The Perfect Storm

There is a need to document what is happening. When I began to experience a spiritual rest and mountain top high with the Lord a few months ago, I started to wonder what is next to come for our family. A bit excited but a bit cautious. When God prepares me this way, I knew something big is going to happen. He was building me up this time to receive something humungous. Something bigger than anything that has happened in several years.

In April, I typed up an entry entitled "New Leaf". The spiritual healing and rest happened 2 months after grieving what happened in our short fostering season. It is now almost August. Troubles started 3 weeks ago in mid July. Van needs a couple thousand bucks worth of repairing. That was fine cuz who needs air conditioned transportation? Who needs a van?

Then, our zucchini plants were attacked by squash borers, 11/13 plants died. Gardening and eating our own harvest is a big deal. Food is expensive!

Then I got a letter about my professional teaching certificate renewal that I needed not 2 but 3 credits of SWD classes.

Then, a few days ago, our one income has been exterminated. Without warning. Even though people could have warned people out of compassion or mercy or whatever.

Then some guy decides to fight another guy in my husband's office where he was on his last two weeks to where a police report had to be filed.

Today, I opened our library account, $25.99 for a lost book we did not lose. REALLY?!

Anyway, Satan is whipping up a perfect storm for us. He sure is having fun. Last time Phil left overseas, I remember another perfect storm. I might have recorded it, I might not have. But I remember it. Someone does not want God's work to be done.

God has a huge plan for us and He has allowed Satan to sift us. There's something that needs to be sifted so... we submit to it. The Lord will deliver us through it, or out of it, or into glory. But I prayed days ago, that when I became a Christian, I knew. I surrendered my all then, and I am never backing out. I am going to serve the Lord with my life. No matter where, how, when, etc There is nothing else that's worth doing. Everything in the world will fade. I don't want to work for things that fade. I don't want to waste the one life God gave me.

All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust in
In His presence daily give
I surrender all
I surrender all
All to Jesus I surrender
I surrender ALL

I am giving Him all. No reservations.

Here is a list of what I treasure.
my future, my husband, my kids, my gifts and talents, friends, my phone, my wifi, my laptop, my rights, money, my pride, my desire to get a masters, leading worship, writing music, my ambitions, my health...

More will happen. The perfect storm will come. But after the storm,... promises. The day after we lost our main income, people kept sending me pics of rainbows they saw after some rain. Coincidence? I think not. Reassurance. Reassurance that I am the apple of God's eye, the daughter of the KING, princess of God, His most worthy possession, His trophy, Jesus's bride,... that I am taken care of, much more important than the sparrows and the flowers of the fields.

After the sifting, after the perfect storm dies down, God will rain down His mercy, grace, and blessings on us. He will take care of everything and we will not be forgotten. That's what Satan wants us to believe, that we are forgotten in this time of need. No. God has not forgotten about us. And if Satan hasn't forgotten about us either and has asked to sift us, that's actually pretty good news for us as Christians. We will make Jesus famous.

Amen and Amen.

Lessons of surrender

As a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, there is one difficult thing (out of many) I have committed myself to grow in and apply in my life continuously. When I was saved a decade ago, I surrendered myself unto Christ in my car, in a parking lot. I did not know I was surrendering, but, I remember raising a white flag, screaming "This is it! I want this to be over! Take over, Jesus, I am at the end of myself!" When I think of that moment in my life, words like depressing, heart wrenching, hopeless, come in mind.

And yet, that moment was followed immediately by the words, Overwhelming Awe, Inexpressible Joy, Unfathomable Grace, and Unconditional Love. A life of healing and new hope had finally begun for me... miraculously... supernaturally.

Do you have a story, a testimony similar to mine? A moment where Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, swept you off your feet and claim you as His own when you were collapsing into a sea of deeper sorrow? Are you still walking close to the Lord today?

For those who believe this is some stage or phase people like us go through....

10 years later, He has not forsaken me. 10 years after that awful and awesome moment, I can testify the Bible is filled with the promises and love letters from God. He is the one true and living God who has been personally ministering to me, providing for me, teaching me, challenging me, testing me, walking with me, encouraging me, disciplining me, and empowering me. 

