So howz about some 2010 resolutions

I haven't done a new year's list since 10 yr old but here we go:

1. Finish reading the one year bible and write notes in it for Abigail

Okay, I'm done for now. I don't think it's a list if it only has one thing on it. Maybe I'll think of more during the year while I fall short of God's glory again and again.

My Father in Heaven, Thank You for blessing me in countless ways. Thank You for giving me an abundant life even when I didn't deserve it. Thank You that You have shone Your light into my darkness and saved me. I will always remember the first moments I encountered You. Continue to transform me into a more Christ-centered spouse and mother each and every second of my life. Let me be consecrated to You and Your Word. I pray that my kids will know You in an intimate way. Help us to decrease as You increase in their lives. Remind us to glorify You in everything we do. Prepare us for Your plans. Equip us to share more of You to others. Allow me to minister and serve my husband, my kids, my neighbors, my friends, and everyone around me. This is my continual prayer that You will use me for Your Kingdom work. This is in Your Son Jesus' precious and holy name I pray. AMEN.

Glory to God in the Highest

God You are the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. Thank You for Jesus and thank You for Your unending grace. AMEN.

True thanksgiving

... comes from contentment. This blog has reminded me of being content. Without God's saving grace, I would not be able to be truly thankful for anything right now. We are not entitled to anything but God has graciously provided a way for us to have abundant life. I cannot express how much I thank God for my new life and family. I am so grateful I can fall prostrate at His feet and weep. I am so thankful I am willing to lay down everything I want to be everything He wants. With His help, we will teach our kids to give it all and keep none. We will follow Him. Whatever it takes. Lord give us the wisdom. We can do nothing without You. Help us to continue growing our family and hearts towards You. AMEN.

Take over

I have been so stressed out! I need God to take over and let me rest. I admit I have a very moody personality. I can be really happy and outgoing, and I can be really depressed and hide like a hermit. I am not sure why, but I am still trying to find a balance. Right now I am suffering from some kind of stomach cramps and it's been hurting since last night. I sure hope it's not my appendix. There is a chance it's totally stress related cuz when the baby cries too much, I'd start hurting a lot. And when she got hold of a pair of scissors in the living room while I was in the bedroom, I heard Phill say to my 4 year old, take that scissors away from her, and I cramped up really bad too. I am trying so hard to balance our lives and find a good schedule for all the kids and at the same time trying to do things right with Phill. It has not been easy. I need so much help.

God, help! Give me the wisdom and strength. Alleviate my stress and take over. Have mercy and grace on my children. Continue to teach me, humble me, and search my heart. AMEN.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ABIGAIL!

POLARITY in worship

EXodus 24 1 Then he said to Moses, "Come up to the LORD, you and Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and seventy of the elders of Israel. You are to worship at a distance, 2 but Moses alone is to approach the LORD; the others must not come near. And the people may not come up with him."

Psalm 100 1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

2 Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.

3 Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his [a] ;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.

5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

That's just not right

The Rationing Commission: Meet the unelected body that will dictate future medical decisions.

Wall Street Journal

As usual, the most dangerous parts of ObamaCare aren't receiving the scrutiny they deserve—and one of the least examined is a new commission to tell Congress how to control health spending. Democrats are quietly attempting to impose a "global budget" on Medicare, with radical implications for U.S. medicine.

Like most of Europe, the various health bills stipulate that Congress will arbitrarily decide how much to spend on health care for seniors every year—and then invest an unelected board with extraordinary powers to dictate what is covered and how it will be paid for. White House budget director Peter Orszag calls this Medicare commission "critical to our fiscal future" and "one of the most potent reforms."

On that last score, he's right. Prominent health economist Alain Enthoven has likened a global budget to "bombing from 35,000 feet, where you don't see the faces of the people you kill."

As envisioned by the Senate Finance Committee, the commission—all 15 members appointed by the President—would have to meet certain budget targets each year. Starting in 2015, Medicare could not grow more rapidly on a per capita basis than by a measure of inflation. After 2019, it could only grow at the same rate as GDP, plus one percentage point.

The theory is to let technocrats set Medicare payments free from political pressure, as with the military base closing commissions. But that process presented recommendations to Congress for an up-or-down vote. Here, the commission's decisions would go into effect automatically if Congress couldn't agree within six months on different cuts that met the same target. The board's decisions would not be subject to ordinary notice-and-comment rule-making, or even judicial review.

Yet if the goal really is political insulation, then the Medicare Commission is off to a bad start. To avoid a senior revolt, Finance Chairman Max Baucus decided to bar his creation from reducing benefits or raising the eligibility age, which meant that it could only cut costs by tightening Medicare price controls on doctors and hospitals. Doctors and hospitals, naturally, were furious.

So the Montana Democrat bowed and carved out exemptions for such providers, along with hospices and suppliers of medical equipment. Until 2019 the commission will thus only be allowed to attack Medicare Advantage, the program that gives 10 million seniors private insurance choices, and to raise premiums for Medicare prescription drug coverage, which is run by private contractors. Notice a political pattern?

But a decade from now, such limits are off—which also happens to be roughly the time when ObamaCare's spending explodes. The hard budget cap means there is only so much money to be divvied up for care, with no account for demographic changes, such as longer life spans, or for the increasing incidence of diabetes, heart disease and other chronic conditions.

Worse, it makes little room for medical innovations. The commission is mandated to go after "sources of excess cost growth," meaning treatments that are too expensive or whose coverage will boost spending. If researchers find a pricey treatment for Alzheimer's in 2020, that might be banned because it would add new costs and bust the global budget. Or it might decide that "Maybe you're better off not having the surgery, but taking the painkiller," as President Obama put it in June.

In other words, the Medicare commission would come to function much like the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence, which rations care in England. Or a similar Washington state board created in 2003 to control costs. Its handiwork isn't pretty.

The Washington commission, called the Health Technology Assessment, is manned by 11 bureaucrats, including a chiropractor and a "naturopath" who focuses on alternative, er, remedies like herbs and massage therapy. They consider the clinical effectiveness but above all the cost of medical procedures and technologies. If they decide something isn't worth the money, then Olympia won't cover it for some 750,000 Medicaid patients, public employees and prisoners.

So far, the commission has banned knee arthroscopy for osteoarthritis, discography for chronic back pain, and implantable infusion pumps for pain not related to cancer. This year, it is targeting such frivolous luxuries as knee replacements, spinal cord stimulation, a specialized autism therapy and MRIs of the abdomen, pelvis or breasts for cancer. It will also rule on routine ultrasounds for pregnancy, which have a "high" efficacy but also a "high" cost.

Currently, the commission is pushing through the most restrictive payment policy in the nation for drug-eluting cardiac stents—simply because bare metal stents are cheaper, even as they result in worse outcomes. If a patient is wheeled into the operating room with chest pains in an emergency, doctors will first have to determine if he's covered by a state plan, then the diameter of his blood vessels and his diabetic condition to decide on the appropriate stent. If they don't, Washington will not reimburse them for "inappropriate care."

If Democrats impose such a commission nationwide, it would constitute a radical change in U.S. health care. The reason that physician discretion—not Washington's cost-minded judgments—is at the core of medicine is that usually there are no "right" answers. The data from large clinical trials produce generic conclusions that rarely apply to individual patients, who have vastly different biologies, response rates to treatments, and often multiple conditions. A breakthrough drug like Herceptin, which is designed for a certain genetic subset of breast-cancer patients, might well be ruled out under such a standardized approach.

It's possible this global budget could become an accounting fiction, like the automatic Medicare cuts Congress currently pretends it will impose on doctors. But health care's fiscal pressures will be even stronger than they are today if ObamaCare passes in anything like its current form. And that is when politicians will want this remote, impersonal and unaccountable central committee to do the inevitable dirty work of denying care.

The only way to take the politics out of health care is to give individuals more power to control medical dollars. And the first step should be not to create even more government spending commitments. The core problem with government-run health care is that it doesn't make decisions in the best interests of patients, but in the best interests of government.

"Obamacare is not 'reform' -- given what it would do to spending, it's more like malpractice."

