task.

You are mentoring your child in the literal sense. You are training them so that they can do your job. Explain what you are doing just as you would train a new worker on the job.

Both Vickie and I have inherited strengths and weaknesses from our own parents. We are responsible for what we do as parents. And to be sure, Vicki and I have changed some things from the way we were raised—homeschooling being the most dramatic example and courtship training being the second most important—but we’re clearly influenced by the way we were raised.

Parent your children in the manner you want to see your children parenting your grandchildren—and explain what you are doing. Parenting is first and foremost a teaching responsibility.

I’m Mike Farris.

God help us to make ALL parenting decisions in reverence of You. AMEN.

father and son biking

I love watching Phill and Isaac interact. My 2 year old son and my 29 year old husband have such a deep love, a strong male bond, and an unbreakable adoration for one another. Phill and I have made a conscious decision that we will love all our kids with an unconditional, grace-giving kind of love especially when they make mistakes. Our Father God, thank you for the children You have blessed us with. They are adorable, gifted, funny, crazy, and not at all perfect. We pray that You will continue to work in their lives and reveal Yourself to them as we help them seek Your face every day. Raise them up to be the Ruth, Esther, Nehemiah, Elijah, and Paul etc etc of their generation. Give us clarity of their strengths and weaknesses and teach us to teach them Your ways. In Jesus' name I pray. AMEN.

I love how Isaac says, "Daddy wait for me!"


Phill took a half day off of work for memorial day


We love our Abigail


We love our Isaac


We love our Esther

You Are My King

this guy dennis jernigan was at our church today with his pastor, jack taylor, who is a evangelist pastor. i pray one day the Lord who sings over us will give me songs like He gives him. like how the Lord granted Elisha twice the spirit that Elijah had. Lord, thank You for all you have done in my life. You are my King. Teach me to teach my kids that we serve a King in heaven. I still have a desire to write Kingdom songs. humble me and teach me. use me and speak to me. AMEN.

not into teaching fairy tales and such

so much to say since i haven't blogged for so long. but we have decided to introduce fairy tales to Abigail in ballet form. we have not introduced any fairy tales or magic to our kids. we had decided long ago to focus on God's words and truth before they are exposed to these things. kids can't tell real from fake so we didn't wanna confuse them or lie to them. this ballet from sleeping beauty is so beautiful, i had to post it. but this month, we have been listening to lots of tchaikovsky, so i think we are picking one of his ballets for Abigail to watch. oh and snow white afterward. it's CUTE!





Lord, thank you for our precious children. continue to give us wisdom in parenting. Amen.

Abigail and Jesus, Isaac and bike, Esther is one!

Abigail accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior and asked the Holy Spirit to reside in her heart this morning. Pray with us that 1. if this is genuine, that the Lord will continue His work in her heart 2. that the Holy Spirit will bring forth fruit in her 3. that the Holy Spirit will reveal His involvement in her life 4. for the Devil to be kept far far away 5. for us to have wisdom in this whole new journey of our parenting. We are just so excited for her and proud of who she is becoming.

Lord, we pray over Abigail that she will continue to be brought up as a child dedicated to You alone. Give us the strength, wisdom, and grace to guide her closer and closer to Your plans for her. Help us to focus her life on You. Lord we pray You will reveal Yourself to her every day. Speak to her and open the eyes of her heart. I pray she will honor and glorify You with her life. Help her to run away from temptation, stand firm in the battle of Truth, and fight the evil of this world. We also pray for Isaac and Esther, that one day they will also follow You and make a commitment to believe in Your plans of salvation for them. Help us to decrease so You may increase. May You be glorified in our lives. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN.

SOOOO proud of my 2 year old son, Isaac


Carnivals are so much FUN!

what we are doing for the month of april

http://scottwilder.wordpress.com/2010/03/30/easter-story-cookies-recipe/

http://blessingsforlife.com/crafts/eastertree.htm but call it Resurrection tree

http://islandgrove.ozwide.net.au/apple_sauce_kids_colour_ins.html making a mini book about the resurrection with coloring pages

Watching veggie tales: the easter carol

Watching the resurrection documentary: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p86oW5nEKGY&feature=related

Watching an artist recite her poem of easter story http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNhp9z0njNY&feature=related

Reading the different accounts in the bible and story books of the death and resurrection every night.

