Re-visitation

Frequent re-visitations are essential. What I mean is, when God is teaching something, go back and revisit it frequently, read it again, think about it again, pray about it again, examine your life against it again and again.

One of the heart issues I was revisiting tonight is what I had mentioned in the blog on Sept 5, 2012, just a couple of weeks ago. I wrote the verse I mentioned on the cover on my bible, and when it fades, I re-write it. I just rewrote it two nights ago actually.

I went on biblegateway, and I put different versions together and studied them. Click on this, this is what I had on my screen.

In the last block, the Chinese version, it says, "Lazy man admire from afar but can't ever achieve; those who put all their might into hard work are promised prosperity." Sounds like a Chinese proverb!! ;) It says what it means and means what it says. The word admire, gives a longing for whatever they try to achieve. Also, the second part gives "umph" to the hard work. It's like triple hard work. Then, the word promised, it's gives me a "wow, finally, satisfaction is here" feeling. I love this version and how I translated it, hahaha.

Now look at Holman Christian, the slacker, here, is someone who just mopes and sits around doing nothing, even though it sounds like he knows what he should be doing. Well, he gets nothing! The ones who are diligent are satisfied, whatever they need or want to accomplish.

How about ESV? I wonder if the original language had the word "pneuma" or what in it? It says soul. But, I get it. It's deeper. It's not about material. Not about things. As I blogged on Sept 5, I crave to have spiritual things done, and when I don't work hard to get them, my SOUL feels like failure, like confused, I feel unrest.

NASB is similar to ESV.... except for the word FAT at the end LOL made me think food instead. Maybe soul food. Food for the our eternal spirit. God's Word. Jesus did say, "Man does not live by bread alone." We shall grow spiritually with spiritually food.

NIV uses the word appetite. It made me think food right away too. Everyone has an appetite for either worldliness or godliness. We have to choose what to work hard at. If we choose worldliness, we will never be filled in spiritually. There will never be enough when we are lazy at working toward godliness. Ecc5:10

I have been working slowly towards discerning what God wants me to be doing VS my own wants. I want to have a good appetite for working towards the right things, not empty things that don't matter to Him. May all of us strive for a godly appetite for spiritual growth, and never give up desiring it with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.

LORD, You are my God, continue to teach me through this verse. I can't get enough of You and what wisdom You have for me. Use me, humble me, teach me, direct me, help me to always glorify you in everything I do. Focus my eyes on You and what You have called me to do and who You have called me to be. Give me strength to not seek human praise and ignore human jeer, but to turn my gaze upon You. Thank You Lord for giving me abundant life I never dreamed I would have. Truly, You know what's best for me. In Jesus' name I pray to You. AMEN.

The Last Convo

Phill, my husband, and I have been praying for weeks about today.

Did I have a clue it was today? No. Not till this morning. 

I woke up with a headache. At around 8am, my ears were choosing to pick up low pitches extraordinarily, attributing to an elevated headache. I started praying, and praying about the meeting, knowing M and S are coming. Then, I got this affirmation. A peace that transcends all understanding, 100% certainty, no doubt. 

I gotta be honest to say, that after 1.5 years, I have wanted this moment, but I was never 100% sure. At some points, I did get a bit exhausted, maybe a little frustrated here and there, wanted my "JW day" to be my day again... But my response wasn't, wow finally, or yay. It was yes Lord, I will obey. 

To give you some background info, we had been going through their little yellow book "What does the Bible really teach?" We were on Ch15 when we could not go on. So they suggested to go back to Ch1 and skimming through the subtitles of the chapters. By that time, I narrowed my questions down to 3 of them. 1.Spirit after death 2.Jesus the angel 3.Trinity/Modalism. For the past 2 weeks, I had been interviewing them about #1, asking them for evidence. 

Here are the highlights of our conversation, remember we talked as friends, our tones are kind and light. Very much like just talking to our next door neighbor:

1. I started by stating that I have been praying about this a lot, that it's not so much about the different issues but that if an organization is truly chosen by God, I am in because God is never wrong even tho people are imperfect and will make mistakes. On the other hand, if an organization shows false teachings, I am out, cuz God would want me out. 

2. They continued to show me magazines and evidences that makes their organization truly awesome. Everyone volunteers, everyone loves each other, their teachings are the same internationally... I said to any of this, "this is commendable. I really appreciate this." They said, how did the Bible say we can tell if an organization is true or false? it's by its fruits. Good fruits only grow on good tree, and bad fruits only grow on bad trees. Our organization never sweeps anything under the rug, our brothers and sisters serve one another etcetcetc... I said, well, I guess I see the good fruits and trees differently. I don't see it just talking about an organization. I see it talking about individuals. People as good trees carrying good fruits can be associated with an organization that is a bad tree carrying bad fruits. And people can have bad fruits and be associated with an organization that carries good fruits. That why God prunes away. 