Obamacare: Buy now, pay later By Robert J. Samuelson (The Washington Post)
Monday, November 16, 2009

There is an air of absurdity to what is mistakenly called "health-care reform." Everyone knows that the United States faces massive governmental budget deficits as far as calculators can project, driven heavily by an aging population and uncontrolled health costs. As we recover slowly from a devastating recession, it's widely agreed that, though deficits should not be cut abruptly (lest the economy resume its slump), a prudent society would embark on long-term policies to control health costs, reduce government spending and curb massive future deficits. The administration estimates these at $9 trillion from 2010 to 2019. The president and all his top economic advisers proclaim the same cautionary message.
This Story

* Obamacare: Buy now, pay later
* ROTC for civilian service
* Gambling with the dollar

So what do they do? Just the opposite. Their far-reaching overhaul of the health-care system -- which Congress is halfway toward enacting -- would almost certainly make matters worse. It would create new, open-ended medical entitlements that threaten higher deficits and would do little to suppress surging health costs. The disconnect between what President Obama says and what he's doing is so glaring that most people could not abide it. The president, his advisers and allies have no trouble. But reconciling blatantly contradictory objectives requires them to engage in willful self-deception, public dishonesty, or both.

The campaign to pass Obama's health-care plan has assumed a false, though understandable, cloak of moral superiority. It's understandable because almost everyone thinks that people in need of essential medical care should get it; ideally, everyone would have health insurance. The pursuit of these worthy goals can easily be projected as a high-minded exercise for the public good.
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It's false for two reasons. First, the country has other goals -- including preventing financial crises and minimizing the crushing effects of high deficits or taxes on the economy and younger Americans -- that "health-care reform" would jeopardize. And second, the benefits of "reform" are exaggerated. Sure, many Americans would feel less fearful about losing insurance; but there are cheaper ways to limit insecurity. Meanwhile, improvements in health for today's uninsured would be modest. They already receive substantial medical care. Insurance would help some individuals enormously, but studies find that, on average, gains are moderate. Despite using more health services, people don't automatically become healthier.

The pretense of moral superiority further erodes before all the expedient deceptions used to sell Obama's health-care agenda. The president says that he won't sign legislation that adds to the deficit. One way to accomplish this is to put costs outside the legislation. So: Doctors have long complained that their Medicare reimbursements are too low; the fix for replacing the present formula would cost $210 billion over a decade, estimates the Congressional Budget Office. That cost was originally in the "health reform" legislation. Now, it's been moved to another bill but, because there's no means to pay for it (higher taxes or spending cuts), deficits would increase.

Another way to disguise the costs is to count savings that, though they exist on paper, will probably never be realized in practice. So: The House bill is credited with reductions in Medicare reimbursements for hospitals and other providers of $228 billion over a decade. But Congress has often prescribed reimbursement cuts that, under pressure from squeezed providers, it has later rescinded. Claims of "fiscal responsibility" for the health-care proposals reflect "assumptions that are totally unrealistic based on past history," says David Walker, former U.S. comptroller general and now head of the Peter G. Peterson Foundation.

Equally misleading, Obama's top economic advisers assert that the present proposals would slow the growth of overall national health spending. Outside studies disagree. Three studies (two by the consulting firm the Lewin Group for the Peterson Foundation and one by the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, a federal agency) conclude that various congressional plans would increase national health spending compared with the effect of no legislation. The studies variously estimate that the extra spending, over the next decade, would be $750 billion, $525 billion and $114 billion. The reasoning: Greater use of the health-care system by the newly insured would overwhelm cost-saving measures (bundled payments, comparative effectiveness research, tort reform), which are either weak or experimental.

Though these estimates could prove wrong, they are more plausible than the administration's self-serving claims. Its health-care plan is not "comprehensive," as Obama and the New York Times (in its news columns) assert, because it slights cost control. Obama chose to emphasize the politically appealing path of expanding benefits rather than first attending to the harder and more urgent task of controlling spending. If new spending commitments worsen some future budget or financial crisis, Obama's proposal certainly won't qualify as "reform," as the president and The Post (also in its news columns) call it. It's more like malpractice: a self-inflicted wound.

From frc,org - assisted suicide in health care

Health Care to Die for

Today's fact of the day is a fitting one for Friday the 13th, since H.R. 3962 promises to deliver the grim reaper to any patient signed up for the government health plan. Under Section 240 of the bill, insurance companies are required to provide information on "end-of-life planning" to people who are looking to enroll in coverage offered by the health insurance exchange. In the final bill, Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) decided to strip the broader protective language that was adopted in the Energy and Commerce Committee, which means that H.R. 3962 will mandate the distribution of end-of-life materials about assisted suicide options in Oregon and Washington. At the request of Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-Ore.), the pro-euthanasia organization Compassion and Choices also added "advance care planning consultations" as a new optional Medicare-covered benefit. This would open the door for Medicare to pay for end-of-life consultations that include assisted suicide options in states where it is legal. Both provisions include language that claims these sections don't encourage the promotion of "suicide or assisted suicide." But in crafting their state laws, Oregon and Washington redefined the act of assisting in a suicide as "death with dignity," explicitly stating that such action is not legally considered assisted suicide-even though by medical definition that is exactly what it is. Think such rationing of care could never happen? It already has in Oregon, where patients were told their state provided insurance would not cover treatment but would gladly pick up the cost if they went the assisted suicide route. Just don't call them death panels...

Abigail - first day on bike with no training wheels!

We are sooooo proud of her. She was so excited and surprised. Daddy prayed for her to learn before he went to work and we prayed and gave thanks to the Lord for her success afterward. I truly pray she will learn to give God all glory to all she does.

Thank you Father for Your faithfulness. Grow my children unto You and set them apart for Your Kingdom and work. AMEN.

"halloween" - It's just not our holiday

Last year, I blogged about halloween too and had a strong view against it and I still do. So before reading on, here's the post from last halloween. "And WHAT occasion is THIS?"

My feelings of halloween has been from a parenting spiritual battle point of view and there are several different views of halloween from the ministry angle here at the seminary. I totally understand the alternate festivals to halloween and believe there are some who are called to reach out during the events. There's "harvest festival", "cow town", "trunk or treat" etc etc. I still don't get why kids are allowed tons of candies but I can see the whole building relationships during these events and having an alternative for believers who want to have fun but without the gory side of it. So, in short, I don't condemn believers who celebrate it because we all have different convictions, backgrounds and cultures.

I was a little bothered on halloween this year because the ones who chose not to celebrate halloween were labeled the "legalistic". I felt bad so I talked to an older and trusted friend to see if they did it too. Cuz if they did, I think I'd really feel bad about not "participating" in the ministry side of it all. But guess what, they don't!!!! They had handed out candy and tracts one year, but they've been in Arizona where they were exposed to what halloween was all about and so they know it's a spiritual battle. I am so glad I got to talk to my good friend. And I love gathering reasons for not celebrating halloween, this year, I get to add a quote.  

"We don't celebrate halloween the same reason we don't celebrate Hanukkah. It's just not our holiday!" - Gayle Veitenheimer

God continuing to grow us and set us apart from this world. Help us to love one another and to win souls for Your kingdom. AMEN.

November - Adoption Awareness Month!

Help care for orphans

Lord guide us to the child you have already chosen for us to take into our home. Prepare us to love this child as our own. We will trust you in this process. AMEN.

"Adoption is the new pregnant!" - Sharon

Those who have imperfect wives love more than those who have perfect wives

I deeply believe God gave me Phill to remind me of His love and grace daily. Phill is not a perfect husband at all yet I have been amazed by his persistent love and grace towards me. I knew he loved me, but I am discovering more than ever the ways he loves me, as if I had only known the "tip of the iceberg" before we were married. The more grace Phill pours out on me, and the more love he gives me, the more I want to give back to him.

Just yesterday, I looked at myself (I literally imagined to be someone else looking at myself) and thought, "Man, I am a big mess. I have a terrible attitude, I am rude, I am mean, I am stubborn, and I am disorganzied." Then, just before I got fearful, depressed, and discouraged, my husband came to my mind. "Well, if I am such a big mess, Phill should have yelled at me, tried to divorce me, mocked me or something a while ago now... but I have never ever heard anything but affirmation, praises, and love from him...." And that's when this dawned on me. Those who have imperfect wives love more than those who have perfect wives! Phill loves me with a supernatural love that never dies!