Through endless life experiences of joy, miracles, fulfillment, harvest, grief, disappointment, rejection, mockery, etc, the true art of surrendering is learned, relearned, applied, and reapplied, till I am again, close to Him as He tells me, "That's it. You got it. Keep coming." 

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Without the understanding of true surrender, I would never have understood the direct connection between suffering and healing, struggles and victory, slavery and freedom. In the dictionary, the word "surrender" simply means to yield yourself over  In Christian terms, we forgo the desires, control, and ownership of ourselves to a living and loving God. So many of us forget, that as we forgo all these things, the Holy Spirit is meant to take over completely, and therefore, conforming us to the image of Christ, the epitome of suffering and healing!  

When we think of the word "suffering", the adjective "bad" always pops up in our mind. It is only normal. I, on the other hand, would like to prove and persuade anyone who is willing to seek this matter with me, that the word "suffering" needs to be understood and perceived as "good". Not as in enjoyable, but as in a character of God.


Jump to Romans 5:1-5 where in verse 3, the word "suffering" was used twice. In Greek, it was actually the word Thlipsis, which means tribulation and persecution. This sounds much more physical than Harmozo. The author stated that the Christians glory, kauchaomai, boasted, in their "suffering" and that this "suffering" produced perseverance. Sounds again like "suffering" is good! Why would "suffering" be producing a fruit of the Spirit, and why else would they boast in it?


Romans 8:13-39 is another great passage. It speaks of a "suffering" that joins Christ and us in verse 17, and a "suffering" that is endured in verse 18. Sumpaschó in verse 17, simply means suffer together. If we suffer together with Christ, we prove we are actually in His legacy, and when we do so, we also share in His glory. Umm, again, good! This next word in verse 18, pathéma, is a strong term. This suffering is a passion, a zeal, an agony that comes from within. This suffering comes from knowing Christ and wanting to be purged of sin. This kind of "suffering", as stated by the author, leads to a glory that has no comparison, and that glory would be revealed in us because of this "suffering". GOOD!

Now, read Acts 5:25-42 and pay special attention to verse 41.  The Greek word, Harmozo, was used in verse 41 as the verb "to suffer".  "Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name." Harmozo means betrothed, to fit in, to join oneself in.  These apostles rejoiced  and were counted worthy because now that they had been persecuted, they were now dishonored with Christ! And, it was good. Why else were they rejoicing and counted as worthy?

There are so many more evidence in the rest of the Bible, that "suffering" indeed is good because it brings us closer to the Goal, the Perfecter of our faith, our Savior. Apart from our desire to be like Him, our suffering would be met with hostility and anger, perceived as pointless, and wasted! Let us surrender every day fully unto Jesus, the one who suffered for us and reconciled us with His Father. Learn to fall apart spiritually instead of physically! Put your hands up and put down the things you are holding on to. Get on your knees and beg for His Spirit to turn your heart into flesh. Grieve, be in agony, mourn until He shows you how to heal. 

1. Read James 1:5-27 Seek to be humble and ask Him to open your eyes to displeasing impurities you are holding onto

2. Read James 2:1-13 Examine your thoughts and motives for everything you do. Get rid of things in your schedule you know are taking your focus from the Lord.

3. Read James 3 Are you a teacher? Reign your tongue! Do not allow human wisdom to take over your brain, but allow God's wisdom from the bible take over all of your body. Pursue righteousness.

4. Read James 4 Surrender! Grieve and mourn for yourself. Put down everything that is not godly today and run towards godliness. 

5. Read James 5 Surrender not just to God but to one another. Confess your sins and ask for healing. Healing cannot happen if there is no understanding or confession. 

LORD Jesus, allow me to gain in my suffering! Teach me to draw close to You as You continue to teach me to live more abundantly. May Your Spirit abide in me and stir up a thirst in zeal, passion, and understanding. Without You, I am nothing. AMEN.