My struggles as a mother have not come from my kids' misbehavior or weird conduct. It has come from my own childhood. Whatever I was struggling with then, I still struggle with now. The way I was wired then, is the way I am still wired now. My struggles as a mother still come from the ways I saw my parents acted and reacted. Yes, I am a new creation in Christ. Yes, I have gone through the renewing of my mind. Yes, I have been saved by grace through faith in Jesus. My struggles as a mother come as I realize that I have to go through these steps each and every day to ensure the purity, sanity, and sanctity of my mind, heart, and soul.
Truth? It's tough! My normal childhood in the world was not normal at all. My childhood was not just in the word, but of the world. Going to temples and worshiping statues were a norm. The yelling and screaming ending with a talk of divorce every night was a norm. A depressed suicidal childhood was a norm. These things followed me into pre-adulthood and magnified as I found myself unprepared for adulthood, so I played pretend.
Dare. The dare was to stop playing pretend. The falsehood that chained me to its bones had me think that I was somehow doing all right. When I met Jesus in my car, I was immediately baptized with the Holy Spirit. Confronted with endless grace, I knew I couldn't lie to the face of the living God.
Difference? Hope. My struggles of laziness, longing for more of God, an untamed tongue, unsubmissive heart, wild thoughts.... have only one hope. JESUS. I am thankful Jesus has cut my chains to my old self but I am not perfect. When Paul said "Therefore" in Romans 12:1, he was addressing the remnants of Israel. Last verse in chapter 11 says God has bound everyone to disobedience so that He may have mercy on them ALL. So "in view of God's mercy," we have to offer our tongue, our minds, our hearts, our ears, our eyes, our feet, our laughter, our tears, our happiness, our anger, our sufferings, as a "living sacrifice." Our worship to the one true hope, one true God, is the ways we treat and employ the bodies God has given us.
Charge. The charge is for ultimate holiness. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world," Paul says. What pattern? The patterns of infidelity, idolatry, speech, jealousy, hatred, Christian feminism, self righteousness, love of money. On top of that, Paul added, "but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Renewed by God's Word, His righteousness, His kindness, His grace, His mercy, His submissiveness,.... everything that stands opposite to this world! Everything that the world cannot do without His help.
THEN! Then, I will be able to "test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will."
My struggles as a mother has not ended, but it HAS an end. :) It is a victorious end and it lies at the foot of the cross, in the blood of Christ, by the grace of God.
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1,2