On the day we first agreed to court each other towards marriage, he said to me, (and this is in front of a Dairy Queen in Miami) I promise to show you more of God in this relationship. My heart melted like ice cream and I wanted to marry this man knowing that I was willing to submit to him just as he had submitted himself to Christ. The more imperfect I am, the more I know he loves me. For when I fall short in being a mommy, a wife, a follower of Christ, or a friend, he is always here to pray with me and for me, love me, speak life unto me, encourage me, make me laugh, and hear me cry. Not that I will fall short more just to get more of his love, but that I will also love him back. The way Phill loves me, makes me want to love him more, pray for him more, love his children more, take care of this home more, and be a more Christ centered wife each day! I want to trust him, submit to him, serve him, and yet challenge him, stretch him, and "intense fellowship" (fight with a point) with him.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because [God] first loved us." 1John4:18-19

Heavenly Father, You are the perfect love that drives us to love each other with sacrifice, selflessness, affirmation, and till eternity. Continue to pour Your love into us so we may overflow and in turn pour Your love to everyone around us. I pray that You will continue to mature us in our faith, teach us to season our words with grace and sprinkle them with love, and have mercy on our children and children's children. Help us to be Christ centered spouses, parents, and friends. AMEN.

Hosanna in the highest

Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything I am for Your kingdom's cause......

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God

Matthew 3: 31-34 So don't worry, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear?' For the idolaters eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. Therefore don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

God renew my patience and my soul. Pour Your love in me so I may do so for my children, husband and others. I need Your help to raise the children. I need Your grace for I am not perfect at all. Lead me in Your peaceful path. Bless me with Your wisdom and Your words. Help me focus on seeking You and Your Kingdom and not mine. I lay down myself and desire to drink up Your living water. You are my rock and my salvation. Teach me to rest in You and give You my burdens. Continue to work in me and make me holy. Set me apart for Your works. AMEN.

I GOT JESUS, BABY!

new world order = globalization = end times???

I don't completely agree with everything in this video but I know it bears lots of truth to it. Ephesians 6 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Lord, help us to put on the full Armor of God so we can stand against the Devil's schemes. Deliver us as you delivered Daniel from the den of lions. Direct us and give us peace. Equip and train us so we can in turn equip our children and train them in Your word and truth. AMEN.

lazy

i love journaling but right now i'm lazy and preferring to just type. i'm trying to improve in leading worship for the pre teens... notes from last night:

1. pray like a 5th grade boy
2. mind the flow of the whole set eg fast fast slow prayer vs fast prayer fast talk slow prayer
3. know the structure of all songs verse chorus verse chorus chorus instr bridge chorus etc
4. write down what to pray or say
5. crack the whip and start on time no chit chatting
6. don't worry too much about instr details when players are good
7. start sound checking right away to get everyone into practice mode
8. send song keys with the song list
9. think of something funny that'll break the ice
10. don't pray with long pauses or pray too long kids start elbowing each other
11. energetic prayers during the intro of songs not just at the beginning or end with solemn prayers
12. have fun
13. know my lyrics
14. ask drummer to click it off
15. feed off of the kids' energy
16. ask band to vamp while kids come in from game time
17. ask kids to do motions at front if songs are familiar
18. develop my own leading style

God help me.

Oath of allegiance

You would've thought I'd blog on becoming a citizen last Thursday. LOL Well, I am an American citizen now. woohoo! I first drove all the way from the seminary to Irving, thinking that the ceremony was there. Then when I got all 3 kids down to the building and checking the diaper bag through security, an officer came up to me and said, "Ma'am, it is not here." "You are KIDDING me!" So I looked on the paper, and realized it was in a court house in downtown Fort Worth. Wow. I wasn't mad, I had a peace and calmness about it that only God could explain. I buckled all 3 kids back into the car, drove down to dowtown Fort Worth and tried to park. Parking was expensive and guess what? I did not bring my wallet. HA. HA. Well, I drove around till I found a meter and I prayed and prayed that it was one with leftover minutes in it. Lo and behold, the Lord provides 39 minutes on the meter! So, I used the 2 dimes and a nickel that I found on the carpet in my car and prayed that the ceremony will not be longer than an hour. My kids must have thought I was losing my mind watching me mumbling these prayers.

As we went into the court house, I explained to the officer at the front that I went to Irving. Without another word, he said, "go upstairs to the 4th floor and look for Maria." "okay... thanks" "don't dwadle, you don't have much time. go go go!" So with 3 children under the age of 4, we went to the 4th floor. Well, it was real quiet and real solemn. There were people outside the courthouse waiting for the people who were in the ceremony. So I started asking everyone where Maria is. No one knew. I prayed again. Suddenly the door opens, and out comes Maria. NO KIDDING! "MARIA, MARIA!" She was very surprised and said to go with her. As she opened the door, she asked, "You didn't bring anyone with you?" I shook my head. "Do you have to bring your kids?" "Well, Yes! I am not leaving them outside" So with thousands of apologies, I walked through the court house where people had to move their chairs and legs out of the way for my kids and stroller. Finally, I reached the immigration officers who just checked me in and asked me to sit... There was no room. So, one of the officers stood up and orchestrated for a whole row of strangers to move down one seat. That was my most most most embarrassing moment of my life. We waited and waited for the judge to come out. Someone sang the star spangled banner and then all 63 countries represented were mentioned, ranging from Iran to Vietnam. Then we got to the oath of allegiance. This is the part where I thought was interesting. The oath really reminded me of a covenant I made with the Lord my God when I first surrended my life to Him! Read this:

I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God.

When we declare our faith in Christ, we renounce our allegiance to the world, Satan and our sinful nature. That we will read His word, support and defend the Truth which is in Christ Jesus. That we will put on the armor of God and stand firm against the Devil's schemes. Ephesians 6. That we quoting the oath, take the obligation freely without nay mental reservation or purpose of evasion, so help us Lord! We are to renounce our own lives and die to ourselves and gain new lives in Christ! When we "jump kingdoms", we must understand that we will no longer serve the Prince of the World but pledge our lives to the Prince of Peace.

Well anyway, then judge Bleil had to give the keynote address because there was no keynote speaker. He was so funny. He kept apologizing for America and speaking of the responsibilities of the judicial branch. That sometimes the executive and legislative branch tells the judicial branch to shut up and that's wrong because the judicial branch keeps the other branches in line. Then he went on to tell people to vote.

Then someone sang God bless America. I personally preferred God bless the USA but I'll take God bless America. Then we did the pledge of allegiance and that was it! I was glad we went to Irving because if we showed up at 9:30, I would not have had enough coins for 3 hours, and I would have been in terrible traffic, upset, stressed out and grouchy. And the kids would not have behaved so well at the courthouse. The Lord turned my carelessness into a huge blessing. The first thing I did to celebrate my new found citizenship was to fill out a form to register as a voter!!! =)

Lord thank You that I am a citizen in Heaven. That You have allowed me to become part of Your Kingdom. AMEN.

Who's your security blanket?

I have been mourning over certain sins in my life and learning to die to myself and gaining new life in Christ. Once in a while, I still get series of dreams of abandonment, insecurity, and heartache all over again. My sinful nature keeps going backwards, looking at life with a hindsight, and wanting to gain some kind of security through my past. During these times, I feel shame and guilt, and I always turn to my God, my godly friends, and my husband for help. I confess, I mourn, I repent, I forgive, I let go.... it is terribly difficult. I seek for wise counsel, I read and meditate upon His words, and I pray for His miraculous healing upon my soul. I asked Phill to tell me what to do today and he asked me to stop clinging onto my past as a security blanket. I felt terrible. At first, because I feel like I have betrayed him. As if I have not clung onto him as a security blanket. Then, I felt convicted, because it means I have not clung onto Christ as my security blanket either! Yes, this is going to be a long, hard road. But I know I have a God who will never leave me or forsake me, and I know I have a husband who continues to lay down his life for me daily. I will continue to die to myself and align my life with Christ who saved me from the darkness.