Interesting video about creativity

Somewhere Over the Money...

The trillion dollar obamacare is being "voted" on in congress. I am not a "republican" or a "democrat", for labels are such dangerous things. But I am a follower of my Lord Jesus Christ who saved my soul from pits of darkness and layers of fog. If there is anything that defines me, it will be words in the Bible, the infallible word of God. Lately, the main arguments I have been hearing are about the bill being ridiculously expensive VS ridiculously expensive but a need. Here are a couple of articles I have read on the contrasting views on cost:

http://www.economist.com/opinion/displaystory.cfm?story_id=15720396

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/15/AR2009111502212.html

I understand the healthcare system needs a lot of reformation and accountability. But how will a government run healthcare system be any better? Somewhere over the money though, there is so much more at stake. If the congress can pass such a huge bill without a vote from we, the people, and employ such judicial tyranny in our nation, we, the "freest" people on planet earth are just the "most deceived to be free" people on earth. And the REAL costs of obamacare? Read this.......... and This. (More on how our government has been handling our nation's resources: Bailout - a sham?)

However, I have realized insurance (basically money) is an earthly possession and insurance does not heal us from diseases. We chase after this man made program called insurance because for a lot of us, there is no hope for something ugly called death. According to the word of God, there are two deaths, one is physical death, the other, spiritual. Our souls are made to last forever. Spiritual death means eternal time-out from our Creator. But His goal, all along, was for us to have spiritual eternity with our Creator! John 3:17 says, for God did not send His Son into the world, to condemn the world, but to save the world, through Him! Whether this bill passes or not, I don't just have insurance for my physical body, I have assurance in Him for I have made peace with my Creator. So again, somewhere over the money, our souls are at stake.

Our Heavenly Father who created all things, You are a sovereign God. I thank You for Your grace and mercy. You are God, slow to anger and abounding in love. There are so many uncertainties and turmoil in this fallen world even now, I pray that You will continue to give us peace that surpasses all understanding. I pray for my family and friends who have no assurance in eternity, that You will incessantly reveal Your love and ultimate goal to reconcile with them. I ask these things in Jesus' name, AMEN.

March

Verse for week 1: God, I will hide Your words in my heart so I may not sin against You. Ps119:11
105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
55In the night I remember your name, O LORD, and I will keep your law.

week 2: 160 All your words are true; all your righteous laws are everlasting.

week 3: 9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.

week4: 30 I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws.

Lord help me get back in rhythm and balance after a whole month of sickness in the family. I pray that You may keep the kids healthy for the rest of the winter. Give us a schedule that will honor You and teach the kids Your ways first and foremost. Let me decrease so You may continue to increase. In Jesus' name I pray, AMEN.

Grace based parenting

I AM NOT GETTING IT!!! UGH. I am not getting it. God, why is it so hard?! I see my own sins in my children's lives. I hate it. Help me to love them with Your love. Help me love them even when they spit in my face and reject me, even if it is going to break my heart into millions of pieces. Help me love them with Your love.

My kids have not stolen yet but I remember the day I first stole. I attended Christ Church Kindergarten in Hong Kong. I was maybe 5. I remember those kind teachers from England. I remember the classroom. I remember one time the teacher was doing a felt board with the song "Hot cross buns" and she called me up to give her fake pennies. I remember I played with these little animal figurines every day and one day, I decided I really wanted them to come home with me. So I stole a giraffe and I think an elephant too. But definitely the giraffe. I remember the feeling of sin pounding at my door, and my heart was beating so hard. I knew what I was thinking of doing was wrong. I remember the guilt when I put it in my pocket, making sure no one saw. After that, it got gradually easier to convince myself it was ok to steal. You might even say I was a Kleptomania. One time, I stole these plastic earrings from a stuffed animal that was in a store. I waited a week to wear it and when I sat down at the restaurant table, my dad looked at me and interrogated me. When I finally told the truth, he snatched the earrings, and threw it in one of the dim sum containers. I never stole from a store again. I remember seeing the horror on his face. He was angry but also horrified. I have also come to a conclusion that Dad was horrified because he witnessed his own sin in my life.

