Isaac asked why Jesus gives us circumstances He knows we don't want to be in and work He knows we don't want to do. I cheated and sang "I surrender all" to him. Over a year ago, I asked our Father to show me what "surrender all" actually means. What this "All" is... It's been over a year and He has only shown me the tip of the iceberg. I certainly didn't expect it to bleed into my children's lives either.
Surrendering is a coin. It has two sides.
One side is like flying a white flag during battle. Hey I am surrendering cuz you overpower me. I'm ok with it because I am choosing to surrender. Hope you don't kill me after I surrender or take me prisoner.
The other side is like Elijah. Hey I am a fleeing prophet cuz you are my King and you chose me to do this job. If I were to choose, I'd live in the palace with food and drink. I would have been so happy. But you got to choose and I didn't get to choose. You chose me and now I choose to surrender everything I am to do what you chose for me to do and what life you chose for me to live. I don't like being chased by these evil people but I must continue to run from them. I don't like having to be isolated from the other prophets and live in the desert even though you are feeding me and providing a stream of water during a famine and drought. I don't like having to keep reaching out and helping people who reject you. I don't like being depressed and hurting even though You comfort me and sustain me. It is really cool to see You beat the prophets of Baal at Mount Carmel. And it's really awesome to know rain was coming while no one else did. We do really cool stuff together. You are a good God and I hate having to go through this hard stuff but You shall choose for me what I should do. You shall choose for me where I live. You shall choose for me whom I serve. You shall choose for me. I surrender my right to choose for myself.
God is not my enemy. I am not flying a white flag. I guess I am Elijah then. Learning this lesson has not been fun but it has been adventurous. It has been the most emotional, spiritually exhausting, frustrating, and difficult growing pain ever.
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