Lord, reveal your heart to me and pull me away from evil. Help me find security, identity, and sovereignty in You alone. AMEN.

"Propaganda is propaganda no matter how you paint it"... shame shame shame

God help us. Show your sovereignty and give us hope. Help us to guide people around us to find hope in You and You only. Use us to glorify Your name. Send us into the fields of harvest and teach us to be fishers of men. You alone are God and You will deliver these souls. AMEN

YouTube Evangelism part 2

Unexpected turn of events I believe. Pray pray pray for the person I have been reaching out to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78kGJCPYRkM&NR=1


"Hey everybody! we are going on vacation for the very first time as a family! do you what vacation is?" Abigail: "Yeah! The baaaad apple." "No!!! THat's temptation!!!" LOL!

NAPO

I have always been troubled about not being able to organize and decorate any space around me. I went online and typed in organization tips, and clicked on NAPO, National Association of Professional Organizers!!! You can apparently pay someone who is certified through this association about 50 dollars an hour to come to your house and help you organize your house. I think I should just read tips and learn how to do it myself. So, the journey has begun. I have been getting boxes and bins and just putting everything in them. Supposedly that's how it works. The next step is to learn how to decorate. Here are the "Ten comments in decorating your room".

http://www.rentaldecorating.com/Interiordesign101-7/interior_design_ten_commandments.htm

God, continue to help me in becoming a godly woman, wife, and mother who can pass down great skills and knowledge to the next generations. AMEN.

YouTube Evangelism

I love being on youtube. Not just because I get to watch movie clips, free comedy shows, bring up worship songs etc etc. But because I feel heart broken for those who comment on these sites! A lot of them are seeking for the truth and asking really good questions but seldom do they get the answers they need. Some are just there to debate and tear others' shakable faith down and that's not right. So, I've been at this for about 6 months now. I read the comments, find a target, pray pray pray for what and how to say, and give it a shot. It is simple. Shy Christians should definitely give it a try! Here's a recent example:

SHADOW10621 (3 months ago)

I didn't get this story when I was in bible school and I still don't get it 38 years later. What did God sacrifice if he could bring anything back ? I mean he sideth on the right hand of God the father almighty. I am bad I should not question things God knows everything and I am stupid.

ndyt (2 months ago)

SHADOW10621, yeah, I feel the same way. If Jesus came back and still lives, then what was sacrificed? Doesn't Jesus need to stay dead for it to be a sacrifice?

mommykoo (1 day ago)

He was dead. Jesus died for 3 days! The resurrection was important for He proved that one day He CAN in fact plead for our lives in front of the Father and get us in Heaven with Him. That's HUGE and glorious!

mommykoo (1 day ago)

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going. John 14:1-4

lepgray (3 weeks ago)

So the excrutiating pain and torture, the humiliation, the injustice, the betrayal by His own disciple and His own people, that's not sacrifice enough for you? He was completely and utterly deserted by His father and He didn't KNOW if He would be resurrected. He was sinless and He suffered anyway, so that each of us can take His gift and live eternally with Him. I have to say I'm pretty awe struck and deeply humbled. By the way, it's okay to question, just be open to His answer.

mommykoo (1 day ago)

The most awesome thing about God is that He wants you to ask the questions because then it means you are still seeking for the truth and have not given up.

Jesus did not have to die but because God wants His creation to be saved so one day we can still be with Him, Jesus had to die for our sins. He was resurrected to prove that He was indeed the Son of God and that He can one day fulfill His promise to bring us to Heaven.

mommykoo (1 day ago)

For the one whom God has sent speaks the words of God, for God gives the Spirit without limit. The Father loves the Son and has placed everything in his hands. Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him. John 3:34-36

TheThechosen0ne (2 months ago)

wat happen about the earthquake

mommykoo (1 day ago)

And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people. Matthew 27

mommykoo (1 day ago)

i think the earth shook to open the tombs. the sequence of events was not exactly 100%. also the sky was supposed to be dark.

mommykoo (1 day ago)

oh and there was no storm recorded

mommykoo (1 day ago)

nevertheless, it's a great video.

ndyt (1 day ago)

mommykoo, your religion is a based on a fairytale and its practice is a cult.

mommykoo (1 day ago)

what if you are wrong?

ndyt (1 day ago)

mommykoo, if am wrong then my chance of getting into heaven is the same about the same as yours because there are thousands of religions out there so the chance of picking the right one is small. There are over 38,000 different denominations of christianity alone! Those are long odds to get it right. Also, I feel I have not done anything to warrant being tortured for eternity. Have you? What was it you did?

mommykoo (21 hours ago)

Those were bible verses just in case you'd give Him a chance and read it thoroughly.

But look, easy example. If I handed you a cup of water with a teaspoon of poison in there, would you take it? I wouldn't, because it's not pure. Well, God is light, and in Him there is no darkness. Just as water and poison wouldn't go together and light and darkness wouldn't either, neither do sinful people and God. That answers the question whether we have ever done anything to deserve hell.

ndyt (21 hours ago)

mommykoo, so you are saying that even though god is all powerful, he he accepts someone that is not pure good then he will become tainted and no longer pure good? If that is the case then he is not all powerful.

mommykoo (21 hours ago)

I have read richard dawkins' books. he tells me that i am an organic meatbag while my Creator tells me He had made a way for us to be in heaven with Him one day. All He ever did was love me.

ndyt (20 hours ago)

mommykoo, too bad your creator is a fairytale.

mommykoo (20 hours ago)

I have nothing to lose. He'll be my knight in shining armor and I will be His bride.

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels. Mark 8:36-38

ndyt (11 hours ago)

mommykoo, how do you know you have the right religion and the right denomination? There are thousands.

mommykoo (4 hours ago)

religion and denomination are man made. all i know if my God is the living God that made me and that He provided a way for me to be with Him in the end of time. I know i am covered for eternity.

ndyt (2 hours ago)

mommykoo, the bible is man made too. It was constructed by the catholic church to control people. You have nothing that isn't man made to tell you about god.

mommykoo (1 minute ago)

you're incorrect. the whole world was created by God. He created the sun and the moon, He set the stars in the sky and rainbow in clouds. He created the trees and the fish, the birds and the beasts. He created the ants and the dirt. Cont......

mommykoo (1 minute ago)

He also created my conscience and made me in His image so when I do wrong, I feel guilt and shame. even if the bible was man made, the words were inspired by God. His words convicts a soul to fear death and desire Heaven. Nothing wrong w/ being in a better place after a person dies. is there?

mommykoo (3 seconds ago)

everything that He has made is more than enough evidence for my eyes.

mommykoo (21 hours ago)

JEsus said, "I am the way the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

mommykoo (21 hours ago)

John 3:34-36

mommykoo (21 hours ago)

I think the more valid question is, why do you think you deserve to be in Heaven? Let's go down the list of 10 commandments. 1. Worship God only. Have you loved something more than God? 3. don't misuse His name. Have you ever said OMG? 5. Honor your parents. Have you ever disobeyed them? 9. Do not lie. Have you ever tweaked the truth?

ndyt (21 hours ago)

mommykoo, no, the more important question is: why do you think the god of the bible is real when there is only evidence agaisnt it and none for it?

mommykoo (21 hours ago)

what evidence do you have against a living God? I'd like to know. and i think you are avoiding my valid question of why you think you deserve to be in Heaven with a Holy God.

ndyt (21 hours ago)

The earthquake would be in roman records, it is not.

mommykoo (15 minutes ago)

i think you are saying that to take people's hearts away from God. why? why don't you want others to reconcile with their Creator? it's one thing if you don't believe and it's another to bring others with you... =(

Lord, continue to use us for Your glory and to become more efficient fishers of men. AMEN.

My hubby

I just wanted to take note here on my blog that Phill has stepped up like never before to lead this family spiritually! We have always done the basics just to get by. Like the before bed bible time, prayers at each meal and bed time, bible verse each week... real basic. For the past few days, Phill has added a simple devotion at dinner time too! He's been more patient, kind, and gentle lately. And I am not supposed to have found out, but he has been doing the love dare!!! (I found out on day 4, hehehe) I have just been so amazed, surprised and flattered that my husband has been making such huge efforts to love me and our children. God is so faithful and full of grace.