Phill and I live under God's grace and know that we have freedom from our sins. Nevertheless, generational sins are still present and are in need to be rid of. We are so far from perfect and we know it full well. We have missed so many bible studies and for the past week, I have not spent a lot of time with the Lord, have not reflected, most of my prayers are prayers of deliverance (Lord help me deal), have not been journaling... I have been falling asleep on my calls with Jesus! I have lost sight of His grace on me and on my children. I have been more impatient, less kind, less compassionate, less gracious, distracted, and of course, my coughing has not help with my tone. ENOUGH is enough. Let's get back to the basics of this life.

I can hear my precious Jesus say, "Come talk to me. Lay down your burdens and take my yoke. For my load is not heavy at all. Give it all to me." Of course, what else. Our favorite passage. Ephesians 4. Yes Lord, I will obey. What else, Colossians 4. God, help me not to just read but do Your words. Jonah 4, I lay down my right to be angry and frustrated with my kids' sins. They are yours and this battle with Satan is also Yours. Teach me to reproof, teach, discipline, disciple, instill, inspire, grow, and love them from Your heart and eyes. Help me to focus on what is righteous, good, just, noble, pure, and admirable. Thank You for reminding me of all these things. You are a perfectly good God, slow to anger and abounding in love. I thank You for Your grace, poured on me when I fall so short of Your words. Thank You for blessings me with this life. Continue to reveal the conditions of my heart so I may confess my sins to You and ask for freedom from them. I claim victory as a follower of Christ that I know my kids will follow You with all of their hearts, souls, minds, and strength. Help me to see this battle in parenting as more than a conqueror. Help me stand tall with the full armor of God, ready to go everyday. God help me to respect my husband for Your glory. Help me to honor him in front of our children. Help me to submit to him, Lord. Continue to transform me and mold me into Your proverbs 31 woman. In Your son Jesus' name I pray. AMEN.

Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

My baby Esther is growin' up... =(



I love the way my own kids talk.


My oldest baby girl singing in the shower...

Good question

A great friend asked me a great question that I did not answer very well. "Why does having natural birth matter so much?" After a week of reeeally thinking, I have two lists.

List one - these are NOT my reasons
1. a need to fulfill a feeling of natural birth - i used to think i needed to feel my babies coming out in order to feel like I've given birth. It is NOT about that.
2. to feel like "a real mom" - as if I am not already a real mom
3. that I am not a real woman until I go through labor - i have been through labor, just not the worst part of it yet - the transition and the crowning (hospital policy cut me short on time).
4. to prove to others that HBACs are possible - i don't need to prove anything to anybody although i will give glory and praise to God no matter if my HBAC is successful or not.
5. to prove to everyone that I can do it - I can't. I am scared. Not scared about labor but scared that there is a chance I'll return to the surgery table. I have been so traumatized. But the Lord will do what He will. Whatever it takes for us to obey Him, we - will - do.
6. I am just a crazy lady - well I don't think this is a valid reason and I don't care if others think that of me cuz this is my list. My identity is secure in Christ.

List two - these ARE the answers from my heart
1. Numero uno - this is the first and foremost reason in my heart - I love children and believe they are blessings from God. I know the Lord has been moving our hearts to have more children before adopting. I know He wants to bless us. My reason for such crazy ideas as HBAC is because we would love to have more children. C-sections limit the number of blessings for our family - not ideal.
2. C-sections have too many side effects. From the drugs, to the incision, and the scars inside and outside, and the muscles and tissues that are being cut, the muscles that need to be retrained and not to mention, the horror of surgery and hospital people not doing the right things. I have been terribly traumatized. (as much as you'd like to believe that hospitals are the safest places to have babies, guess again and research on it before making it a statement)
3. Faith - from the time we felt God telling us He is blessing us with more children, we have been bombarded with stories, bible verses, testimonies and convictions of faith. this one has been the most popular He has used, "If you have faith as small as mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, MOVE from here to there, and it WILL move." Matthew 17

