HBAC

Crazy things are happening people. Phill and I are on the same page about having more babies. Naturally. After what had happened to all 3 births with CSection, we are still hopeful for a natural birth. How crazy and unhuman is this??? Maybe God has something bigger planned here and now we just have to obey and have faith. In Matthew 17, Jesus said, "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." and Luke 17,"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you." Hebrews 11 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I've been soaking in His teachings of faith for the past week now and I am trying to figure out how in the world I can gain more faith. I am going to need more and more and more. I want to have more and I want to be sure of what I don't know. It is about living a life of abandonment. It is about giving up my will and living His. It's all crazy isn't it? But I am willing. Not because I am adventurous. Not because I am brave. Not because I can. But because I cannot. I am still afraid. And I am imperfect. I pray all I do will ultimately glorify Him. So this time around, we both have peace about waiting for at least 2 years before we get pregnant again. We will be saving money for a HBAC, which is homebirth after Csection. I know how people get when I say homebirth. It's scary. It's not safe. But even statistics and facts have proven that's not true. If we end up having a high risk pregnancy with health complications, then of course, we'll end up having surgery again at a hospital. But when a pregnancy has no complications, in which none of my pregnancies had any, homebirths are perfectly perfect. My hurdle is to get the babies here early, and that's one of the most important discussions i will have with my midwife. I have had 3 pregnancies and 3 babies and with each Csection, I have learned so much more about VBACs and now HBAC. I know we can do it and it's only crazy and abnormal for the America society. I have had so much struggle with no wanting any kids ever again because of my surgeries and I have prayed so much for the Lord to show us the next step, and when Phill started saying he believes God wants to bless us with more babies, I just knew I have to get reading and planning already.

Lord give me the peace. Give me the faith. Give me everything we need to obey Your will. Thank You for blessing us with Children, for it is said that our Children are arrows of our youth. Help us in this painful journey of our child birth experiences. Heal me of my fears, pains, memories, and past. I can't do this but You can. Continue to put people in our paths and prepare us for the next adventure. Show me what You will have us do. Humble me, help me decrease so You may increase. Help us to be Christ centered in parenting our kids and towards each other. We love You. We pray You will continue to mature us and draw us closer to You. Let us participate in Your Kingdom plans. I pray this in Jesus' name. AMEN.