God, thank You for Your faithfulness. We marvel at Your plans. Continue Your work in us. Continue to mold us and transform us. Help me to be Phill's helper. To uplift him and to love him. Help me to be a Christ centered wife and mother. I will continue to surrender to You every morning. Your will be done. AMEN.

(Oh, and Esther crawled two steps this morning.)
Coming back from the pool, ABigail asked, "mommy can I go play with my friends?" "I thought you were hungry. Don't you wanna come inside to eat?" "ummm, you can go inside to cook and I can play outside!!!" LOL!!!

Senator Cornyn's reply

Dear Mrs. Koo:

Thank you for contacting me about President Obama’s new initiative to monitor American citizens’ speech about his health care policies. I appreciate having the benefit of your comments on this matter.

As you know, on August 5, 2009, I sent a letter to President Barack Obama expressing my concerns about a new program that requested American citizens to forward to the White House emails and “casual conversations” of their fellow citizens who oppose the President’s health care policies. As I stated in my letter to the President, I believe that this program is inconsistent with America’s tradition of free speech and public discourse. I urged the President to cease the program, to purge personally identifiable information gathered by the program from White House records, and to detail how the White House intended to use the information gathered.

Though I am still awaiting a response to my letter from the President, I was pleased to see that on August 17, 2009, the White House shut down the program. While I am glad the site has been shut down, Americans still deserve to know what the White House intends to do with information that was collected during the 13 days the program was in effect. On August 19, 2009, I sent another letter to the President, reiterating my belief that the White House should fully disclose how they are using this information, and seeking the President’s commitment that no similar programs will be instituted in the future.

Health care affects every American and I believe we need to take the time to listen to the patients, providers, families, and small businesses that will be significantly impacted by reform. As Congress debates health care reform and other critical policy matters, citizen engagement must not be chilled by fear of government monitoring the exercise of free speech rights.

I appreciate the opportunity to represent Texans in the United States Senate, and you may be certain that I will continue working with my colleagues to protect our First Amendment rights. Thank you for taking the time to contact me.

Sincerely,

JOHN CORNYN
United States Senator


517 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510
Tel: (202) 224-2934
Fax: (202) 228-2856
http://www.cornyn.senate.gov

GOD I PRAY FOR SENATOR CORNYN AS HE MAKES DECISIONS FOR US EACH DAY. WE PRAY THAT YOUR WISDOM AND SOVEREIGNTY WILL RULE AND THAT YOU WILL BE IN EVERYTHING AND EVERY DECISION HE MAKES. I ALSO PRAY FOR OUR NATION. FORGIVE US OF OUR SINS AGAINST YOU. MAKE US SET APART. HELP US MOVE FORWARD. YOU ARE SOVEREIGN AND WE TRUST IN YOU. GUIDE US WITH YOUR WORDS AND WE PRAY FOR OUR LEADERS TO MAKE DECISIONS THAT WILL HONOR YOU AND YOUR WORD. AMEN

This is hilarious. Must watch!

Lord where are my eagles' wings? Need it now.

I just need a break from spiritual warfare. I am getting so tired of the Enemy have strongholds in my family tree.


Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 9-12


I need lots of prayer and lots of thinking and lots of wisdom and lots of love because I plainly do not know how to deal with this situation. GOd help. I am claiming victory because You have already won. I am asking so I may receive. Give me the right attitude, words, whatever I need to deal with my mom. I am tired. Renew my strength. Continue Your work in me and my family so we may glorify Your name. AMEN.

Abandonment

I grew up in Hong Kong. Nothing too special about it. I was surrounded by buddhist temples, hinduist idols, atheistic beliefs, and lots of incense (not to mention pollution). I was taught to love my friends but gossip about them behind their backs. Also to respect my elders but lie to my teachers. Then to spend tens of thousands of dollars to worship my ancestors but shun the poor in the streets and old in the family.

Now, I might just be the only one who was raised that way in Hong Kong, but nevertheless, that was what I learned. I was sensitive, quiet, and confused growing up, and by preteen, I was rebellious, calloused, and even more confused. When I became a follower of Christ, I studied my bible, prayed to Jesus, and worshiped Him with total abandonment. I didn't mind anything that He would call me to be or to do. I wanted Him to completely take over. My mother saw God's work in me and decided never to worship her gods again. My oldest sister saw my spiritual growth, praised God and joined in the race. My brother accepted Christ too even though he's mentally handicapped.

I have followed Christ for 6 years to date. I have married a godly husband who is a Jesus freak, have 3 children whom we have devoted unto Him, and no, I have not been perfect, I have needed a lot of grace and mercy, and Christ is still central to our family and my being.

Just a few weeks ago, my oldest sister and her 2 young children traveled once again from CA to FL to stay at my parents house. My mother, who had "accepted Christ", still kept her idols in the house. I encouraged my sister, if she stayed there with her kids, that even if she didn't 't break them and throw them away, she needed to at least say something about them. Being first born, she's not the type to ruffle feathers, break traditions, and break idols. So, she taped the idols up and put them in a box. Supposedly, my mother didn't even notice until my brother told her, and she started crying. She was going to find the box when they leave. Well, yesterday just after their plane left DFW for a plane transfer, my mother called her and told her not to call her ever again because she can't find the box. I encouraged her, quoting from Galatians 1.  And today, my sister texted me telling me that "grace was sufficient" so we shouldn't play policeman. Whatever that meant. But then, she started telling me that mom doesn't want to be Christian because of me.

Okay, this is where I am at right now. Do I take this as a compliment or do I sob over it? In Luke 14:25-27, I am fully aware, that there is a huge price in following Christ. In Matthew 5, the BeAttitudes, I am going to align my life to the Word of God, even if my family does not understand and completely disagree with us being in ministry, in seminary, and in Christ. I cannot become less than I am called to be just because I want to be liked by every one. At least my mother knows what a follower of Christ is like. That we surrender everything to Him and has no reservation. That we choose to please God than please man. I have to be okay with my cousins not talking to me or friending me on facebook. I have to be okay with my mother cursing me in front of people. I have to be okay with my college friends calling me freak and other names. I have to be okay with complete brokenness resulting in me falling prostrate in front of Jesus' feet asking for His mercy, grace, and love. But I sob over the fact that my mother was not saved after all. I am heart broken for all those who are not saved especially relatives that I grew up knowing. I am desperately grieved. God hear my prayers to You. Hear my cry and my heart. I choose to surrender to You and give You my all. Save my family, my children, my grand children, and my great grand children. Let us live a life of total abandonment. I know Your grace is sufficient for me. I don't need anyone else's approval or anyone else's praise. I ask You to give me Your wisdom and Your words, Your compassion and Your heart. Help me to be a beacon of light to especially my children. Help me to get organized at the home and become a woman of God that will glorify You. Help me to see the strengths and weaknesses of my children and teach them to honor You with their gifts. I thank You for Your love and Your grace. You are my strength and my shield. AMEN.

Important video for all to watch - carseats

I pledge allegiance

Tomorrow morning, I am going to the department of homeland security to take the citizenship tests and interview. I guess it's time I become a citizen. My passport from Hong Kong has been expired for 2 years now and my resident alien status is expiring in 2011. I was on their website and saw that they need volunteers at the Naturalization ceremonies. LOL!! Like singers, choirs, keynote speakers, and color guards!!

https://egov.uscis.gov/crisgwi/go?action=offices.detail&office=DAL&OfficeLocator.office_type=LO&OfficeLocator.statecode=TX

No joke. I am gonna sign up to sing or give a keynote address or something. LOL.

On a more serious note, the Koo family is still struggling to become a discipled family. As a first generation Christian couple, Phill and I have so much to work on. We are in desperate need of God's grace on the children all the time. Every time I mess up or my husband mess up, I find myself going, "Oh Lord, help. Have mercy on us and our children." So, Phill and I are looking for an older and experienced Christian couple to take us under their wings so we can learn what a Christ centered family looks like. God give us an idea of the couple that you are going to provide for us. We need so much help and grace! Please give us a couple that will guide us, love us, and pray for us during these tough years of parenting. Provide for us what we need in order to become a more Christ centered family. Continue to transform Phill and I so that we may show more of You and less of us as we love, teach, disciple, and guide our children. AMEN.