3. I had a question in Revelation 9:1-11. Who is Abaddon? Who is the angel of the abyss? Who are the locusts? What are their jobs? (side note: previously they had given me a red publication named "Revelation - a great climax") The reason I asked these questions was because if you read the passage, you would know the answer is obvious. Who else would rise up from the bottom of the abyss? Who else would be the King angel? I quoted all the verses about locusts and Abaddon in OT book of Joel . They refused to answer me. They kept saying we need to research. S at one point said, give me that red book. I said, no I don't want to upset you. S laughed, just give it to me! So I did. Page 148, “Their king is the angel of the abyss. His Jewish name is Abaddon… (Revelation 9:11). Jesus as the “angel of the abyss” and the “destroyer” inflicted indeed a deadly plague on the Christian world.” (p. 148).  You would not believe it, but at first they refused to acknowledge the natural explanation from the bible. After several readings, she said, the red book says.... I kindly interrupted no, this bible right here says something different from that book. I cannot accept that Jesus is the angel of the abyss and that he is the king of these locusts. 

4. Deuteronomy 18:20-22  I read through my research, not just 1975 cuz they will say that never happened, that the elders of the congregations misunderstood. And of course, I told them, that doesn't make any sense that some elders from some halls from some cities can then affect all congregations from all the halls from the whole world. My grandma has been JW for more than 40 years, I know this happened. S brought up jw.org on her phone and started reading how she knows her organization is the one true religion. The WT loves using anecdotes to prove their points cuz Jesus used parables. anyway, at one point she read about handing out maps so people can know how to get to their destination. So I asked, how do we know how reliable these maps are? The map giver is always going to say that theirs are the most reliable.... I said, if in 1800 I can do something to go to heaven but in 2015 it's no longer valid, I think that map is not very reliable. I then brought up the bible verse and I said, I don't want to disobey God. I cannot study this organization's material anymore. They started to pack up after these 2.5 hours.

5. Funny thing. S keeps asking me questions. 
a) so, do you have the truth? yes, i do. it is right here in this bible alone. just the bible.
b) where are you going to go when you die? i am going to be with God. I know there are many discussions about heaven and hell, but the bible is clear about one thing, you die either to be with God or to be without God. It says, if you accept Jesus as your Savior, believe He died for your sins, and confess with your mouth, you are going to be with God. I am going to be with God.  
c) how do you know what your church teaches is true? my husband and i are not "baptists" we are God fearing people who follow the bible. we just happen to go to a baptist seminary, it's not a title or label. If a church we walk into does not teach the bible, we walk away. If a church teaches the bible but God has not brought us there, we walk away too. Only if a church teaches the bible and God has called that we stay to serve. We are not bound to one organization.
d) what were you before you became a Christian? i was into new age, a little buddhism here, a little hinduism there, a bit of atheism... i used to have nightmares about dying when i was a kid. 
and then I started reading the bible and found God. 
e) but your bibles took out jehovah's name.... yes and studying with y'all have opened my eyes to that. that's why i have been seeking out bibles like Holmann Christian and New Jerusalem Bible that have YHWH in them. 

No arguments, no debates, seasoned with truth. 

6. Awww we are going to miss you.... Me: me too!!!!! drop by any time. email me, call me, text me!
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M and S will bring this sadly rare Christian kindness with them and to their hall. They are not going to black list me or my house. Their hall will send people back. I have complete peace and trust that God's work has been finished. Please continue to pray for M and S.

Listen, if you have family or friends who are Jehovah's Witnesses, please don't give up talking to them. If you don't know how or you have before with no avail, please contact me. I will show you how to talk to them without getting upset or getting them upset.  I have a great mentor and friend through out this journey and I couldn't have done it without him. For more than 30 years, he used to be a JW and used to write for their publications. He got out and now "an associate member of the Evangelical Theological Society. Member of ISCA, International Society of Christian Apologetics. Member of Mensa." All things are possible for God. He can free their minds!!!

Oh Lord my God, You are so awesome and amazing. What is a year and a half compared to an eternity when one soul repents and returns to You???? Thank You for sending M and S to my door. Thank You for giving me an opportunity to learn, to commit to a call, and to struggle through all this. Thank You for my supportive friends who kept me accountable and also my not so supportive friends who kept me humble. Help me now to rest and be still. Let my spirit rejoice and be glad. You are precious Jesus, whoever finds you is like finding a rare treasure in a vast field. Help me hold onto this..................... In your precious name, AMEN.

Who doesn't?

I haven't found anyone who doesn't hate cancer. I have friends who has or had cancer and died from cancer.   Sin has seriously brought it on. When sin entered this world through Adam, sin also corrupted all that is in the world and of the world. It is only through Christ we find any hope from this sick world.

^{Romans 5:18-19} Consequently, just as one trespass resulted in condemnation for all people, so also one righteous act resulted in justification and life for all people. For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

I really don't like taking or giving medicine. I don't like hospitals or doctors. I guess I just have had too many bad experiences with them personally. Did I use to? No. Needles, shots, hospitals, doctors, dentists, were never a dislike for me. I went to them often and I was taught to relax and just let them do their thing and trust them 100%. Now, as I get older, wiser, teachable, knowledgeable etc, I just cannot believe what I have experienced, heard, read and tolerated. 

I have learned to say no. I have learned to look for healthy alternatives. I have learned to think independently regardless of media bombardment, peer pressure, and cultural trends.

