This week has been just an explosion of JOY for me. The resurrection of Christ certainly is one of the most debated topics. I have been on both sides.
The most painful experience I had was realizing that I had been wrong. To read and understand that God's Word described me to the Tee as an unbeliever and admitting to Him that I was indeed that way was shameful. But this pain, this agony, brought me onto my knees to receive a gift called grace. Grace is a gift that I did not expect and deserve. My old life, now renewed by His grace, is a life I never imagined for myself.
How does a person go from being depressed and beaten to joyful and victorious even in suffering? One word. Hope. Not just hope in a president, or hope in a relationship, or hope in new life, etc... but hope beyond death. I used to curl up in my bed with no more tears to sob at the age of 8. I felt lonely, hollow, meaningless, purposeless.... everything I did was just going into the air, so why try to live well? I gave up. I had no accountability. No one could hold me down. I rebelled and no one could stop me. I suffered many bad consequences from my bad choices. These bad consequences led me right to the bottom and I couldn't do it any longer. But the LORD was so good to me that He reached down to me when I thought I was done for. He reached down to me and touched my soul. He healed me and gave me a taste of what it would be like to be with Him. He opened my eyes to His Word and Work. Since that day, I have lived my life knowing that He has got my back no matter what. Do I still struggle? Oh yes. But I struggle with Him and wrestle with Him as I deal with my sinful nature. Just as He had suffered, I will suffer. I am willing to bear His legacy and testimony of suffering till He makes me perfect. Without suffering and struggles, my spiritual would be stagnant. Who wants that?
For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task? Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God.2 Cor 2:15-17
" There is nothing left to fear, nothing Heaven knows. For He died for us to give us life and to give us hope, He rose." Easter Carol, Veggietales
If you don't know just how much God loves you, take it from an ex atheist/buddhist/new ager/... you need to find out. He loves you and He wants you to have peace.. peace with death, peace with life, peace with Him.
My Father, who am I that You pay attention to? I know Your hands are upon my family for I have seen Your faithfulness and Your marvelous work in us. You have been orchestrating everything around us these days and I am grateful to see Your favor. Hold me close to You. Awake my soul to sing praises to You. Blessed be Your name as You demonstrate great power and miracles in our lives. You are an awesome God. Thank You for filling me with such joy I haven't felt in months. Thank You for Your grace and assurance. Thank You that You have never forsaken me or left me during my struggles. Glory to You, my God, for You are the One who saved my soul from the depths. Continue to mature me in my walk with You oh LORD. Jesus You are the One, the Way, the Truth, the Life. You are alive and no one can keep You from accomplishing Your will. Bless this family with Your Spirit as we continue to give ourselves to You. Holy is Your name, AMEN.
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