In this present age

Yes 2009 is the year Obama tripled our national debt, legalized tax payers' money for abortion, and of course, attempting to socialize health care.

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=119316071620&h=tjcGM&u=V_FNu&ref=nf

http://www.youtube.com/my_subscriptions?pi=0&ps=20&sf=added&sa=0&sq=obamacare&dm=2&s=C0hFlT7rcz4&as=1#

http://fota.cdnetworks.net/pdfs/2009-07-30-healthcare-concerns-questions.pdf

Enough said.

Today was also the day we and the inlaws reconciled. I am supposed to have some kind of spiritual freedom now... Is it going to come slowly? Or is it going to hit me tomorrow or sth? I don't know..... But long story short, nothing from the past was brought up but new boundaries were set. I said I forgave her and asked her to forgive me. Our hands actually touched too... not just for like a second. It was kinda awkwardly long. Like 3 minutes. I don't know why I was clutching on it. In the middle of us talking, Phill decided to talk to another guy who was just walking through, asking him if there was coffee.......... ~.~

God continue to show me what to do and help me to obey You.

One of those days

I am just emotional today. The beginning of the month. I think I am PMS-ing. LOL.

Today, Abigail was coloring a dog and I asked her if the dog had a name. She thought for a moment and smiled saying, "Dog Koo." HAHAHAHAHA.......

I am mad. I am mad at God's people who are not broken hearted over the conditions of the nation. I am mad that lots of people still believe that politics has nothing to do with Christianity. Paul. Apostle Paul was always in the middle of politics!! He talked to officials, emperors, even the prison guards! Our war is not of the flesh but is in the spirit. Our political warfare is spiritual. So much at risk for our children and our children's children.

To be continued........................ gotta go cook.

Yawn

Lately Esther's been waking at wee hours to play. So... yawn....

I am sure we'll laugh at this one day, but it sure wasn't funny when I came downstairs from feeding Esther to finding Abigail and Isaac eating "beans" from a game. How did they not know that those were not real? When I saw Isaac kinda chewing on one, I asked him, hey buddy, don't eat those, they are not really beans, just toys. Abigail turned around with a shocked look and said, they are not real? I looked at her and said, of course not! It's a game! Did you eat them too??? She started to panic and said, yeah.... I ate 3!! I can't say I did not freak out. After 5 mins of screaming into an imaginary pillow, I calmly explained to her that the beans will probably just come out in her poop in a day or two. WOw....

Dad and Leo left today. I am glad they came. Leo had fun at joy zone on Sun and I think Dad's heart is more receptive to the gospel. I thought this visit was gonna be a little more stressful but it turned out fine. Now, the Lord has to work on my heart towards the inlaws who are coming in just 2 weeks. I will be sooooo grouchy for the next two weeks. I just don't know what to expect and not to expect. I am a little scared and a little reluctant still but I know God requires me to forgive. It is a long process and a conflict. I need to keep on forgiving.

God, keep transforming me and making me holy for Your glory. I pray my dad will seek You with his heart. I pray You will give him more opportunities to hear Your word and for him to seek Your face. Continue to use me for Your kingdom work. I pray wisdom over my children and my husband. I ask for more patience, love and encouraging words. And yes, help me to reconcile with my in laws. AMEn.

I love how Isaac says bana for banana

I know the Lord is with me. I posted yet another controversial article http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=120021161816&h=w2m2Z&u=idwcV&ref=mf on facebook and comments came flooding. I guess my liberal friends don't like it when I do that. I knew it was a spiritual warfare so I prayed and prayed before I did anything else and my prayer was answered by a friend who posted 2 min before me. I didn't feel alone. I knew God is a miracle worker. I know He was able to show me and affirm me in my faith. He was so full of grace. God thank you for showing up. I can always count on You.

My heart was so grieved with my toddlers today. Abigail lied twice, disobeyed me about jumping across Esther, and ignored me when I asked her to come to me. Isaac... Oh Isaac, he spilled everything that was in his hands on purpose the whole day. He sprayed cleaners all over the video camera, he too ignored me when I asked him to come to me. He was a terror today. I was soooo discouraged. I asked people for prayers. I know this is an uphill thing. I have to fight for my kids' hearts and souls. I know that. God help. I know You are the only one able to do this. You are the One to call them to You. All I care is that they will know you and love you and obey you. Give us godly wisdom. Help us follow You. Help us capture their hearts for You. Give them a consuming passion to pursue You. Give me the patience and wisdom to deal with them when they fall short of You glory. Help me gently restore them into Your righteousness and Your love. I need Your help, affirmation and Your grace. AMEN.

Praise Him all heavenly saints proclaim

Praise the Lord. He has given us wisdom to challenge each other never to yell at each other or at the children. We have committed every morning to do so, and our relationships have gotten more intimate, loving, and peaceful. All we did was one thing. Completely eliminate any yelling. That was it. So simple. And it worked! I am sooo glad we listened and obeyed Him.

One Thing (PS27) Charlie Hall

Single minded, whole hearted, one thing I ask (x2)

That I may gaze upon Your beauty Oh Lord
That I may seek Your Holy Face
That I may know You in an intimate way
And follow after You all of my days


All of life comes down to just one thing
and that's to know You oh Jesus and make You known

There's nothing else I can add to Psalm 27. That's all I am. That's all I do. That's all what our family is all about. That's it. This is it. One thing. To know Him and to make Him known. AMen.

Our government

I love our country. I love that we have the freedom to speak up. I love that I can catch every single move that the administration is making. And I love that I can call our reps, email our president, and tell everyone about a law or bill that cannot be passed. I love that. I thank God for that freedom. I pray we will never give up our freedoms by submitting under the UN convention. And I pray that more and more people will exercise their rights and freedom while we still can.

More Americans Sickened at Thought of ObamaCare

The two Senate committees that have written health care "reform" plans are drawing closer to having their final products ready after the July Fourth recess--despite the fact that the Senate Finance Committee hasn't held a single hearing on its legislation. The bills may be moving quickly, but the drive to find support for them has not.

Conservatives are doing all they can to response to the unusually opaque situation take advantage of the situation on Capitol Hill. This morning, I joined a health care panel discussion on Capitol Hill, sponsored by Americans for Tax Reform and the Media Research Center. Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) participated, rolling out his Health Care Freedom Act, a plan that offers more choices, lower cost, and no tax hikes.

Meanwhile, the President's push took another big hit at the hands of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, which sent an email blast to members urging them to oppose Sen. Ted Kennedy's (D-Mass.) "dangerous proposal." Apparently, even Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.) was listening. During yesterday's Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions (HELP) mark-up, which Dodd chaired, the Connecticut Senator sounded like a Republican when he said that no one on the HELP Committee would vote for Kennedy's plan if it cost $2.3 trillion to cover 16 million people.

Dodd may have retreated on the HELP proposal, but his committee still made plenty of waves. During yesterday's hearing, Democrats defeated three amendments that should frighten every American. As the Health Care Freedom Coalition describes it, "One amendment would have required health care price disclosure and health care quality results (i.e., which doctors and hospitals are good). Two other amendments sought to ensure that the government could not ration health care..." The Democrats voted against each amendment, meaning that they support the rationing system.

As FRC has argued, rationing would mean limited treatments and delayed service for patients. Under the government-run plans in England and Canada, the countries' sick and elderly aren't getting the care they need. As a result, their system isn't improving lives but prematurely taking them. Here in the United States, Obama's rationing would mean that you and I could be denied basic care while our tax dollars are used to underwrite a mother choosing to end the life of her unborn child.

At least we can all keep our health care plans if we like them, right? Wrong. In this exchange between ABC's Jake Tapper and President Obama, it appears the White House is backing off of that promise too.

JAKE TAPPER: "...If the government is offering a cheaper health care plan, then lots of employers will want to have their employees covered by that cheaper plan... And then their employees would be signed up for this public plan, which would violate what you're promising the American people, that they will not have to change health care plans if they like the plan they have... [W]hat about keeping your promise to the American people..."