This is one of the articles that makes me shudder at doctors and researchers. http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/researchers-accidentally-discover-chemo-helps-tumors-grow/

Draw your own conclusions. I am not saying to not like doctors or hate meds or never ever go to the hospital. I am saying, read up, don't be lazy to research, don't be afraid to get second opinions, don't get all spooked out by natural remedies, learn learn and keep learning.

Art of fear

I love this artistic statement Liu is making. As a Christian, as a Hong Kong citizen, as a US citizen, as the Presidential election approaches, as the day of the LORD approaches, etc this speaks to me so loudly about this world. This picture is what many people feel and probably what Liu feels as Chinese. This is what God's words have to say:

Phillipians 4-9

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.


Take a look:

The Mending Project, an installation by artist Beili Liu consists of "hundreds of Chinese scissors suspended from the ceiling, pointing downwards. The hovering, massive cloud of scissors alludes to distant fear, looming violence and worrisome uncertainty. [Liu] sits beneath the countless sharp blades of the scissors, and performs the on-going simple task of mending."

A Haiku for my husband :D

You da man, by jojo

Hunny, you da man;
Luv God, luv wife, luv yo' kids.
Nuttin' else matters!

"Preacher man!" they say.
Fear of the Lord brings wisdom 
Nuttin' else matters!

You da man, hunny;
Thanks, above all you choose God.
Nothing else matters. :)

Music to my ear

It's been a long long time since I woke up to Hanon.

I have woken up to them practicing a little song. But not Hanon yet.

I grew up waking up to my mother teaching piano. Every Saturday and Sunday morning, I'd hear my mom's students play classical music and technique exercises.

This morning at 8, I woke up to a familiar sound. I was a little confused, but as I awoke, I realized Isaac was practicing Hanon #1 by himself. It was truly music to my ears. My eyes opened wide and I propped up going, huh? I tried to figure out if it was Abigail or Isaac. Out of curiosity, I went to the living room and found out I was right. :)

It was a very sweet moment.

Hymn Medley

Another Hymn Medley

Arr. Jo Jo

(Synth)

GCG   GC

Alleluia Alleluia

C                                             G

For our Lord God Almighty reigns

GCG        GC

Alleluia Alleluia

C                                             G

For our Lord God Almighty reigns

GC

Alleluia       (Guitar fade in)

C    GC   G

Holy Holy

                C     G                      D

Are You Lord God Almighty

                                C

Worthy is the Lamb

                                  C

Worthy is the Lamb

                   GC    G  

You are Holy Holy

                C             G             D

Are You Lord God Almighty

                                C

Worthy is the Lamb

                                C

Worthy is the Lamb

G                           D            G(bm)             A   

Amen

D

I stand amazed in the presence

      A                       D
Of Jesus the Nazarene,

        G                                       D       
And wonder how He could love me,

    D                 A                     D
A sinner, condemned, unclean.

D
 how marvelous!   how wonderful!

A
And my song shall ever be:

D                             (bm)
 how marvelous!   how wonderful!

G       em                           A              D
Is my Savior's love for me!

D
He took my sins and my sorrows,

      A                                       D
He made them His very own;

   G                                 D
He bore the burden to Calvary,

          D                   A        D
And suffered and died alone.


(Bonified piano solo)

         D
When with the ransomed in glory

       A                              D
His face I at last shall see,

                G                                D
’Twill be my joy through the ages

       D              A             D
To sing of His love for me.

D                      G

My chains are gone

                      D

I've been set free

                       G                                      D

My God, my Savior has ransomed me

                    G                         D

And like a flood His mercy rains

                       GA                   D

Unending love, Amazing grace (2X)

       D                            G               D

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow  ( fade)

                               A

The sun forbear to shine

         D                                    G      D

But God, Who called me here below

         D     A       D

Will be forever mine 

         G      A       D

Will be forever mine

       D         GA        D

You are forever mine

Satisfaction

Hey. I struggle with feeling like I'm failing all. the. time. I always have some excuse for myself to fail. You know my life verse? Proverbs 13:4. Perfect for me. "The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent is fully satisfied."

I have to be honest, I bend towards laziness. Growing up, I did nothing but sit in front of a TV or mope around daydreaming. Now that I am a new creation in Christ, when I am lazy, I also crave to get stuff done. I really do. I have this craving to be a godly mom and godly wife and I have a plan in my head.

I don't want to be the sluggard who just keeps having these cravings of what my life should be or who I should become or why I did not do something. If these godly desires don't get fully satisfied, my heart gets confused, defeated, deflated, and crushed!

FAILURE gets etched in my brain and heart when my negative feelings collide with my godly cravings. 

When I read this verse, I am so convicted and motivated. It's written on the cover of my bible. I say it to myself before I go to sleep, because the second part of the verse is my goal. I want to be FULLY satisfied. That includes my spiritual walk with Jesus, housework, homeschooling, working out, being submissive... everything! The fruits of satisfaction pleases not only me, but my God.

LORD, Continue to teach me to do all things unto Your glory. AMEN.