"Don't you know the ridiculous risks?" Yes. My days are numbered anyhow but we are also not going to make a foolish decision just out of the blue. Our pregnancies were never accompanied with any complications - we are a perfect fit for VBACs. But we have lots to do to prepare for the HBAC. My body needs to be back in shape and my internal scar tissue needs to diminish. I need to emotionally and prayerfully prepare myself for another pregnancy, labor, and possible surgery. I have to get over my emotional trauma. We will have to find an HBAC experienced doula/midwife/obgyn/doctor whoever will take our case. I have to eat, exercise, and train my body to give birth (follow strict special instructions from midwives). We have to save up and plan our finances for this. And I can't wait, to meet and be blessed by our little ones. All things are possible for God. Apart from Him, we can do nothing! Nothing, nothing, nothing is impossible for Him. We will look up to Him for strength, reassurance, guidance, and wisdom. Not statistics, not man, not the world.

Lord, continue to work in us. Thank You for our wonderful children. They are Yours. Help us to raise them in Your ways. Give us perseverance, insight, wisdom, and faith. Shower them with Your grace, mercy, discernment, and love. We worship You Lord and only You alone we will serve forever and ever. AMEN.

Solid Rock

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Refrain:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

Thank God for babies!

Psalm 127

A song of ascents. Of Solomon.

¹ Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.

² In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.

³ Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

⁴ Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.

⁵ Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Here's my first baby Abigail (Nov21,05) at karate with my best friend, husband, and daddy in the whole wide world. =)



Here's my second baby Isaac (Jun23,07) learning to bounce the Bball (we are so proud of him)



Here's my third baby Esther (Mar24, 09) bouncing and walking, a video from yesterday!




Thank You for my children Lord. You have blessed us so much with them and through them. Be our guide and give us wisdom to raise them in Your footsteps. In Your holy name we pray, AMEN.

He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

I am #4 of 5. My oldest sister '73, a follower of Christ also, then a brother '75, he is in Heaven with my Savior at 3 days old, then my older brother '76, he is mentally handicapped, me, '81 the odd musician, and my lil' sissy '84, I pray for her every day like my oldest sister did for me. My kids are sick and we've just been hanging out at the house. It's been freezing anyway so we read, eat, watch some bible story and signing time DVDs, read some more, color, practice cutting with scissors, color again, read again, eat more, run around the house and jump on furniture.... then I get this text that my brother was handcuffed. My brother can be a nuisance but he's not even the type that can withstand prison food! No way! My sisters have not been able to reach mom at the piano store for hours. My relatives couldn't be reached at all. So here I was, I could do NOTHING. My brother, handcuffed in his own home, probably scared to death, had mis-dialed 911 and hung up. The cops, being responsible, came to the house for an investigation. My brother freaked out and started running from them. And of course, out of suspicious activities, they busted in and handcuffed him. I looked at my phone, but I didn't know what else to do. I was about to cry. So I gathered my kids and we prayed. Abigail and Isaac were so worried about him. We prayed and prayed for Leo and for grandma be reached soon. After that, I decided to call mom in person and she answered, saying that she just got all the messages and was going home. Leo called me after the cops left. Abigail, Isaac and Phill all got a chance to talk to him. If your heart is filled with compassion for him, would you pray for him right now? Not just about tonight, but for the Lord to reveal his path to us. Ask God to be merciful to him. We also need wisdom in issues with our parents so we honor them but at the same time will be able to do what is best for my brother. Ask the Lord to soften my parents' hearts and draw them to Him.

God, I don't know how to pray about this issue right now. You know what is best for my brother. I trust You in this issue. I pray that You will give us the wisdom and words when we talk to our parents about him and that You will take care of business. Have mercy on my parents. Help me love them and honor them as they are. I pray for my sister, that one day she will too, know Your love for her. God be with my brother tonight as he sleeps. Replace his fears from today with peace and goodness. Take his nightmares and turn it into visions of Heaven. Help him to cope with what has happened today and help my mother to cope with all this. In Jesus' name I ask You of these things. AMEN.