OBAMA: "...When I say if you have your plan and you like it, and your doctor has a plan--or you have a doctor and you like your doctor, that you don't have to change plans, what I'm saying is the government is not going to make you change plans under health reform."

That's quite a shift from last Monday, when the President swore, "...No one will take [your plan] away, no matter what." Under Obama, the private sector is dying the death of a thousand cuts, not one killing stroke.

Monday in a Harlem middle school, U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Susan Rice told a group of 120 students that administration officials are actively discussing “when and how it might be possible to join” (that is, ratify) the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC). As before, she also communicated what a disgrace it is that the U.S. would stand with only Somalia against such a widely-accepted treaty.

This is the first direct public statement by the Obama administration that it will seek ratification of the UN CRC.

In my 30 years of political involvement, I have learned to recognize this as what is called a “trial balloon.” Like in World War I trench warfare, our opponents have “sent up a balloon” to see if it will draw fire. If things remain quiet, they will proceed with their plans to push for ratification of the CRC in the U.S. Senate.

To discourage them from doing so, we need to make sure that our voices are heard with unmistakable clarity. We must let the Obama administration know that we oppose this anti-family, anti-American treaty.

Here’s what we need you all to do:

1. Call the White House comments line at 202-456-1111. Tell them you heard the administration wants to ratify the CRC, and you strongly oppose this giving away of U.S. sovereignty to the UN. Also keep in mind that this treaty gives the government jurisdiction to override any decision made by any parent if the government thinks that a better decision can be made—even if there is no proof of any harm.

2. Call Ambassador Susan Rice’s office at the United Nations. Tell her that you want her to represent the United States to the world rather than trying to get the United States to go along with international law initiated by the UN. Her office number is 212-415-4000.

3. Contact your Senators and urge them to oppose ratification of this treaty. (Find your Senators’ contact information by typing your zip code into the box here.) Ask them also to defeat it once and for all by cosponsoring SJRes 16 – the Parental Rights Amendment.

God Help our President to make wise decisions. Help our countrymen to wake up and call on these erroneous bills and laws. Help me to raise our kids to love the truth and stand up for the truth. Help me to become the godly woman that You want. I want to be a Christ centered mom and wife. Help me to be an encouragement to my husband. Help me to be a source of light to my kids. AMEN.

Oh Lord transform me

I don't like my own attitude. I go through the day with 2 toddlers and a almost 3 mth old and it's hard to be kind all the time. I am trying so hard to be kind, patient, gentle, and encouraging. Sometimes, I succeed and other times, I don't. I also want to be more encouraging to my husband. I want to build others up, not one who tears down. I have prayed for the Lord to transform me. And I know He's not done with me yet. I just feel like I am messing my kids up because I am not completely transformed. I am so eager to be transformed by Him. I get so nervous sometimes thinking about it. I think I need to let go and sail with Him. I am always worried about what I am doing might hinder my husband and kids that my attitude gets even worse. Lord, carry my burden and let me take up Your yoke. Help me to let go and let You reign in me. I know I will never get there by my own efforts. Let me decrease so You can increase. God, help me forgive those who have wronged me. Help me believe that You can free me from unforgiveness. I pray that You will continue to work in me so others may see You in me and my family. Purify my every thought, action, and word. Give me a clean heart. Help me guide my children to You and capture their hearts for You. AMEN.

VOTE NO on hate crimes legislation

http://www.citizenlink.org/CLtopstories/A000010249.cfm

I do not agree with killing anything that can grow which includes fetuses. If you think about it, you can compare the fetus to two things. Flies and flowers. I hate flies. I kill flies all the time because they are annoying and dirty. Flowers, I love growing flowers, and I always urge my kids not to go into those flower beds so the flowers don't get trampled and die. To me, the fetus is a flower not a fly. I don't agree with abortion. Now in America, there are certain rights for certain people. Apparently if the majority of people agree that a certain type of murder is not murder anymore, then it's okay to murder. So, I'll give you that, and agree that it is okay to have free will and do whatever you want to do. The problem is, these people who like to kill also are encouraging others to kill and taking parents out of the picture.

Our parental rights are actively being threatened. The Universal court has an international law that gives children rights. If the US decides to go under this court, we are in trouble. If my child cries in public, the CPS can take my child away without answers or questions. So, apparently, if our kids want to have sex and have abortions, we don't have a right as parents to say no, especially if we had some mumbo jumbo religious reason. And of course, who is telling all these kids that it's okay to have "safe sex", the Comprehensive Sex Education program! It is a monopoly for activist organizations like Planned Parenthood.

There is one reason why I do not support govt schools. Activists. Gay activists, religious activists, anti life activists... you name it. They get to our next generation, they get the vote, and they know it.

I have blogged many times on tolerance. As Christians, we are the intolerant these days. Truth has become impressionistic. Oh, if it's true to you, then it's obviously true to you. What a bunch of bull. I remember watching a commercial on KERA where a bunch of blind folded kids stuck their hands into a huge bowl of spaghetti. Well, each kid had a uniquely ridiculous answer. Snakes, slimy worms, dragon hair,... I was truly disappointed that they never announced that there was only one true answer! SPAGHETTI! Those kids can think they are worms all they want, but the truth is that it was not worms! This society encourages its people to be blinded to the truth. So apparently, because of this, those who stand up for what is right and what is true (absolute truth) are wrong and intolerant. How sad and backwards.

Anyway, we know this is all about one thing. Warfare for the next generation's souls. God, You are sovereign. We love because You have first loved us. But those who don't love You will never know love. Forgive us as we fall short every day. Help us to persevere through trials, persecution, ridicule, and hatred. We need You more than ever and I ask You to set our children apart for You. Help us. Help us raise our kids to love You and Your word more than anything in this world. Help them to see You in us. Help us to live our lives through You and love them. We need You in our home. Continue to transform us so that we will become who You want us to be. Continue to use us and stretch our faith. Show us Your glory. AMEN.

Reporting live from Fort Worth Texas

Love our life here. Love our church here. Love what God's doing in our family. Love the people God has brought into our lives.

People have come up to me, teachers, friends, family, telling me that God has given Abigail, wisdom beyond her years. I never gave it much thought and thought people are just being nice until.... Yesterday, Phill was just doing a usual round to the homeless on Hemphill. Abigail asked if she could go. We told her she could and I reminded her to be friendly but be careful. When she heard that her friends were coming over, she asked if she could stay home. So I pulled her aside and I asked her one question, "Has God put the homeless in your heart?" She looked at me and nodded. I was taken by surprised. But I told her if God has put them in her heart, then she has to first obey God. That when she comes home, her friends will be here. But what God has put in her heart is important for her to do. Her friends came over, everyone got ready, and she left with her daddy. I was so proud of her. I almost cried when I told Phill afterwards about the conversation I had with her. I praise God for her and for giving her such wisdom. Lord, thank you for using Abigail and giving her the opportunity to love your people. Continue to teach her, mold her, and speak to her. Open her heart and eyes to You. Help us to guide her in her strengths and weaknesses. We pray that we will be equipped to bring her closer to You. Keep the devil away from her and keep her set apart for You. You know her heart and our hearts. Continue to work in us. AMEN.


Quote Benjamin Nockels.........
http://www.glocal.net/blog/comments/mission-community-fellowship/

"If we pursue friendship we can miss out on discipleship.
But if we pursue discipleship we will end up with the best kind of friendship.

If we pursue community we can miss out on a cause.
But if we pursue a cause we will end up with the best kind of community (cause-driven community).

If we pursue church we can miss out on Jesus.
But if we pursue Jesus we will end up with the best kind of church."

Finally, 15 days overdue baby #3

Esther Eden Koo
born Mar24 2pm 9lb7oz

We all expected this third baby to arrive in the end of February, and she kept us waiting and waiting!

Esther, literally means "star" (Esther, a young Hebrew girl formerly known as Hadassa, was chosen to be queen of Persia. She was a courageous young woman who confronted a wicked plan that was going to persecute her people even when she faced death); Eden is Hebrew for "delight" (Eden is mentioned once again in the last book of the Bible, Revelation chapter 2, as a place of where the tree of life still resides). We dedicated the Book of Phillipians to her. She is to live out a life described in Phillipians 2:14-16 as a star and be the place where others can find the "tree of Life" at.

