up at 5am

well actually i was up at 4:30am. i had initially woken up because someone coughed then i felt my swollen right lymph node and i started praying. when my mind gets going there's no stopping.

last night, metochai once again was a huge blessing. i know lots of women here actually think that metochai is some sort of "club" for the snobby wives here at seminary but it's simply not true. we are a group of seminary wives who decided it was important to grow together as seminary wives. we feel a need to stay together and support each other as our husbands slay the giants at school. we are just a bunch of girls who really love each other and understand each other.

last night, deborah pearl was speaking on generosity. she listed 3 things to be generous with. 1 compassion 2 hospitality 3 husband

God, teach me to be generous to my husband. deborah said that we need to recognize that our husband is God's. He is in His hands and knowing who our husbands are, they will continue to do what God wants them to do no matter what we say, do, or think. so instead of griping about how much time church is taking him away, or how much time ministry is sucking out of him etc, you have to let God deal with him. our husbands will continue helping the sick, poor, needy, hungry, even late at night and if he comes home to a wife who tears him down about it, he'll still obey the Lord in what he's called to do. but he shouldn't have to dread coming home to an emotionally shredding wife.

I am blessed. Phill doesn't overwork himself. he is not an overachiever. he is content with what God has called him to do right now and is obedient. but he is also very cautious and prayerful what he takes on. when we first got married, we already had our share of fights about ministry. we are done with it. he probably knows where his boundaries better than i do. i like to do everything and am a sucker for helping. if there's a need, i jump into helping. i sometimes tend to over commit and have too much faith in my multi-tasking skills. phill has been in the ministry for a lot longer and is so much more seasoned than i. i know i can lean on him and trust him. i can also trust that God and phill are a team where i don't have to worry about phill's choices when he tells me, "i have prayed about it and..."

So Lord, I need You to help me to be generous with him with my attitude, my attention, my servitude, my kind words, my love, and my prayers. i know You have called us into ministry. You have anointed us to further Your kingdom so we can rest on Your promises that no matter what happens we are to glorify Your name. Jesus, I know You gave me phill as a spouse but i will continue to remember to give him back to You. he is not mine. he is Yours. continue to speak to my heart and humble me. continue Your perfecting work in me so my life may glorify You. work in me visibly so my children will see You in my life. i will continue to dwell in You and invite You into our house and lives. Father God, You are my life. Thank You for Your sacrifice on the cross for MY sins. Let me never forget how You love me and have saved me from the snares of the world. This is in Your wonderful name I pray. AMEN.