Struggling

I desire to have hours to read the Bible, pray on my knees, and practice my instruments for worship. I want to have time for journaling and writing, and do my cardio kickboxing and group fitness certification. I would also love to swim laps for hours. The hardest thing I have to deal with after being married and shoved into motherhood is the lack of time for God and myself. I am constantly struggling to give myself and my ambitions up in order to raise up another generation of Kingdom workers. My goal for this week is to schedule in some time for fasting and praying for the kids, and studying God's word. I need a new schedule for the babies so I could be more effective with our time. I need to hear God, and I need His help. I have been wanting to just give up the opportunity He gave me to lead worship. There's just so much I want to do and can't do right now because I have kids. I know He wants me to be patient. I am so impatient. I want to jump right in, jump ahead, and do everything I envision of. I want to use God's word to write worship songs. I want to have my own worship band. I want to lead thousands in worship. I want to have my own worship CD. I have got to set aside lots of time for prayer and reading His word. I can hear Abigail awake from nap. I better go. I love You Jesus.