Our first born, Abigail (the wise woman who became a wife of King David) is Hebrew and means "joy of her Abba Father"; Elizabeth (Mary's cousin, Jesus' Aunt once removed) is Greek for Hebrew name Elisheva "my God is my oath". We dedicated the book of Proverbs to her. She is to bring joy and glory to God in her life through wisdom, passion, and servanthood.

Our second born, Isaac (son of Abraham who calls God "his Fear") is Hebrew for "he will laugh"; James (half brother of Jesus) is English for Hebrew name Jacob "supplanter". We pray he will rejoice and bring glory to God's kingdom as he learns to become a leader. And of course we dedicated the book of James to him.

BABY!

YAY i am getting induced tomorrow and i am having regular contractions now! God is good.

I will not forget

I have been so frustrated and annoyed. The baby is supposed to come out earlier because it's our third one! I haven't been able to walk, sit, or sleep well for so long. I need to clean the house but can't. I need to spend quality time with my two toddlers but I feel like I haven't. I need to cook but I don't want to. I need to eat but I don't feel like it. I need the baby out, but it's not coming! I find myself getting mad. Getting mad at myself. My body. My baby. My God. We have been in prayer about this VBAC thing and this baby. What's going on??

But I keep reminding myself not to forget. I cannot forget. I will accept God's will in everything. I finished reading this ridiculously long book by Beth Moore yesterday, "To live is Christ". Paul met Jesus on the road to Damascus and I met Jesus on the road to death in my car 5 years ago. I remember the moment when I gave up. Jesus sat in the passenger seat right next to me in my white Ford Taurus. I was hurting, heart broken, purposeless in life, and I remember a supernatural peace came rushing when I cried out for Jesus. It drenched me, my body, physically in something that felt like grace and comfort. He was right across from me. I met Him in my car. I met Jesus face to face. He talked to me and He confronted me. I will never forget. My moment of salvation will always bring tears to my eyes.

Grace like rain. He became my Lord, my Savior, my everything. There's none other from then on. So Lord, I trust in You. Whatever it is You have planned, that's the way it will be. Just give me Your strength, courage, and mercy. God help me. God reveal in me my iniquities. Help me to overcome. You are all powerful and I know You are able to do all things. Bless my children and be with them. Help us to be parents who will always fall on their knees for Your help and mercy. Speak to us and we will listen. We pray Your sovereignty over all things in our lives. AMEN.

Grace Like Rain

Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EU2h9dXPat0&feature=related

Baby is due?!

I am so sore and tired!!!! When will this baby come?

On the matter on killing babies

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=53913504270&h=BAJAw&u=BsgRu

I strongly oppose abortion. I think someone who is an advocate of abortion should just strongly consider staying out of the matter.

Funny Abigail quotes

I hope to be better at documenting the funny stuff my kids say soon....

"Mommy, I don't feel blue... I feel red"

"I know my shapes, but Isaac is not a shape. He's like a silly monkey."

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your armpit!"

"I don't have socks... but I've got toes!"

"I am a pink dinosaur with red legs, and blue face, and I have green toes, and pink arms."

"Mommy, you look like a walrus"

Phill said "oh good job, your poop looks healthy and strong..." Abigail responded, "do my poopies have muscles?"

Abigail colors a picture with a dog in it. She comes to show it off, and I asked, "Does your dog have a name?" "Yeah, Dog Koo!!!" 8/2009

Strengths and weaknesses

It has been so difficult to see specific spiritual gifts in Abigail and Isaac. It is so easy to "approve" or "like" or "favor" what one kids does, so we figured we must be liking spiritual gifts we can recognize.

So, Isaac at age 16mth has developed amazing physical skills. He can jump, run, climb up and down anything. He also has amazing communication skills. Isaac has a loving heart too. But what we have been so warmed in our hearts by, is his God given ability to share. He is sinfully still selfish of course, but he loves to be generous. Isaac loves music. I think he would love to learn the drums. He is also in love with books. He cannot survive half a day without reading.

Abigail on the other hand has to be taught a lot more to be generous. Sharing does not make her joyful. But she has amazing coloring skills, attention span, and is already learning to read ( I still can't believe she knows all the phonetic sounds of the alphabets). She loves to organize. She is some kind of a perfectionist. Her spiritual gift is more administrative and hidden. She is very compassionate and knows how to feel for others even though others might not always come first. Abigail loves music too. I think she would love to lead worship one day like me. Abigail loves to talk about God, she asks lots of questions and knows many bible stories. But her understanding and ability to remember details are incredible. She understands that Jesus is the only One that can take her to heaven! She is currently, as of today, inquiring where death takes you. But she knows so much, I am astounded. She knows tons of bible verses, not because we systematically make her memorize it, I don't know if I agree to that, but because we use bible verses throughout the day! I will intentionally get a new verse once a month, but she is able to apply the bible verses to life and not just to her amazing sponge memory.

Recognizing their strengths and weaknesses is essential. We had to sit and think hard of these strengths and weaknesses. Phill and I both have shared how our parents looked down upon what we knew were strengths and nagged us crazy about our weaknesses. They also favored other siblings because their strengths were more "useful". By acknowledging the gifts that God has bestowed on our children, we will encourage their strengths and build their weaknesses in God's timing. Parenting has been so much work because we both have some horrible, deeply rooted, and twisted "skills" from the way we grew up. Only through God's grace and wisdom have we discovered these truths about ourselves and have been transforming ever since. Transformation will never cease since our children have different phases and are in different ages. We will never be able to do it on our own. I pray God will continue to raise us as a family who will glorify His name and Kingdom. His grace and wisdom be with us. Amen.

Warning on a book - FWD

"Subject: Beware of this book....Oprah is pushing it...
To:
Date: Sunday, February 8, 2009, 8:59 PM
BEWARE!!

If you have children or grandchildren, work with children at church, or you have neighborhood children whose parents you know, please take note of the information below and pass it along to others. Schools are distributing this
book to children through the Scholastic Book Club.

The name of the book is Conversations with God.. James Dobson talked about this book twice this week. It is devastating. Parents, churches and Christian schools need to be aware of it. Please pass this information on to
church/e-mail addresses, Parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, friends.

Please pay special attention not only to what your kids watch on TV, in

movie theaters, on the Internet, and the music they listen to, but also be alert regarding the books they read.

Two particular books are, Conversations with God and Conversations with God for Teens,
written by Neale D. Walsch. They sound harmless enough by their titles alone. The books have been on the New York Times best sellers list for a number of weeks, and they make truth of the statement, "Don't judge a book by its cover or title."

The author purports to answer various questions asked by kids using the "voice of God". However, the "answers" that he gives are not Bible-based and go against the very infallible word of God. For instance (and I paraphrase),
when a girl asks the question "Why am I a lesbian?" His answer is that she was 'born that way' because of genetics (just as you were born right-handed, with brown eyes, etc.). Then he tells her to go out and "celebrate" her differences.

Another girls poses
the question "I am living with my boyfriend. My parents say that I should marry him because I am living in sin. Should I marry him?"

His reply is, "Who are you sinning against? Not me, because you have done nothing wrong."

Another question asks about God's forgiveness of sin. His reply "I do not forgive anyone because there is nothing to forgive. There is no such thing as right or wrong and that is what I have been trying to tell everyone, do not ju
dge people. People have chosen to judge one another and this is wrong, because the rule is "'judge not lest ye be judged."

Not only are these books the false doctrine of the devil, but in some instances quote (in error) the Word of God.

And the list goes on. These books (and others like it) are being sold to schoolchildren through (The Scholastic Book Club), and we need to be aware of what is being fed to our children.

The children of our nation are under attack. So I pray that you be sober and vigilant about teaching your children the Word of God, and guarding their exposure to worldly mediums, because our adversary, the devil, roams about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8). We know that lions usually hunt for the slowest, weakest and YOUNGEST of its prey.

Pass this on to every Believer you know. And, if you are in doubt, check out the
books yourself."