Love is tough

So before I blog about love, I wanted to note down that my husband and I had "intensive fellowship" last night about political matters among other stuff that was brought up. I read a lot about politics, not as much as I want to and not as much as my hubby does, and I am a pro-life and pro traditional marriage right wing conservative. I know what I believe in and I know what God teaches and I will support only what is morally sound. I am intolerant in my beliefs and I will stand up for what is right in the sight of God. So will my husband.

Personally, I don't see it as a problem to "legalize" gay unions or abortions. Every human being has a right to make choices. Even if these things are not legalize, people will still choose to live in gay lifestyles or kill their babies. That's their own choice. Truth is, man is not sovereign, God is. A marriage covenant is only valid in the eyes of God and murder is sin. Anyway, reason why we will always vote conservative is not because we are intolerant but because there is a battle for where tax money goes. If we ever voted for someone who use tax money to kill babies, or affirm sexual immorality, or affirm homosexuality, we will be held accountable for who we let into office.

The issue that my husband did convince me of last night, was that it is fine that public schools will use tax money to advance gay agendas and safe sex and all this stuff because it is government school. That's a huge reason why he is in ministry, not paying that tax and why we will never send our kids to government schools. He had a point. Those are government schools.

The point is to get this political fight over with so we are not spending billions just for the fight. I get it.

Anyway, love is tough. I cannot love those I don't love. I realized that. I need God to transform that part of me. I am trying so hard. I am praying and getting help. Truth is, it's too hard for me. God is going to have to do a miracle in my soul and my heart. Growing up in an environment where I failed to bond with anyone had a huge part in my inability to know how to love and accept those who don't reach my "expectations". I have chosen to be a transparent person, and yet, a lot of people just don't love me either because I am weird, blunt, rude, assertive, and "intolerant". I have less than 5 people who truly love me for who I am. I don't know what's going on. I just know God has to reveal it to me. God, help me for I am nothing. You are the One who can transform me and help me because You are the only One who knows me since birth. I don't even know myself enough to help myself. I have no control over this. Please take over and cleanse me. Continue Your work in me. Make me holy and let my life glorify Your name. Help my children deal with our generational sins and give us hope to make our family line holy for You. We want a family with servants and ambassadors of Christ. We dedicate our family to You that You will do glorious things through us and our children and grandchildren. You are our God and our King. AMEN.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.